Published: 7 Sep 2026

Home at last;

Flying Fish Point could hardly be considered a town consisting mostly of holiday houses with southerners escaping the southern winters, not omitting the caravan parks filled to capacity with what was becoming an annual occurrence, as the so titled Gray Nomads wandered the country spending their children’s inheritance, travelled in convoy from one famous destination to another, chocking the highways with their slow moving vehicles, making passing almost impossible. Biff’s property happens to be midway between the Point and Innisfail, situated in grassy acres cut from the primeval forest on the bank of the Johnstone River. As David’s holiday house is at the Point Grady knew the area well and is surprised to noticed a for sale board as they approached the house.

“Stop for a minute.”

Biff pulls to the side of the road;

“What’s up?”

“Our holiday house, dad has it for sale.”

Grady comes from the utility and leans on the slip-rail fence to the side of the house. It is obvious no one had been in residence for some time with the lawn becoming pasture and the house gutters clogged to capacity from falling mango tree leaves and rotting fruit. The gutter directly under the large tree had already given in to the extra weight, sagging towards tolerance, suggesting with the next mango season it would fail.

Biff joins Grady at the slip-rail; placing his arm across Grady’s shoulders he drags him closer.

“We had some good holidays here;”

Grady’s tone is reflective with an overtone of remorsefulness.

I remember one holiday myself,” Biff admits.

“I don’t recall you being here; when was that?”

“We were around seven at the time and David invited me along during a midyear holiday.”

“Dad invited you?”

“I believe it had been your mother’s idea to invite me.

“I don’t recall you being there.”

“I must admit I spent most of my time trying to get into your pants.”

“Even at that age.”

“Yes obviously at an early age I knew what I wanted, it simply took half a lifetime to get it.”

Grady is more interested in the sale notice;

“Dad’s finances must be bad – he loved this house although mum thought it was too primitive. Dad would spend most of his time fishing; leaving mum to work over an old wood stove that leaked heat like a sieve, also the house is on tank water so showering was cold and quick.”

“Come on, we’ve only a couple of hours of sunlight left.”

Twenty minutes along a narrow winding road and across a cattle grid.

“We are home,” Biff says as the car bounces across the iron rails of the grid.

Grady’s eyes are all about;

He sees a row of Ficus Copiosa trees; a large grassy paddock towards the pristine forest and an old Queenslander homestead standing proudly on a slight but sensible rise above the river’s floodplain and what appears to be a kitchen garden. There are also a number of sheds also stockyards towards the river.

“Was your aunt a farmer?”

“No she inherited the property from her stepfather.”

“How come she was Ron’s half sister?”

“That was something the family never spoke about, not even after Christmas drinks when truths often come out. I believe Grandad was a naughty boy before he married my grandmother and the child was put up for adoption.”

Biff brings the vehicle to park beside a long white picket fence.

“What do you think of it?”

Grady’s eyes are following the long stair casing to a broad verandah framed with green trellising covered in flowering creeper.

“What do I think of it? I love it. If the inside is anything like the exterior it will be wonderful.”

“Come on, time to light the lamps and get a feed.”

As the boys alight and advance towards the house yard they are met by a young man dressed in the smallest pair of shorts possible, a battered hat and Williams’ riding boots; he is carrying an axe across his broad youthful shoulders.

“You’ve arrived then,” the young man states the obvious, his voice warm and inviting one to become lost in his smiling eyes.

“Hi Josh, yep home at last.”

“I’ve cut a supply of wood for the kitchen also the electric people came by saying there is a longer delay.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll be off then.”

The young man returns the axe to a small shed then waves as he departs.

“Who is Josh?”

“Josh Lawson, he lives with his family about a mile down the track; he’s been looking after the property for me; occasionally he uses the stock yards to hold his horse.”

Inside there is a rambling of rooms, some are modern others as they had been for close on eighty years but as sound as the day the house was erected. As for the kitchen, it is obvious modernity passed it by with its large wood range and galvanised sink, at least there is a refrigerator, empty of food and powerless because of storm damage to the powerlines.

“Mains water I hope,” Grady cautiously implies.

“The water comes from the river pumped up to a fifty thousand gallon header tank so there is plenty, there is also what is called the donkey that heats water for showering.”

“Donkey you say?”

