Devyn’s Struggle II
Published: 28 Sep 2026
Devyn thought now that the majority of his school activities were behind him, that things would slow down. He was wrong about that. The school week was over before he knew it. He had not been able to have a deep conversation with Charlie. They had talked, but not about anything important.
He had agreed to a tutoring session for Saturday as they had a major Math exam coming up the next week. He made it a point to get Randy to agree to be there along with Julie. He thought he should give the two of them a chance to talk.
“So, the camping trip isn’t happening?” Travis asked Devyn.
“Sorry, not this weekend,” Devyn told him. Devyn had actually forgotten they had talked about going camping this weekend. He felt bad that he had forgotten.
“You said you would have more time now.” Travis was signing fast and it was clear that he was upset.
“Sorry, we’ve got a big test next week,” Devyn tried to explain but Travis wasn’t having it. He stomped off. Devyn let out a sigh. He hated letting Travis down. He was going to have to set aside some time for the younger boy.
Devyn was surprised on Saturday by the number of kids that showed up for the tutoring session. He had expected it to just be Danny, Kevin, Julie, Randy, Cody, and a couple of others. It, however, seemed like it was almost the whole class. Devyn thought the only ones that were not there were Ted and Dale.
Joe liked seeing how popular Devyn had become. It was quite different from how the boy’s school year had started out. Joe had been concerned that once Devyn came out as gay, that he would have few friends. Joe was glad he had been wrong about that. Maybe times had changed from when he was a teenager. Maybe Devyn would not face quite the same obstacles.
Joe could see that the study session was becoming more. He offered to fire up the grill and got a definite cry of appreciation from the teenagers. He then placed a call to Lee to bring out more food and soft drinks. He also encouraged Lee to swing by and see if Sam and Charlie might want to help him do the shopping and he could give them a ride out.
“What do I look like a door dash slash taxi driver?” Lee had mockingly protested.
“You’re supposed to protect and serve, so start serving,” Joe quipped.
Lee might have grumbled about being the delivery driver for food, drinks and the other two teenagers, but he had followed through. “Looks like he’s turned into mister popular,” Lee commented. He had delivered the food, the sodas, and other snacks. He was now helping Joe with the grill. The burgers and hot dogs were starting to sizzle.
“It is great that he is,” Joe said. He could hear the laughter coming from inside the house. The study session had ended, and it sounded like the party was starting there.
“He’s a lot more popular than I was in school,” Lee said. He took a drink from the bottle of beer he had snagged from the fridge.
“Me too,” Joe added.
“It’s good to see,” Lee stated. “He deserves it. He’s changed a whole lot from the scrawny scared kid you brought home.”
Joe had to agree with that. Devyn had grown and matured. He had turned into a mostly confident teenager. He was definitely a good friend to most of those kids laughing and joking.
“Is the second batch about done?” Devyn asked, coming over to the grill with an empty tray. “They devoured that first batch in minutes.”
“Just about,” Joe said.
Devyn looked at Lee. “Thanks for bringing the food and Sam and Charlie.”
“Well don’t get used to it,” Lee said. “This was a one time deal.”
Joe’s lips twitched but he said nothing. He knew if he asked, Lee would do it again.
“Oh, and here is the receipt for all that stuff.” Lee pulled the receipt from his shirt pocket. He handed it to Devyn.
Devyn took the store receipt. He was a bit surprised by the total. “Um, I, um don’t have this much cash.”
“I’ll take a check,” Lee said. His blue eyes sparkled with teasing.
Joe snatched the receipt from Devyn’s fingers. “I’ll take care of it.”
Devyn looked a bit sheepish. “Thanks. I…um…”
“It isn’t a big deal,” Joe said. “it’s nice having your friends out.
Devyn took back the tray of freshly grilled burgers and hot dogs. He figured this batch would not last long either.
Devyn wanted some time to talk to Charlie. They had not had that chance for a while. Yes, they had texted and talked a bit on the phone, but they felt to Devyn like there was something separating them. He would have liked to get Charlie alone, but there was little chance of that with so many kids there.
