Published: 8 Jun 2026

Thursday night at the Baker house;

Thursday evening and Biff is standing at Trish’s door, his hand hovering over a large highly polished brass button beside the door.

There is a house nameplate beside the brass button.

Wishart;

It is Trish’s mother’s maiden name as the house once belonged to the Wishart family. Eventually it passed to Trish’s parents under the provisions of inheritance as Margaret being the youngest and only daughter it was thought proper she should inherit the house.

Biff falters.

If he presses the button it will sound Westminster Chimes within the hallway.

After a reasonable delay the door will open and Trish will be there.

Then what?

Biff once again lifts his hand towards the button.

Before he can press that shiny button, the door opens.

“Trish.”

“Brian, if nothing else you are punctual.

“I do try.”

“Come in, would you like a beer?’

“I’m nervous enough but no thank you, it is best I don’t.”

“Why would you be nervous Brian?”

“I didn’t treat you very well.”

A baby is crying in an adjoining room.

“I better look in on Adam.”

“Can I see him?”

“I suppose so.”

Seeing his mother approach Adam stops crying, he is laying on his back playing with his toes and giggling.

“Could I hold him?”

Trish collects Adam and gently passes him to Biff;

“Cradle his head.”

Both Biff and Adam are laughing.

“He’s cute,” Biff says.

Trish takes Adam back and returns him to the cot;

“Who do you think he looks like?” Trish asks.

“Babies all look the same to me.”

Come on let Adam sleep.

Trish leads back to the living room.

They sit apart;

“Adam looks like you Brian,” Trish warmly suggests.

“If so why aren’t I registered as his father?”

“Actually Brian you are on Adam’s birth certificate as his father.”

“Even so you’ve haven’t said anything about me being Adam’s father to anyone.”

“I want it that way.”

“If I’m Adam’s father why not admit it?”

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like that beer as what I am about to say may not be what you may wish to hear.”

“Alright, to be sociable thank you.”

Trish fetches a beer, “glass?”

“No thank you – it will be difficult bringing up a child on your own, maybe we should marry?”

“Unlike some families Brian, my parents are supportive,” Trish pauses, “well supportive to a degree and no I don’t want to marry you.”

“Oh!”

“You appear relieved Brian.”

“I would you know.”

“You would do what Brian?”

“Marry you.”

“Yes you would marry me even if doing so would end up ruining both our lives and most likely one other. I must admit you would make a marvellous father but a poor husband. Besides you would spend a lifetime in regret, or eventually leave me for someone else.”

“Even so I would like to help in some way.”

“Possibly birthday presents may be welcomed and when Adam is old enough and wishes to know, them I will tell him about his father. Also I have made you and Grady his guardians if anything happens to me.”

Biff is confused;

“Why me and Grady?”

“Come on Brian you have been in love with Grady since you were boys and it is obvious Grady feels the same. It took me a while to understand why you dumped me but you could never pop that magic question with Grady in your head.”

Biff is blushing;

“What gives you that idea?’

“Women’s intuition and a lifetime of watching the two of you and no I haven’t suggested that to anyone but others have and when they do, I always discredit such talk and always will.”

A lump is forming in Biff’s throat as he is overtaken by an emotion he had not felt since his mother’s passing.

“I like being considered for Adam’s guardianship but let us hope it never comes to that – as for your suggestion.”

“No more Brian or we both may say something we may regret. As for you telling others about being Adam’s father, I would prefer you didn’t, not for the present anyway – Grady excepted of course, I would trust Grady with my life.”

“Can I take one more look at little Adam?”

By now Adam is peacefully sleeping, Biff searches the tiny face for likeness, possibly he sees his own reflection or is similarity from knowledge, even so there is a measure of pride developing and he departs light hearted but bemused.