“It’s a wood fired boiler but heats up quickly. I also apologise for the wood stove, once we get some cash together we can replace it with an electric unit, possibly we can go as far as installing an electric hot water system.

“Doesn’t matter although I don’t start at the new job for a couple of weeks and I’m a little short at the moment.”

“I have a little saved,” Biff says, “it should last a few weeks and I hear the local timber mill is hiring.”

“When are Trish and Adam arriving?”

“I’ve suggested they wait until the power is back on.”

“Seeing Adam is so young that’s probably the best idea. What’s the rest of the house like?”

“Come on, I’ll give you a tour.”

First door;

The room is empty of furnishing with bare floorboards; there is a wooden crate against a wall holding a number of paperbacks;

“Plenty of reading material,” Grady suggests.

“Bedroom number one of five,” Biff says.

“It’s big.”

“Wait until you see ours?”

Grady likes the inference and smiles.

Second door;

Similar to the first room.

Third door;

“This will be our bedroom; I’ve already furnished it of sorts, I am sorting out furnishing for one of the other rooms to be your bedroom.”

“Why my room?”

“We can’t have visitors getting the right idea.”

“Good idea – double bed,” Grady says as he inspects the room.

“Naturally.”

“Two cupboards.”

“One for you and one for me.”

“What about Trish and Adam,” Grady asks.

“I’m coming to that.”

Further along the passage there is a dividing door;

Biff opens the door onto a second short passage;

“There are two more bedrooms here and a living room, I thought it would be perfect for Trish, there is also a back door leading down to what is a small courtyard so plenty of privacy – and.”

“And what Biff?”

“She won’t have to listen to us; I guess you get my drift.”

“I do.”

Day one;

The day is given to exploring, decision making and suggestions with two trips to the bedroom to satisfy their newly found privacy and a trip into town for supplies. On the way into town they needed to pass by Josh Lawson’s family property when Biff has a spark of acumen, he brings the car to park by the Lawson’s fence line.

“You start at your new work Monday week.”

“True.”

“I didn’t tell you but I will also be working, I got the position at the timber mill.”

“That’s nothing new Biff; you always keep things locked away until the very last moment.”

“Sorrrrrry,”

“As well I understand you eh?”

“That will change – I promise.”

“Anyway what has starting my new job got to do with parking beside the Lawson’s property?”

“Simple – you will be working in town at a distance of approximately ten miles. The mill is at least twelve in the opposite direction.”

“I don’t need a geography lesson Biff.”

“It’s like this, one vehicle two directions; it won’t work.”

“I’m listening.”

Biff points into the long grass leading towards a sugar cane field at the rear of the property;

“What do you see?”

“I see an old Holden utility that has seen better days but what do you see?”

“I see a temporary answer to our conundrum.”

“And;”

“I know for a fact it was running until a couple of months back when it blew a head gasket or something, the Lawson’s bought a new truck and dumped the old utility in the paddock. I am sure they would give it to us to be rid of it and with your mechanical skill you would soon have it running.”

“Up there for thinking,” Grady taps a finger on Biff’s head.

“Down there for fun,” Biff says taking a handful of Grady’s crotch, “as for transport; someone has to do the thinking in this family.”

“Family you say Biff.”

“Yes family, you are all I have left now, brother and lover in one cute little package.”

“Don’t forget little Adam.”

“And of course Adam.”

“I wonder would we have got together if we knew about the family connection.” Grady asks.

“Probably not, besides our blood relationship remains unproven and the way everything has turned out, it isn’t an issue – or is it Grady?”

Grady hesitates – “no.”

“You are worrying me Grady, are you having second thoughts?”

“Never Biff – never.”

Biff remains a little uncertain;

“I hope not.”

“I may not have known how I felt before yet in hindsight I’ve always loved you.” Grady reaches across the cabin and kisses Biff’s neck. “I remember how I ached when I saw you naked during sports day and how I had to shower at home because my fucken’ dick wouldn’t go down.”

Biff laughs;

“What?”

“On the rare occasions I saw you naked I had to go to the shithouse and wank off. Come on let’s get the groceries, we are fogging the windscreen.”

Grady releases a sigh;

“There is something worrying you Grady.”

“I was thinking of mum and David.”

“You didn’t call him dad.”