Charlie had been over at Sam’s that afternoon. He had been about to come out to Sam, and that was when Lee had knocked on the door. Sam had jumped at the chance to go to Devyn’s. Charlie had wanted to go too, but he wanted it to be time alone with Devyn. He didn’t want to be with all these kids around.
Charlie watched Devyn talking, laughing, and just having fun with all of the kids. In a way it made Charlie feel even more alone. Charlie had known most of those kids all through school, and he was nowhere as popular with them as Devyn was. Devyn had not even been in school for two full years yet, and he had become mister popular now. Charlie had to give Devyn credit though. It was not without effort. Devyn’s school year had been hell in the beginning, but his status had definitely changed.
Charlie watched how easy it was for Devyn to talk to everyone. It seemed that Devyn was able to talk to everyone but him. He would like to just stay at Devyn’s after everyone left. He just wasn’t sure how to make that happen without it seeming too obvious. He knew if he stayed, then Sam would want to as well.
Charlie watched Devyn talking to Julie, then Danny and Randy. Charlie felt a surge of jealousy when Randy touched Devyn. The two hottest guys in school and there they were side by side laughing and Randy playfully grabbing Devyn around the shoulders. There had been times Charlie had jerk-off fantasies about Randy. Those had morphed from Randy to Devyn.
Charlie quietly slipped from the room. If he stayed there, he was only going to feel more out of place. Even Sam was fitting in with everyone. Normally Charlie could count on Sam to support him, but this time Sam wouldn’t even know what Charlie needed. Hell Charlie wasn’t sure of that himself.
Maybe he just needed to get some air. Maybe he needed to just go ahead and go home. Charlie wondered if Lee had left yet. Maybe he could get a ride back into town.
Charlie did not see Lee’s car in the driveway. It figured. He let out a sigh. Then he felt someone watching him. Charlie turned to see Joe sitting on the porch swing.
Joe had heard Charlie’s sigh. He had also picked up on some tension in the way Charlie was standing. “Everything alright, Charlie?” He asked.
“Um, yeah, just, um, getting some air.”
Joe thought it looked like Charlie needed more than just air. The boy’s shoulders were tight, and he seemed to have some extra tension in his stance.
“I was just about to head out to the barn to check on some calves,” Joe said. He got up from the porch swing. “How about you walk along. I might need a hand.”
“Um…well sure,” Charlie agreed.
Charlie followed Joe down the porch steps. He looked out across the yard and then across the stream that ran through the pasture. The view was more than just nice to look at. With the vivid pinks and purples of the setting sun, it was a striking landscape.
They walked in silence for a bit before Joe spoke. “What’s on your mind? It seems like something is eating at you.”
Charlie sighed. “Am I that obvious?” Charlie wondered who else noticed. Had Sam? Had any of the other kids noticed?
“I’m kind of observant,” Joe said. “Plus, you know I’ve been through some of this stuff before. Unbelievably, I was once a teenage boy.”
Charlie let out a short laugh. He sometimes didn’t think about Joe or his folks actually being teenagers. “That is true. Did you have a boyfriend when you were my age?”
Naturally, Joe thought of Dan. “I did have, um, a special friend when I was your age.”
“Did you and he, um, I mean could you be together?” Charlie wasn’t sure what words to use.
They had reached the barn by now and Joe pulled open the door. Charlie stepped inside and hit the switch on the lights. He knew where it was from his other times in the barn with Devyn.
“Neither of us were out then,” Joe said. “That made it hard for us. In some ways it can be fun sneaking around and having a secret relationship, but it can also make it restrictive.”
Charlie looked at the calves and then back at Joe. “I think Devyn is finding our, um, relationship, ah, restrictive.”
“Have you and Devyn talked about it?” Joe asked.
“Sort of,” Charlie’s voice trailed off for a few seconds. He looked down at the floor of the barn. “Not really. I think it bothers him though. I think, I think…” Charlie was afraid that saying the words would make them real. If he said that he believed Devyn was dumping him for Brent, then it would be true. If he said nothing, he felt it would keep that from coming true.
