Devyn’s Struggle II
Published: 14 Sep 2026
Charlie looked at his phone and found no new messages from Devyn. He was sure that if he had checked it once, he had checked it a thousand times. Each time he had looked and found no new message, he got more frustrated. He didn’t understand why Devyn could not shoot him a quick message. Charlie could not understand the lack of response. Yes, he knew Devyn was spending time with Brent. Whenever Charlie thought of Devyn and Brent spending time together, Charlie’s stomach began flipping over.
Charlie slid his phone back into his pocket. He knew he could call Devyn, but he thought he would just come across as a jealous idiot. Charlie knew that was not too far from the truth. He was jealous of Brent. He was jealous of how hot the guy was. Charlie had hoped the guy was not as attractive in person as he had been in the one photo Charlie had seen, but he was even more attractive.
Charlie felt his phone starting to vibrate. He nearly tore the pocket out of his pants trying to get it out. His finger tapped the answer button before the name on the contact registered. “Hey,” he said.
“Are you doing alright?” Heather asked.
Charlie knew Heather was concerned about him. They had seen Devyn and Brent leave the auditorium after the play. Charlie knew that meant that Brent was going with Devyn to Stacy’s party. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Charlie tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice, but was not successful.
There was a brief silence before Heather spoke. “Have you talked to Devyn?”
“I messaged him,” Charlie said.
Heather had seen the hurt in Charlie’s eyes when they had seen Devyn and Brent leave in Devyn’s truck. Then Heather had seen the pictures that Stacy was posting. She was hoping Charlie had not seen them. Of course, it was probably only a matter of time before he did.
“He…um…hasn’t sent anything back,” Charlie admitted. It hurt Charlie to say those words aloud.
“I’m sure he’s busy,” Heather stated.
“Yeah, I’m sure he is.” Charlie knew Devyn was busy. The problem for Charlie was that Devyn was busy with Brent and not him.
“You should tell him how you feel,” Heather said. “I know seeing him with the other boy hurt you.”
Charlie cleared his throat. He tried to cover the hurt. “It’s no big deal.”
Heather knew that was not true. She had seen the hurt in Charlie’s eyes, and he had been very silent on their walk to her house. “I’m sure they just went as friends.” Heather wasn’t so sure, though. The pictures that Stacy posted of Devyn and Brent made them look much more than just friends. She wished Stacy had not posted them so publicly. She hoped the boys who had been giving Devyn a tough time most of the year would not see them. Heather was sure that the pictures would just be extra motivation to torment him more.
“Right, just friends,” Charlie said. “They broke up a long time ago.”
“Right,” Heather said. Although Heather did not believe the pictures looked like two guys who were broken up.
“Devyn probably only took him to the party to be…um…you know nice.” Charlie had been telling himself that, but was not fully believing it.
“Devyn is a sweet guy,” Heather said. “I can see him doing that.”
“I mean, it would be rude to go to the party and leave Brent out…right?” Charlie wanted some confirmation that he was right.
“That’s true. He was here visiting, so he had to take him,” Heather said. She did believe that. Devyn wouldn’t go off and leave a friend out. Of course, he had left Charlie out. “You know if you two were…um…you know, public he’d have asked you to go.”
That was also a thought that Charlie had. If he had been out, then Devyn might have asked him. If they were not hiding their relationship, then maybe Brent would not have even visited. “I know. I just…well…”
“I know it’s hard,” Heather said.
“If…it…well if Howard wasn’t such…such a…”
“Bully, dick head…ass hole.” Heather wasn’t sure how far she should go with the name calling. Howard was Charlie’s brother after all.
“He’s all of that,” Charlie sighed and dropped down on his bed.
“You’re worried more about your family than your friends, aren’t you?” Heather had picked up on that from the things Charlie had said.
“The girls will be fine,” Charlie said. He was sure that Stacy and Julie would not care that much. They would accept him just like they had accepted Devyn.
“Do you think Sam will have a problem?” Heather asked.
