Published: 24 Dec 2018

crash

A loud, rattling noise dragged me out of sleep. Was it time now? I looked at my watch: almost 2am. A bit late, last year he came lots earlier. But maybe he was it now?

I got up from the couch, it was comfortably warm, the fireplace lighting up the room. Again that noise! He never was that clumsy before. I ran to the window and looked out into the dark night, only some street lamps and the usual holiday lights offering some support for my eyes. Shit. It wasn’t him, only the neighbors cat which had pushed over the tin bucket with the sand we used to grit the sidewalk. Stupid kitty, doing damage all the time. Oh well. I guess I’ll have to wait a bit longer.

Wait for who? Well who do you think I was waiting for the night from December 24th to December 25th? Santa Claus of course! There is no Santa? Haha. Disbelieving folks. Of course there is Santa! We know each other quite well, I would even say that we are friends. We met each other 9 years ago, when I was 7 years old and had drunk too much at my own birthday party. Anyways, I had to get out of bed and to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and suddenly I heard some noises from the living room. Being the curious kid I was I went in to see what the ruckus was about.

I guess you can understand how shocked I was when suddenly I was facing Santa Claus himself in our living room! I mean, I was a big boy already and didn’t believe in Santa anymore – to see him face to face instantly destroyed my just found conviction that there was no Santa Claus, no monster under the bed and no tooth fairy! I cried out in shock and peed my jammies – an embarrassment that forever will be connected to Christmas in my mind. Santa himself didn’t fare much better. Okay, he didn’t pee his pants, but when he turned to the source of the noise and noticed me he froze in shock. Not such a good idea. At least not standing right in front of the fireplace. A few seconds later small flames were playing over the hem of his red coat – and he didn’t even realize it! Well, I did, and that was what made me forget my own shock instantly. I started to giggle.

“What do you giggle about, boy? You never saw Santa before?”

“Oh, I already saw a few, but none with a burning coat!”

That gave Santa the second shock within one minute, and after he was able to put out the flames he had to laugh about it himself. From this moment on we became friends, and I managed to meet him every year when he came to us to bring the Christmas gifts. He didn’t even try to hide from me anymore as he did with all the other kids all over the world. He said that did not make sense anymore – and I was a special case anyways. Not everbody had his birthday on December 24th. I did. Often enough I was not happy with that, because even though my parents tried to be fair I usually got less presents for birthday and Christmas than my friends who had their birthdays at other times of the year. Sometimes life stinks.

Okay, now you know about my special relationship to Santa. Sighing I went back to the couch and laid down again. It was the cat – and not Santa. Very freely interpreted Shakespeare quote. I cuddled back into my blanket and watched the flames in the fireplace. Very calming. Very tiring. Very *yaw…*

“Hi Nicky.”

What?

“Nicky, wake up!”

Uh. With lots of difficulty I managed to open my eyes, kinda confused about who disturbed my peaceful slumber.

“Well Nicky, what is it with you today? I never found you that sleepy before. I almost think you don’t want to see me this year.”

Yawning I looked at the big man in the red working clothes, standing in front of me in our living room.

“Sorry, Santa, but you’re late!”

“Early, late, you know that this makes no difference to me.”

Yeah. He never told me how he did it, but there must be some magic involved or he wouldn’t be able to deliver Christmas gifts to millions of kids all over the world within one night. I took a look at my watch

“Well it’s late for me, already 3am.”

“I’m sorry Nicky, I had to change my reindeers in the middle of the night, that took some time.”

“Change the reindeers? What happened, did you have a crash?”

“Ha! If only it had been a crash. No, one of the barn elves played a joke on me. Just wait til I get home today!”

I grinned, Santa often told me about the elves who should help him, but often caused mischief and trouble.

“What did he do?”

“He fed the reindeers beans and onions – and the stupid animals ate it all up. Can you imagine sitting in a sledge behind a pack of farting reindeers?”

I broke out laughing, that really was a totally crazy picture.