It is Lewis who first noticed changes in his brother and Biff, even if the variants were subtle. After returning home from visiting Trish, Biff had ushered Grady to his room and closed the door. Sometime later they surfaced looking most content with the outcome. Over the following days both seemed to avoid excess contact, yet their attitude appeared to mellow towards each other. Lewis believed the change came about from Biff realising he is the father of Adam that being unknown to most but Lewis’ association with Trish’s sister Helen, meant he had privy to much of the going’s on in the Baker house, even if sworn to secrecy.

Saturday arvo’ and the final cricket match for the season. The game had been concisely won by the local team therefore celebration would be in order and what better way to celebrate than drinks at the Royal. Oddly for such an auspicious occasion very few of the team attended, that weekend happened to be the school sports award night and there were two weddings and a funeral, therefore most of the team’s members with family promised to celebrate another night.

The Royal crowd was usual, farmers to the right, cattle hands to the left and locals taking up the remaining space. The little clique representing the cricket team took a table away from the bar with Brownie big-noting himself once again by supplying free grog. There was one other punter who didn’t go amiss to Grady and that happened to be David who is with a couple of his shire mates at their usual spot at the far end of the bar where they could talk town business without interruption. Occasionally David would collect a glass of wine and transport it to the ladies lounge where his fancy lady sat alone.

Grady’s animosity towards his father wasn’t from deserting the family but for David’s continuous disdain towards Biff and before that Biff’s father Ron, who as far as Grady understood had never raised his bile against David. Now seated with his small clique Grady’s gaze is directed towards David, his thought being why his father couldn’t like Biff the hero of the cricket team, the once football hero and now father of little Adam, although that slice of information wasn’t unknown by David and possibly would remain so.

“You’re quiet,” Brownie says and gives Grady a poke in the ribs.

“I was thinking, Brownie.”

“Get a beer into ya’ that will take away any thought.”

“Possibly not this thought.”

There is a rowdy exchange from the cattlemen at the bar, followed by laughter then quiet. David lifts his head appearing annoyed by the interruption to his conversation and as he does he spies Grady.

David gives a slight nod which Grady ignores, then collecting his double scotch – without ice, David approaches.

Firstly David acknowledges Brownie.

“Good evening Mr. Dowie,” Brownie responds positively.

“Good game Michael, that last wicket of yours was a beauty.”

Brownie lifts his glass in appreciation.

David turns to Grady;

“Your game was a little average son,” he says.

“We won dad that is what matters, besides it’s a team effort. Some people don’t seem to realise that,” Grady’s dig is as much aimed at Brownie as it is towards his father.

“Have you had further consideration towards my offer?” David asks.

“I have and I’m more than happy where I am.”

David expresses disappointment and returns to his shire mates without acknowledging Biff’s presence.

“What was that about?” Biff asks.

“He wants me to work for him.”

“The pay would be better than an apprentice mechanic.”

“Money isn’t everything Biff, besides I will soon be qualified as a mechanic.”

“More beer girls,” Brownie suggests; collecting the empty jugs he advances to the bar where he is approached by David.

‘They appear to be best of mates,.’ Grady thinks.

Brownie returns with two full jugs;

“Greedy, that old man of yours is a great fellow.”

“For some people,” Grady says.

Michael Brown places down the jugs, “hey Biff there is a rumour going around that you have been sowing your spring seed.”

“You can’t believe everything you hear Brownie.”

“I do this one; I didn’t think you were inclined.”

“What does that mean?”

It is obvious Biff’s temperature is rising as his fists form showing white knuckles.

He holds back.

Brownie chickens out for furthering his remark besides none of the others appear remotely interested in Brownie’s suggestion.

“Drink up boys, plenty more where they came from.”

Biff directs his following words towards Brownie; “Fig jam,” he says.

“Fig jam?” Wayne Nelson questions, “Biff why Fig jam?”

“That’s what some of the lads are calling our mate here,” It is obvious Biff is referring to Michael Brown.

Brown had heard it spoken but never before to his face.

Nelson questions, “and what does Fig jam mean?”

Biff is smiling but his smile isn’t akin to tribute, “as an acronym it means fuck I’m good, just ask me.”