“You know, I’ve started to tell him a bunch of times. It just seems like every time I get interrupted and then…and then I lose my nerve.” Devyn had been telling Charlie that Sam would be fine with it. Charlie had some doubts, though. Sam had been fine with Devyn, but Devyn had not known Sam for a long time. Sam and Charlie were best friends. It would be different if Sam knew that Charlie was gay. It would change their friendship. At least, that was the fear that Charlie had.
“It has to be hard for you,” Heather said sympathetically.
“I know I just need to…um…”
“Grow a pair and man up,” Heather giggled a bit.
Charlie laughed. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
“So do it,” Heather said. “Just set a date and do it.”
Maybe that was what he needed to do. Before, it had always been a spontaneous decision. Maybe if he set a date and made sure there were no interruptions, then maybe he could just tell Sam. Charlie bit his lower lip, wondering how Sam knowing that his best friend was gay would change their friendship. Would Sam be as fine with Charlie as he had been and is with Devyn? Would Sam start second-guessing every comment and every physical interaction?
“Are you there?” Heather asked. The silence had drawn out, and she thought that maybe the call was fixing to be dropped.
“Yes. I was thinking. You’re right. I should set a date.” Charlie did not want to do it during the school week. It would make it too stressful. Maybe next weekend. He also needed to be alone with Sam when he told him. That was hard to do these days at his house. Charlie never knew when his brother would show up.
“So, when?” Heather asked.
“I don’t know,” Charlie said.
“It should be soon,” she said.
“Yeah, I know, but it needs to be…well…at the right place.” Charlie wondered if maybe they could talk at Sam’s house. Maybe Saturday afternoon.
“Don’t do it at school,” she warned.
Charlie sighed. “Yeah, I know that.” He paused before speaking again. “Why do you want me to do this so badly?”
“I saw how it hurt you last night when you saw him with that other boy,” she said.
“Well, telling Sam isn’t going to do anything about Devyn and Brent,” Charlie said.
“Maybe not in the short term, but in the long term it might,” she said. “If you tell Sam, then that is one step closer to being out.”
“Yeah, but I’m not…” Charlie did not get to finish. Heather cut off his words.
“One small step leads to bigger steps,” she said. “Maybe when you see things are fine between you and Sam, then you can relax about telling others.”
Charlie didn’t know if he’d ever be ready to tell his folks or his brother. With Howard’s attitude, there would be no chance for the two of them to have any kind of relationship.
“The thing is, Charlie,” Heather said, “if you don’t start making progress, you are going to lose Devyn.”
Charlie felt like he had been punched in the gut. “You…you think so.”
“Devyn cares about you,” she said. “I saw that in the way he looked at you at homecoming. He wanted to be there with you. He wanted to dance with you and not all those girls.”
Charlie had wanted that too. He wanted to have Devyn’s arms around him and to have Devyn in his arms. He had wanted to kiss Devyn that night. He had not minded the kiss with Heather, but Devyn was the one he wanted to be kissing.
“It was even obvious at the football game. Devyn wants you, but he doesn’t want to hide. He wants to be open.”
“I know,” Charlie said. “He doesn’t pressure me, but I know being so secretive is causing tension between us. I’m afraid all the time someone will figure it out.”
“It has to be rough for you,” she said softly.
“It is,” Charlie admitted. “I never thought it would be this hard. I thought we could be…um…you know, and that would be enough.”
“So, you thought you could just be secretive forever?” Heather thought it was obvious that it would not work.
“I don’t know,” Charlie sighed. “If it just wasn’t so wrong, you know, for us.”
“It isn’t wrong,” Heather stated. “There is nothing wrong with you or Devyn.”
“Thanks,” Charlie said. “I didn’t mean…”
“I think you did,” she said. “The way the school year started with all those jerks tormenting Devyn. It set the tone for everyone to think it was wrong to be gay. I, for one, am so glad that Julie and Stacy’s plan worked to get everyone to see just how wrong it is. It’s amazing that so many boys had the courage to get out on that dance floor at Homecoming.
Charlie had to agree. It had been shocking. Charlie would have never thought in a hundred years that so many guys would be open to dancing together at a school dance. Maybe times were changing a little. Charlie had learned from Joe during their afternoon of self-defense lessons that it had been harder on Joe than on Devyn. Charlie wondered if he could figure out a way to get into another lesson and maybe talk things over with Joe. If anyone understood, it would be him. “Were you in on that plan with Julie and Stacy?” Charlie was curious now. Had Heather been more involved behind the scenes than he had ever guessed?