“If I had burned a matchstick I would have had a rocket sledge.”

“Haha, then not only your coat would have been on fire but your beard, too!”

“Well you laugh, Nicky, but it cost me a whole hour! I had to … oh well, that’s none of your business. A few secrets I have to keep.”

“You could have come here and I could have taken you in my car.”

“Oh yes, you’re 16 now and have your drivers license, right?”

“Yes, got it yesterday.”

“Well, congratulations. And happy birthday, even though it’s a day late.”

“Thanks.”

“Still that would not have worked. I mean, bringing the Christmas gifts in a flying car? What about the tradition. And my name isn’t Harry Potter but Santa Claus.”

“But you look a bit like him, with your weird glasses.”

“Oh well, not even Santa is getting younger. Last year I had some stress with Mrs. Santa, because there was a bunch of complains – so I got me the glasses this year.”

Oh yes, stress with Mrs. Santa. The old man wasn’t the one wearing the pants at home, haha. But wait, what did he say about complains?

“What complains?”

“Hm… Well… I had some trouble reading some of the wishlists. Some people really have bad hand writing! And everyone expects ME to be able to read it!”

I grinned, my hand writing was bad, too. That’s why I wrote my wishlist on the computer for years already.

“A Mrs. Sourbread wanted some flummis ((bouncy balls – have to use the original german name, not that easy to make the story work with new english items)) for her cats – but I read gummis ((rubbers)).”

I broke out in laughter, but fought hard to stop it to not wake up the others in the house.

“Well the worst part was that Mrs. Sourbread was 89 years old and a catholic nun. I’m still surprised she didn’t go right up to heaven when she unpacked the stuff!”

I laughed that hard that I had problems to avoid a repeat performance of what happened 9 years ago when I saw Santa for the first time.

“Since when does Santa deliver rubbers?”

“Don’t be so surprised, young man. Times are changing, as are the Christmas wishes. Love and sex play a much bigger role nowadays, at least for teens and older. Do I have to remind you of your own wishlist?”

Oops.

“Okay, okay, I get it. But there must have been more. Only because of Mrs. Sourbread Mrs. Santa wouldn’t have freaked out big time.”

“Yeah… There also was Oliver Milo from Indiana, who’s biggest wish was for James to fall in love with him. 20 years ago I never would have fulfilled such a wish, but as I said, times are changing. So I made James fall in love with him and to never leave him alone anymore.”

“And what’s the problem with that?”

“Well… Oliver didn’t want James but Jamie, the girl from next door…”

“Ouch!”

“Yes, very ouch.”

“Hm. Shit. Indiana is so far away.”

“Why?”

“Well… maybe I would have a chance with poor James?”

“Sorry Nicky, forget it, he already found a nice boy. Luckily I was able to repair the damage with Oliver, too.”

I sighed sadly.

“Awww, just wait my friend. There will be a cute boy for you somewhere, too.”

I sure hoped so. It was time. That was on MY wishlist for at least 3 years now.

“I guess Mrs. Santa wasn’t happy at all.”

“No, but it got even worse.”

“What? Even worse?”

“Yessss… There was little Emily from Baton Rouge. She wanted a doggy cake of her little Chico…”

I stopped short.

“Wait. A doggy cake OF her little Chico?”

“Hm. Well. Not exactly, I’m afraid. She wanted a doggy cake FOR her little Chico, but I guess I didn’t read it correctly…”

Wait a minute.

“Chico? Baton Rouge? Wasn’t that the little dog that bit you each and every time for the last four years?”

“Yes, that stupid mutt and its spoiled brat owner!”

“Ah yes… You just didn’t read it correctly…”

“Hey! Doggie cake FOR Chico or OF Chico – it’s easy to confuse that, especially with my eyes getting older. And that girl has a really bad handwriting!”

“Of course. I soooo believe you!”

Santa grinned at me mischievously.

“Mrs. Santa did believe me, or glasses would be my smallest problem.”

Told you so. A henpecked husband he was.