“I can’t anymore.”

“What are you thinking Grady?

“What happens when the sex becomes stale, will it be like mum and David and will we bicker and go different ways? A year ago, no a month ago I could have copped losing you but now you are so deep inside of my head, I don’t think I would survive.”

“Grady when was the last time we argued, no I digress the last time we had an adverse disagreement as we argue all the time?”

“Never really.”

“Therefore why would we start now, also you are as deep inside my head as you suggest I am with you. Grady you have always been a worrier; you didn’t get that from Ron, he would say cast your future into the wind and enjoy the ride. True no one can tell with the future will bring or how fate will unfold, so accept what is and live each day as if is your last.”

Grady lightens and laughs;

“You stole that from a song.”

“I did – come on we’ve plenty to do before Trish arrives.”

It was a fortnight, two long dark weeks before the power was reconnected but the boys made the most of their time before Trish arrived bringing the sound of little feet on the linoleum and dirty nappies in the washroom sink. Other time was used by Grady as he worked on the Lawson’s old vehicle that had been kindly donated to clear their paddock. With a little help from Biff he had the old vehicle running and in time to start his new work.

With the vehicle running and fuelled Grady takes his new toy for a test drive and without thinking he is soon passing the Dowie holiday house. The property still has its sale sign and some young pseudo Picasso has scrawled fucken’ shit heap across the advertising billboard giving his work the tag ‘Poopy’.

It brings on a smile as Grady parks the car;

‘Poopy,’ he thinks;

‘More like fucken’ shitty.’

‘Holidaying here wasn’t all that bad.’

‘David did have a little fun in him back then and how he loved his fishing.’

A smile;

‘Like the time a crocodile surfaced close to where David had been fishing in the Johnstone River.’

‘I’d never seen him move so fast.’

‘I reckon if I checked David’s pants I would have discovered he had crapped himself.’

There is an old tyre on a rope hanging from the tall mango tree beside the house;

‘David made that for us as a swing.’

‘And Lewis broke his arm.’

Grady approaches and gently pushes the tyre.

The rope groans at the branch.

‘There was a third here when Lewis broke his arm.’

‘Who was it?’

Grady becomes animated;

‘Now I remember Biff was here with us that year.’

Near the gate the letterbox remains although almost from its hinge.

‘I wonder.’

Grady lifts the lid, it squeaks loudly from rust.

A large huntsman spider flees for cover causing Grady to gasp.

“I hate spiders!’ he all but screams.

‘Almost as much as snakes,’ he shudders with the thought.

Grady looks about, no one heard his phobic shriek.

The spider appears to be watching at a safe distance.

‘You stay there fella’.’

Grady cautiously reaches into the letterbox.

“Keys,” Grady says, remembering David left a set in case a tradesman needed entry.

‘It wouldn’t hurt to take a peek for all times sake.’

The key is tight in the lock through lack of use and constant humidity.

The door creaks as it opens with dust falling from the upper jamb;

A rush of stale air passes by;

Sunlight streams through the transom window with dust dancing about like a multitude stars in some distant galaxy.

The air has a damp musky odour; obviously David hadn’t been down for quite some time to air the house.

There is a bowl that once held flowers on the hall stand that Karen had displayed more than a year earlier.

In recollection the flowers were but weeds that Karen suggested gave a little brightness to the fading paintwork.

The crystal bowl, a Christmas present from Granny Olson holds a number of dry stalks and a rim of dirt deposited as the water evaporated;

The flower petals lay about the small table now faded with age and withered.

First room to the left;

That was Grady’s parent’s room;

The door is closed;

Grady doesn’t enter as he lacks desire to open a porthole onto what had eventuated.

To the right is his and Lewis’ shared room;

The door remains open and he enters.

Two single beds while Robyn slept in their parent’s room.

‘On the floor,’ Grady thinks.

‘Now I remember.’

‘Biff had a sleeping bag on the floor.’

A broad smile;

‘If only I had known then – but as well.’

He spies a pair of boy’s shorts on the bed.

‘I have been searching for them.’

Grady holds up the shorts;

He laughs;

‘In a year I’ve obviously outgrown them.’

Grady leaves the room.

At the end of the passage is the kitchen.

It remains as it was during their last family holiday together;

Some dishes remained unwashed in the sink.