“I did what I could,” Heather said. “Which wasn’t much. I’m not popular like those two.”
“I think you underestimate yourself,” Charlie said.
“Thanks,” she said softly.
“You’re a great friend,” Charlie added.
“Thanks,” she said. “As your friend, decide when you are going to tell Sam and don’t chicken out.”
Charlie chuckled. “I will,” he said. “I’ll do it soon.”
“You know this sucks for me,” she said.
“What?” Charlie was confused by that statement.
“I’m going to lose my boyfriend,” she said. “I kind of like being able to go to these events with you.”
Charlie felt a little guilty then. He liked Heather and had fun with her, but he didn’t want to date her. “I’m just telling Sam,” Charlie said. “It won’t really change…”
“It will,” Heather said. “You will see just how easy it will be, and that will make it easier for you to just come out.”
Charlie doubted that. Heather had no idea how big a bigot his brother was. Plus, Charlie was not ready to tell his parents. He wasn’t sure his dad and Mom would be much more accepting than Howard. “I’m just telling Sam. I’m not planning on coming out to everyone.”
“One small step and then the next step will be easier,” she said.
“Even if I did, I’d still want you to go to school stuff with me.”
Heather giggled. “What with you and your boyfriend?”
“Sure,” Charlie answered. “Devyn won’t mind. He likes you.”
“Well, that would be kind of interesting. Maybe we could go to Prom as a three-some. I’d have two of the hottest boys in school as my dates.”
“Devyn’s hot,” Charlie said. “I’m just…”
“You’re hot too,” she said. “Stop putting yourself down.”
“Thanks,” Charlie said. “We’d both be honored to be your dates.” Charlie knew that the three of them going to prom was just a crazy fantasy.
“Thanks,” she said. “You’re sweet.” She paused, then, thinking of the scene when she walked into prom on the arms of the two hot boys. She giggled at the idea.
“What’s so funny?”
“Everyone will think I’m a big slut or something.” Heather giggled again. It might almost be fun to make everyone wonder what was going on with the three of them. She thought that it would be kind of fun making everyone guess.
“They will not,” Charlie stated emphatically. “I’ll punch anyone that calls you that.”
“My knight in a shining tuxedo,” she said.
“I mean it,” he said.
Heather felt a small flip in her stomach. It was nice having a boy stating he’d fight for her. If only Charlie weren’t gay. He would be a nice boy to date. “Let me know when you set a date,” she said. “I will hold you to it.”
“Um…sure,” Charlie said.
They talked a little more about school and homework assignments and then ended the call. Charlie liked having a friend like Heather. She was easy to talk to and so understanding. He was glad she had figured him out. It did make it easier for her to know. Now he just needed to figure out when to tell Sam.
Charlie looked at his messages to Devyn. The last one had said that Devyn was going out to do chores. Charlie wondered if Brent had helped him with those chores. Charlie started another message but wasn’t sure what to say. He wondered if Brent had left yet. It was late, so he was sure he had. Maybe he should just call Devyn. It would be nice to hear that sexy voice. He just didn’t want to be that clingy boyfriend. Charlie dropped his phone on the bed without sending a message. Maybe he needed to give Devyn space to figure things out. Or maybe he needed to keep pushing for a relationship with him. Charlie did not know. How could he push Devyn for more when he, Charlie, wasn’t able to give more?
Charlie grabbed back up his phone. He typed out a message to Sam and hit send. “What you got going on this week? I need to talk about something.” There, he had started the ball moving. He’d tell Sam, and that would show Devyn that he was committed to their relationship.
Devyn was attempting to catch up on his homework. He had gotten behind with all of the school activities. It had not left him much time for doing his homework. None of his assignments were late, but the due dates were approaching. He did not want to wait until the last minute like Sam tended to do. The problem was that he was not able to concentrate. He had started with the math homework, but had put that aside. He had tried reading the English assignment but found himself re-reading the same page and still not knowing what he had read. He slammed the book closed and tossed it aside.