“Okay, before I have to hurry on, do you have something for me?”

Smiling I pointed to the fireplace, where a plate with cakes and a thermos flask stood.

“Feel free. But please don’t overdo it with the punch like you did last year. Old Mr. Parker called all airfields within 100 miles for 3 months to find out which damned low flier damaged his chimney last Christmas.”

“That wasn’t because of the punch but because of my bad eyes. Won’t happen this year.”

With these words Santa pointed to his glasses and emptied a big cup of punch at once.

“Ah that’s good! It’s fucking cold outside … oops … really cold I mean! Especially flying that fast.”

“You could put on thermal underwear.”

“Ha, I would, but Mrs. Santa is totally against it.”

“Why that?”

“She is afraid that someone might find out, in case of an accident for example. *Santa, how would that look! Santa Claus in the ICU, wearing longjohns! We would be the laughing stock of the whole north pole!”

My mom could learn from Mrs. Santa. I knew exactly how it was to be the laughing stock because of stuff like that.

“Okay, I have to move on. See you next year, Nicky.”

“Fly carefully, and have a nice day Santa.”

“Ho ho ho, don’t worry about me, I’ll be careful. Oh, one more thing.”

Santa stuck his right hand into the pocket of his coat, and two seconds later gave me a slip of paper.

“A little gift, wasn’t worth to wrap it up.”

Curiously I read what was written on the paper.

347 Muldrone Drive.

“What’s that?”

“Oh, not much, but maybe you should go over there today and have a look for yourself. Around 11.30am would be a good time.”

“Why?”

“Don’t ask, just do it. Remember, I’m Santa!”

I shrugged and put the paper into the breast pocket of my jammies, then I showed Santa to the door. Why to the door? Well how do you think Santa would leave the house? Oh. The old chimney story. Sorry guys, but that’s just rubbish. If Santa came through the chimney he would burn his ass! No, Santa comes through the door like everyone else.

It was snowing, and already shivering a bit Santa climbed into his sledge.

“Try to sleep for a bit more, Nicky. And Merry Christmas!”

“Same for you, Santa. See you next year.”

Santa grabbed the reins, clicked his tongue, and the sledge started to move. Oh wait! I called after him.

“Watch out on the corner Harper Street/Mohan Avenue! There is a new cell phone tow…”

Too late. A crashing noise, and the people in our neighborhood again had a reason to complain about the bad cell phone service.

I went back into the house, drank the last punch and cuddled on the couch again. Already half past 3, no sense to ruffle up the bed just for the few remaining hours. I brooded a bit over the paper Santa gave me, but soon fell asleep.

My hat dragged deep over my ears and half of my face I trudged through the snow and the cold. 347 Muldrone Drive. If I had known just HOW cold and windy it was, I would have taken the car. If my parents had allowed me to drive under these conditions. I actually was glad for the mom ordered longjohns underneath my jeans. I would never admit that to my friends, though!

Of course I wasn’t able to sleep much longer last night, my little brother woke me up before 8am, not being able to wait any longer for his Christmas gifts. For years Mike had tried to be allowed to wait for Santa with me, but Santa was against it. And a little threat that he wouldn’t get Christmas gifts anymore took care of the problem of Mike getting out of his bed secretly, trying to catch Santa. Little brothers were soooooo gullible! But oh well, now with him being up there was no sense in waiting any longer to open my own gifts.

As expected. Some clothes, DVDs and computer games. And because MY wishlist was printed big and clear on the computer, Santa really brought me the action game I wished for and not “Britney’s Dance School“. But no boyfriend. Sigh.

Because of the noise Mike and I made our parents woke up, not really happy about the early wake up call, but hey, they knew us for many years now and were used to the trouble, so they gave in and prepared breakfast.

The time after breakfast I spent with surfing the net till it was time for me to get ready for visiting that address Santa had given me. I had no idea what was in store for me, but I decided to clean up nicely – meaning the bathroom was blocked for an hour. When I was ready I nervously waited for a few more minutes, but then I couldn’t take it anymore and got out of the house – and here I was now.