“It sounds like you two need to talk this out,” Joe said. “Letting it eat away at you isn’t doing any good.
“I know,” Charlie said. “We should. It just seems like…like…”
“That you can’t find the time, or the alone time you need,” Joe supplied. He knew that Devyn wanted to talk to Charlie. It seemed both boys needed to clear the air and sort out their feelings and relationship.
Charlie nodded. He was also afraid to find out that Devyn was wanting to be back with Brent. “He’s never alone at school,” Charlie said. “We just haven’t had any time to be alone and…um…talk. Not since that stupid play.” Charlie regretted the words. The play wasn’t stupid. He was the one that was stupid. “I didn’t mean it like…like it sounded.”
“It bothered you that Devyn went with Brent to that party after the play?” Joe was sure that was it. It had to be hard for Charlie seeing Devyn with another boy.
Charlie nodded. “I…Ur…um…saw a video of them. Stacy posted it. They were dancing and laughing and they looked…they looked…” Charlie’s words trailed off.
“They looked like boyfriends,” Joe supplied. His voice was gentle as he could see the hurt in Charlie’s eyes.
Charlie’s blue eyes met Joe’s. “Is that what they are, boyfriends?”
“They are friends,” Joe said. “They were boyfriends.”
“Do you think, I mean, do they belong together? Does Devyn love him?”
“I don’t know about belonging together,” Joe said. “That sort of thing is for the movies or a daytime soap. Does Devyn love him…well…Devyn has strong feelings where Brent is concerned. He also has strong feelings where you are concerned. You need to talk to him.”
Charlie blurted out the words. He knew that was the only way he’d be able to say them. If he thought about them, then he’d not voice them. “Is he, is he going to dump me for Brent?”
“I don’t think anyone is being dumped,” Joe said. “I do think you should talk to Devyn.”
“They looked good together dancing and laughing and all,” Charlie said. “When Devyn and I are together, Devyn’s always a little tense. He didn’t seem to have that with Brent.”
Joe leaned against the big round bail of hay. He looked at Charlie and could see the fear in the blonde boy’s blue eyes. “I’m sure it looked that way. Devyn had no concerns about Brent being outed. The boy was out just because of who it was. It was also easier for Brent as he didn’t have to worry about seeing any of the folks around here again. He could be free to just be himself.”
“I think that’s our biggest problem,” Charlie said. “I mean me not being out. I’m not ready for that.”
“It is a big step,” Joe admitted. “I actually warned Devyn about being openly gay. I had it damn hard and I didn’t want that for him.”
“He, um, had it rough at the beginning of the school year,” Charlie admitted. He wondered if he was telling Joe something that he shouldn’t. Charlie wasn’t sure that Devyn had told Joe about the bullying.
“He mentioned that a little, but I’m sure it was worse than what he told me.”
Charlie guessed that Joe was right about that. Devyn wasn’t the kind of guy to complain. He was also the type that wanted to take care of things himself. “It was a bit rough,” Charlie finally admitted. “It is one of the reasons I, um, haven’t told anyone. My brother, um, he’s…um…a prick.”
“I’d say that is a true statement,” Joe said.
“He’s never going to be alright with it,” Charlie admitted. It felt nice to tell someone else about Howard.
Some folks are like that,” Joe said.
Charlie looked down at the barn floor. He moved a piece of straw around with the toe of his shoe. “I’m not sure my folks will either.”
Joe moved a little closer and placed a comforting hand on Charlie’s shoulder. “I think they will. They might be surprised, but they will accept you.”
Charlie looked up. His blue eyes met Joe’s. “Do you really think so?”
“I do,” Joe said. “I’ve known your mom a long time. She’s going to be surprised, but in the end, she loves you and that is what matters.”
“But my dad…”
“Him I don’t know as well, but he’s always been fine with me.”
“At our family reunion last summer, there were…um…comments…you know jokes and bad comments. Dad didn’t make them, but he laughed along with the others.”
“That’s a bit disappointing,” Joe said.