“Everything alright?” Joe asked. He had been watching the teenager from the doorway of Devyn’s room. Joe had just finished tucking Travis in for the night.
“Yes, no…not really.”
Joe stepped into the room. “It was a big weekend,” he said. Joe’s eyes looked at the mess of books and notepads on the bed. “Is any of that due tomorrow?” Joe waved his hand at the schoolbooks.
“No,” Devyn responded.
Joe sat on the edge of the bed. “Then just let that stuff go for now. It was a big weekend.”
Devyn sighed. “It was.”
“Maybe more emotional than you expected?” Joe asked.
“I am not sure what I expected,” Devyn admitted. “I knew it would be a bit emotional.”
“I’m guessing you are just as confused as ever,” Joe said. Joe saw the question in Devyn’s eyes. “Ethan told me what he walked into in the kitchen. Don’t be mad at him. He was just concerned and thought I should know.”
“It was…um…a bit of a surprise. I…I thought that, well, I had dealt with some of those feelings…”
“Those feelings from that first love, especially when it was as intense as yours and Brent’s, never really go away.”
Devyn had to agree that it was true. He had never stopped caring for Brent, and he wasn’t sure how he felt now. “I care about him. I always will.”
“That is perfectly fine,” Joe said.
Devyn looked down and then up into Joe’s warm blue eyes. “I even still love him,” Devyn admitted.
“I suspected that,” Joe said. “I’ve seen the way you look at him and how concerned you were when he was in the hospital.”
“I just don’t know…um…if I’m in love with him.”
“That is hard to figure out sometimes,” Joe said.
“If there wasn’t Charlie, then…”
“But there is Charlie,” Joe said. “Even if you hadn’t started a relationship with him, you still might not be clear about your feelings for Brent.”
Devyn leaned his head back against the headboard of the bed. “What the hell do I do?”
“Have you talked to Charlie this weekend?” Joe asked. “I mean, other than at the play?”
“Just a few texts,” Devyn said. “I’ve…um…been kind of, well, not sure what to say to him. I mean, do I tell him how…how confused I am?”
“I’m sure it is hard to talk to your current boyfriend about your previous boyfriend,” Joe said. “You do consider Charlie your boyfriend, right?” Joe knew from his brief talks with Charlie that Charlie thought of Devyn as a boyfriend. Joe was fairly certain that Charlie was in love with Devyn. Joe had picked up on that during their afternoon self-defense lesson.
“I do,” Devyn said. “I think he does too. Before this stuff with Brent, you know, seeing him again, I thought about telling Charlie how I felt, but something held me back.” Devyn paused, trying to find the right words. “It just didn’t feel right to say it if we couldn’t be open about it. He’s not ready to be out.” Devyn then added what had been nagging at him for some time. “I’m not sure he’ll ever get to that point.”
“I know that is frustrating for you,” Joe said. “I can remember how hard it was when Dan and I were sneaking around to be together. That threat of getting caught was always looming.” Joe paused before adding. “We took some of the risks to get caught. We wanted to end the hiding.”
“So, it wasn’t just getting caught up in the moment?”
“Oh, it was some of that too,” Joe said. His lips curved in a rueful smile. “We were horny kids for the most part, and our sexual urges were…well…strong.
“I don’t want to sneak around with Charlie. I just want to be open about it. I want to be able to touch him without having to worry about outing him. It just makes it harder for both of us. It is extra stress that, well, we could do without.”
“This is still new for Charlie,” Joe said. “It hasn’t been that long since he came out to you,” Joe said.
“I know,” Devyn said. “It was only last spring. I’m trying to give him time. I just want…hell I don’t know.”
“You just want to be free to love him openly,” Joe said.
Devyn nodded. “I guess that is what I want. When I was at the party with Brent, it was easy. I could touch him and didn’t have to worry about it. I didn’t have to keep a constant vigil on doing something that could be considered gay and outing him. We danced and hung out, and it was easy.”
“I can see where that would be appealing,” Joe said. “It isn’t easy keeping everything looking like casual friends when it isn’t. The thing is, you already doubt or at least question your feelings for Brent.”