Whatever the dishes once held had become food for cockroaches, or mice, as there are mice droppings on the bench also a cornflake packet with a mouse hole chewed through its side.

If there had been anything in the packet is lost from memory as now the packet is definitely empty.

The tap over the sink is dripping, leaving a smearing of rust coming from the old rusting water tank.

Grady remembers removing a dead possum from the tank.

It gives the water body, David had suggested.

He can hear David’s voice as they departed that final time.

Karen for Christ sake, leave the flaming dishes for next week, we have to leave now to avoid the heavy rain on the Gillies Highway.

‘We never did return.’

‘That was the week the arguments started in earnest.’

‘Firstly it was something simple.’

‘It was David’s erratic driving through the Gillies two hundred and sixty three bends in eleven miles of mostly unsurfaced road.’

‘Then there was something else,’

‘I was trying to sleep in the back seat with Robyn’s head on my lap when I heard Ron Bastian’s name mentioned.’

‘I didn’t take notice then but now I understand.’

There is a large pot on the draining board, it was his mother’s favourite for making stews.

‘Huh.’

‘Anything and everything went into that pot.’

‘David called them mystery stews, mum said they were casseroles.’

‘But it always tasted wonderful.’

Grady collects the pot.

“I’ll be having this,” he says.

Grady leaves the house although he will keep his memories as they were something David could never take away from him.

It is a slow walk back to the car while holding tightly to the cooking pot.

Memories are fleeting;

It is a sad affair to walk away from one’s past knowing it had gone forever.

Nevertheless he had a future with Biff that would certainly surpass even the happiest of childhood memories, besides his mother with Robyn are now but a short drive away in Tully and by all accounts Lewis would be visiting over Christmas.

‘Odd though,’ Grady thinks.

‘Lewis didn’t appear shocked when I told him I’m living with Biff, simply saying I knew the two of you would shack up at some time.’

‘I guess even Lewis had to grow up eventually.’

Grady is home he parks the car, he finds Biff mending the rail on the front stairs.

“Best make it safe,” Biff says, “as Trish and the little fella’ will be along tomorrow.”

“About time, I’m looking forward in seeing Adam again as he must have grown, especially with his second birthday not long away.

“You took your time?”

“I called into our holiday house, it still hasn’t sold.”

Grady holds up his mother’s pot.

“What’s that?”

“It is, or was my mother’s stew pot, it’s now mine.”

“I remember that pot, Karen cooked everything in it.”

“She did and while I was there I had memories of your visits and the time Lewis broke his arm on the tyre swing dad made.”

“Yes I remember the swing.”

“I also had memories of you sleeping on the floor with your sleeping bag,” Grady recalls.

“I lay awake half the night listening to your breathing while trying to time my own with yours.”

“I like that,” Grady admits.

“Who would have thought after all those years here we are living together.”

“I also like that.”

“Things to do,” Biff says.

“Yes and I start my new job tomorrow.”

“And me on Monday, how do you feel about starting the new job.”

“I called in after visiting our old house they appear to be a friendly crew, I think I’m going to like it.”

“I have a surprise for you.”

“Go on.”

“Right after you left the telephone rang.”

Grady appears puzzled;

“I didn’t think it was connected.”

“I didn’t either, so I answered the call and it was from the telephone people asking if we wish to continue the service.”

“Did you agree?”

“I did, if Trish is to live here with the little fellow, I thought it is a good idea.”

“Well said.”

Grady loses his animation while his eyes appear to be scanning the perimeter. They come to rest on the larger of the property’s paddocks that butts onto the forest behind.

“What are you thinking?” Biff asks.

“Have you ever ridden a horse?”

“Never.”

“I was thinking we could run a couple of horses, that paddock is big enough, possibly a milking cow for Adam.”

“Have you ever milked a cow?” Biff asks.

“No but it can’t be too difficult.”

“Grady the budding farmer eh.”

“Why not.”

Grady takes a deep breath then with a broad smile he drags Biff close with an arm about his shoulders;

Come on Lunch time and we better get ready for the kid’s arrival.”

Gary’s stories are about life for gay men in Australia’s past and present. Your emails to him are the only payment he receives. Email Gary to let him know you are reading: Conder 333 at Hotmail dot Com

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