“I know,” Charlie said. “It just isn’t easy to even think about how they might react. Devyn told me about his parents kicking him out when they found him and Brent together. I, I wouldn’t know what to do.”
Joe gave Charlie’s shoulder a squeeze. “I do not see your folks acting like Devyn’s did.”
“But they might, they could. I mean Howard, my brother, is such, such a homophobe. It makes me sick. If my dad reacted just partially the way he does…it would be bad.”
“Are you seriously considering coming out to them?” Joe asked.
Charlie shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know…not really. I did think of telling Sam. Hell, I’ve started to tell him, like a dozen times.”
“I think Sam’s a good guy,” Joe said. “At least good at managing this kind of news. You should start by telling him.”
“I know,” Charlie sighed. “It is just hard.”
“I know,” Joe said. “I started by telling my best friend. It took me a few tries to get the words out, but once I did it was like this huge boulder had been removed.
How did he react?” Charlie asked.
Joe smiled. “He just asked me to hand him another beer. It was such a non-event. I made it into way more than it needed to be.”
“Sam might be like that,” Charlie admitted. “He was totally fine with Devyn when he came out. I know it would make things easier for both of us if Sam knew. It is just…just…”
“Are you worried that Sam might tell someone, and then it gets back to your folks?” Joe did not see Sam as the kind of guy to break a confidence from his best friend, but Joe could understand Charlie’s fear. The fear was not based on the rational part of the mind.
Charlie shrugged his shoulders. “That is my biggest fear. What if they hate me? What if they toss me out.”
“Look Charlie,” Joe began. “I truly do not believe your folks would do that. They are not like Devyn’s parents.” Joe could see the protest starting to form on Charlie’s lips. “But” Joe said before Charlie could speak. “But if they did, it isn’t like you don’t have somewhere to go. This place is always here for you.” Joe’s eyes looked into Charlie’s. “I am here for you.”
Charlie could see the sincerity in Joe’s eyes. He could hear the commitment in Joe’s words. “But if Devyn and I…”
Joe did not let Charlie finish that thought. “My word to be there for you is not contingent on you and Devyn being boyfriends. This is between you and me and if, if you need me, then I’ll be there for you.”
Charlie had no doubt that Joe meant every word and that Joe would stand behind those words. The lump in Charlie’s throat grew. He could feel a burning of tears in the corners of his eyes. He couldn’t get the words of thanks out, so he threw his arms around Joe and buried his face in Joe’s powerful chest. Then he felt Joe’s arms wrap around him. It took several moments but he finally managed to say “Thanks.”
“Sure, Charlie.” Joe held the teenager until the boy’s arms loosened and then he let him step back.
“I’m not usually such, such a…um…mess.” Charlie felt stupid for how he was acting.
“I understand Charlie,” Joe said. “I’ve been there.”
“Um, will you tell Devyn, um about this? I mean that we talked and all.”
Joe smiled. “no. Devyn doesn’t need to know about this. What we talked about is just between us.” Joe paused and studied the boy for a moment. “But the two of you do need to talk.”
Charlie nodded. “I know. We just can’t find the time.”
“So, stay here tonight and talk to him.”
“I thought about that, but since Lee brought us out and all, I don’t know how to do that without Sam also staying.”
“Good point,” Joe said. He thought for a moment. “Well, if you don’t mind hanging out here, I think I can arrange things.”
“Really?” Charlie asked.
“Yes. Just check with your mom and make sure it is alright.”
Charlie pulled his phone from his pocket and quickly called home. It only took him a few moments to get permission.
Once Charlie had permission to stay, Joe headed towards the barn door. “Just hang out here for a bit. I’ll see what I can do to get you and Devyn alone.”
“Um, thanks Joe.” Charlie realized as Joe was about to step out of the barn door that the man had not done any chores. “Um, Joe, don’t you need to take care of the calves?”
Joe glanced over at the calves. “They look fine to me.” He pulled the barn door closed behind him.
Charlie realized the man had not needed to do chores. It had just been an excuse for them to be alone and to talk. Charlie wondered why he could not have Joe as a big brother. That would be so much better than Howard.
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