“I found him attractive, I always have, right from the start,” Devyn said. “He’s fun to hang out with. I love him…”
“But you’re not sure you are in love with him,” Joe said. “If you’re questioning that, then I’d say you are not. If you were in love with Brent, then you wouldn’t still be wondering about it. You would know that you were in love.”
“I don’t know,” Devyn said.
“Think about it,” Joe said. “When you and Brent were together before, did you wonder about your feelings for him, or did you just know that you were in love?”
“We connected right from the start,” Devyn said. “I knew I liked him, and I knew I was attracted to him, and over time, yes, I knew I was in love with him.”
The two were silent for a while before Devyn spoke again. He looked into Joe’s eyes. “So, you are saying that I’m not in love with Brent?”
“I’m not saying that,” Joe said. His large hand squeezed Devyn’s knee. “Only you can determine that. I think you and Brent will always have a special connection. You may be friends. Hell, you may be best friends again. The question is, do you get that feeling down here in your guts when you talk to him or see him?” Joe had placed his hand on Devyn’s flat belly.
“When we were in the kitchen, I was surprised by the intensity of the kiss, and it felt so good.” Devyn looked down and then back at Joe. “It was exciting. It felt…well…exciting.”
“I’m sure it was,” Joe said. “Brent’s a hot boy. He’s got a better personality than I expected.” Joe saw the question on Devyn’s face. “I was expecting to not like him,” Joe clarified. “You know, after how he treated you.”
“You were biased because of what I told you about him last year,” Devyn said.
Joe nodded. “I know that those circumstances were beyond his control. He had issues with his folks. I tried to not let his past mistakes influence me…but…Well, I love you, and if someone mistreats you, it’s going to rub me the wrong way.”
Devyn smiled. “Thanks, Batman. But I told you that stuff when I was still figuring things out.”
Joe nodded. “I know. You forgive him, and I’m letting it go. He’s a decent kid, and I definitely like Matt and Bryan. They are good men.”
“They are,” Devyn agreed. “I guess the four of you had a nice time after the play?”
“We did,” Joe said. “If they lived closer, we would probably be good friends.”
“What would you think about doing a vacation with them?” Devyn asked. “It was something Brent and I talked a little about.”
“We could probably work something out,” Joe said. “It could be fun.”
“Brent wants us to spend more time together,” Devyn stated. “He asked me to come back for a visit and to spend some time with him over our winter break.”
“We could look at making that happen, if you want?”
“I kind of do,” Devyn admitted. “Brent and I might both need that to fully understand our new relationship.”
“We can talk more about that,” Joe said. “He could definitely come here as well.”
“Matt and Bryan, too?”
“Them too,” Joe said. “Hell, the more the merrier. Maybe Lee and I should start working on the carriage house again. We were going to turn that loft into an apartment. Lee was going to live there, but he met Melissa and moved in with her. Maybe it is time we finished that project.
“I wondered about that,” Devyn said. “I didn’t know why it was partially finished like that. I mean, with the drywall and all.”
“The idea for that to be livable has been floating around for a while,” Joe said. “My dad used the ground floor as a sort of workshop. The ground floor of the carriage house, that is. The loft was just storage. It was full of junk. We didn’t have the big shed back then. I added that shed and workshop after he passed away.
“It makes more sense then,” Devyn said. “There is still a lot of junk in that old shed.
“Yes, there is. One of these days, we need to go through all that stuff. Joe got up from the bed. “Get some sleep. You don’t have to figure out any of this stuff tonight. I do think that you and Charlie need to spend some time together. You haven’t been able to do that lately.”
“That is for sure,” Devyn said. “I’m so glad all the school stuff is over now.”
Joe moved towards the door. “Good night.”
“Night,” Devyn said.
After Joe left, Devyn picked up his phone. He looked back at the string of messages from Charlie. Devyn knew the two of them needed to have some time alone. They needed to be together where it was just them, and no one else. He started typing out a message. “We should hang out sometime this week.” Devyn paused, thinking then added to his message. “I’ve missed you. Are you free?” He sent the message and then followed it up with a heart emoji.
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