Brownie is laughing and in his usual nonchalant manner he replies; “well Biff I suppose you can’t please everyone, therefore it is best I please myself.”

“And that you do most adequately.”

As a celebration the night is a failure while the only life of the party being Brownie’s continuous banter and flow of free beer. Eventually Biff calls it quits and gives Grady a nod. “What do you reckon,” he says while the others are lost in conversation. “I reckon so,” Grady agrees.

Biff finishes his glass and stands;

“Right-o you lot, it has been a long day and I need a little shut-eye.”

A few head nods about the table but nothing is said.

“Hang on, I’ll join you,” Grady says.

As the boys depart Brownie’s eyes are fixed on Biff.

‘There is torment in those eyes.’ Grady thinks as he turns.

‘And it goes way back.’

Once outside Grady has a question for Biff;

“I know I’ve asked before but what is the grief between you and Brownie?”

“You have noticed?”

“Anyone with half a brain can’t do anything else but notice.”

“It goes way back and has a lot to do with Bruce Menzies.”

“There’s that name again.”

Grady is waiting for clarification but doesn’t force the issue as if you push Biff he simply shuts down.

Crossing the road the two are lost in thought and almost run down, a head pokes out of the sedan’s window;

“Hey Biff Bastian watch the fucken’ road you flaming goose.”

“Aw’ go fuck yourself Rogers,” Biff shouts and gives the bird.

With horn blasting and much yahooing the car is gone into the night.

“That was close,” Grady admits while waiting for Biff to return to their conversation on Michael Brown and Bruce Menzies.

In the darkness towards the railway station Biff again finds voice but had gone on from the subject.

“Would you consider working for David?”

“Never, it would be like surrendering to the enemy.”

“You do realise what it is he holds against me?”

“It is something to do with stealing mum away from Ron.”

“It is more than that. David believed you are not his son and Ron is your father, making me your half brother.”

“You have sorta’ made that suggestion before but as quickly you discredited it.”

“That’s his main gripe and probably why he has always treated you a little different than the others.”

Ow! If it is true it would make any relationship between us a little incestuous.”

“We’re not marrying for kids, besides your mother once told Ron by her calculations we aren’t brothers. Even if we were it wouldn’t matter.”

“Marrying?”

“You know what I mean.”

“What do you believe Biff, are we half brothers?”

“Going by what your mother told Ron I would say not, although there isn’t any way of telling therefore my bet is on your mother’s recollection and not that of David.”

“We don’t look anything alike.”

“The problem Grady is you are more like your mother than David as is Lewis, so the gene strength appears to be with Karen’s side of the family and not David.”

“Umm.”

“Does that satisfy you?”

“Yes although it doesn’t answer why you and Brownie have bad blood.”

They walk on;

The night’s sky is clear while the air is tepid. It had been raining earlier in the day fortunately holding off until after the cricket and the ground is damp underfoot as they cross over the tracks. Off in the distance a steam engine is powering up for the early morning goods to Mr. Mulligan.

“I always wanted to be an engine driver,” Biff says.

“You never said.”

“I suppose there are a lot of things we never say, Ron was once a fettler after he gave up cattle work.”

“Why did he go and work at the mill?”

“After mum died he had to think of me and fettling meant he would be away from town for days at a time, therefore he took the foreman’s job at the mill and rented in town so we could be together, otherwise he would have had to put me into board but Ron said I was his responsibility and he would not let anyone else make decisions for me.”

“I miss Ron.” Grady says.

“He was an easy man to like and never a day goes by without thinking about him.”

They approach Borland Street and close to Biff’s old house.

Biff exhales a gentle sigh, “I also miss living here.”

“Biff?”

“Yea?”

“You still haven’t said why the bad blood between you and Brownie.”

“There is one thing about you Grady you are persistent and if that is a good quality is debatable.”

Gary’s stories are about life for gay men in Australia’s past and present. Your emails to him are the only payment he receives. Email Gary to let him know you are reading: Conder 333 at Hotmail dot Com

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