328 Muldrone Drive. Looks like I was getting closer. Maybe that house there, down the street? The one with the big truck in front of it? I walked faster.

It looked like someone was moving in. Weird timing, at Christmas? My curiosity got the best of me and I moved closer to the open back door of the truck.

“Here, take that up to your bathroom.”

Ooff. With these words a big laundry bag was thrown at me, and the very next moment I found myself sitting on the street. Ouch.

“Dad? Why do you throw our towels at strangers?”

“Huh? What? Strangers?”

Still nonplussed and sitting on my butt I watched the scenery. A girl my age showed up at my side, and from the depths of the truck a man with long blond hair emerged.

“Oh! I’m so sorry! I just heard someone behind me and thought it was you, Colleen.”

Hm. You thought wrong.

“It wasn’t me, Dad. Wait, I’ll help you up.”

The girl took the laundry bag away from me and pulled me up.

“Thanks.”

The dad jumped out of the truck.

“I’m really, really sorry. I hope you didn’t hurt yourself.”

I guess my pride was more wounded than my bottom.

“It’s okay, I’m fine.”

“Good. By the way, my name is Sandler. George Sandler. And that’s my daughter Colleen.”

“Nicky … well … Nick Johnson. Nice to meet you. I live three streets from here and saw your truck, so I came over to see who is moving in at Christmas.”

“And I bombard you with our laundry, nice first impression. Oh well, it’s a weird day to move, but there was no other time possible.”

Hm. Did Santa find the Sandlers? I mean, they surely were on the road over night. And talking about Santa. Why did he give me that address? Okay, Colleen looked nice, but I wasn’t into girls, and the old bearded man knew that. Love for punch, bad eyes – and now also mental confusion?

“Could you help me to carry the stuff into the house? That would be really nice, Nicky.”

Colleen smiled at me, and as a gay but nice young man of course I couldn’t say no to her.

“Sure, just show me where to go.”

“Just follow me.”

Colleen grabbed one of the laundry bags and went into the house, with me following her, carrying another one. Inside we went up one floor, passing two open rooms and finally reaching the bathroom.

“Just put the bag down here.”

I did as I was told.

“Can you wait for me for a moment, I have to use the bathroom.”

I really didn’t need to see that, so I left the bathroom and looked around. Again my curiosity jumped in and I looked into the open rooms. The one on the left side looked like Colleen’s room. Lots of girly things, stuffed animals and posters of horses and so on. Thanks, don’t need to see more. I walked over to the other room, looked in – and almost landed on my butt again!

The room was completely outfitted already, including closets, table and bed. And IN that bed was a totally cute boy! Oh my god. How sweetly he was smiling in his sleep! I hardly was able to drag my eyes away from him.

On the nightstand were some meds and a fever thermometer – now I knew why the boy wasn’t helping his family to move in.

With my eyes jumping back to him every 3 seconds I took in the rest of his room – and my heart started to beat faster and faster! Not only did he have a big rainbow flag hanging from the ceiling, there also were some posters of cute boys on the walls, and on his desk was a magazine I knew just too well – a magazine for gay teens! With eyes and mouth wide open I stared from one telltale sign to the next and didn’t even realize that Colleen showed up at my side.

“Yes, my brother is gay! And if you cause Dennis trouble because of it, YOU will be in deep trouble with me!”

I just couldn’t stop myself, it started with a soft giggle and ended in loud laughter, even waking up the boy in the bed, who now together with his sister stared at me with surprise in his eyes.

Thank you, Santa, thank you very much! And there are people who don’t believe in you…

Disclaimer: the german original of this story was written by a friend of mine under the title “Der Wunschzettel”. It was published on a website for gay youth, and in a boring hour I decided to translate it into english as good as I could. Sorry, it might be a bit bumpy, but I hope you still enjoy it 🙂

If you want the german version, just write me: DanielRegenbogen at Yahoo dot DE

Merry Christmas!

Danny