Published: 6 Feb 2020

Friday’s mail was sitting on the end of the shop’s counter when Lewis returned from work. Winnie had acknowledged the postman but was busy with a customer at the time of delivery, then forgot it was there. Lewis picked up the handful of letters and discovered three items for him, those he separated and passed the rest, mostly window faced envelopes, to his mother. Winnie thumbed through the collection and sarcastically thanked him for nothing before commenting John could attend to them.

“What have you there?” Winnie asked as she roughly threw her collection on a small bench behind the counter.

“There’s a post card from Ian and Liz, they are down in Brisbane and a letter from Grandma Smith,” Lewis answered as he read the short note on the reverse of a picture of the Brisbane Storey Bridge.

“What about the other one?”

“Dunno.”

“It looks official?” Winnie said, spying the O.H.M.S. logo on the beige envelope, “on her majesties service you don’t see much of that.”

“It does,” Lewis answered and opened the letter from his Grandmother, reading aloud news of cold weather and plumbing his uncle had performed around the house and that his Aunt Grace, Winnie’s sister-in-law wasn’t well and the budgerigar parrot he had given his grandmother as a going away present, when he and his mother returned to Queensland in sixty-one, had died.

He released an embarrassed smile towards the bird’s name as on day he had purchased the bird Lewis left his life’s savings, which only moments earlier was withdrawn from the bank, on the pet shop counter. On his return the shop proprietor was adamant he hadn’t done so and he may have lost it in the street. Lewis called the bird, seeing it was pure white, ‘Princess Snow Flake,’ but his Grandfather named it Twelve Pounds Ten, the exact sum of the money that was lost in his wallet.

“Go on open the other letter; it’s probably your army call up papers.” Winnie advised.

“Later.”

Quickly she snatched at the envelope but Lewis’ reflexes were quicker, withdrawing the correspondence from her lunge and placing it into his back pocket. “Don’t you want to know if you’ve been selected or not?” She asked as he walked away.

“Plenty of time, I’ll tell you later.”

“I’d like to know.”

“Later mum, no hurry.”

Lewis stood the envelope upright on the shelf at the end of his bed while with his arms folded behind his head lay back viewing it with a measure of apprehension. He had two voices in disagreement inside his head. One demanded he open it while the other rejected the call. He knew eventually he would have to do so but while it was sealed and out of reach, he remained a civilian.

Lewis remembered Billy and his dishonourable discharge, maybe if the outcome was positive, he could also find some willing soldier to provide such a service but Billy was fortunate, as his discharge could have been much worse, knowing well what was the armed forces reaction towards homosexuals in its ranks. Billy had used fighting and disobedience as an excuse, while Lewis may have difficulty in convincing that as a reason.

With his eyes remaining on the envelope he thought of Billy’s discharge – ‘being a homosexual,’ he thought, ‘I hate that word, poofter is even worse. What is a better word?’ He remained without decision as a light knock on the door.

“Dinner’s ready Pet,” came softly through. Lewis responded bringing his official mail to the dinner table with him, placing it beside his plate as he ate his dinner, occasionally casting a wary glance towards its threatening existence.

“Haven’t you opened it yet?” Winnie asked, prodding the envelope with the end of the bread knife. It fell from its lean against the sugar bowl to the floor. Lewis retrieved it and returned it to its stance.

“There’s plenty of time,” he smugly answered.

“You’re a funny boy; anyone else would have had it open in seconds, instead here you are brooding over it. If it worries you that much, give it to me and I’ll open it”

“It’s not that,” Lewis was about to explain his premise of being a civilian until he knew the contents. “Alright but only to please you I’ll open it.” He tore at the envelope removing the small white card, reading aloud his scan, commencing at the top and ending with the small print at the card’s bottom while his mother sat patiently awaiting the outcome.

COMMONWEALTH OF AUSTRALIA

DEPARTMENT OF LABOUR AND NATIONAL SERVICE –BRISBANE

Dear Sir,

This is to advise you that you have been granted indefinite deferment of your liability to render national service and consequently, under present arrangements you will not be called up.

Please keep your Certificate of Registration and this notice as evidence of your registration and deferment.

Finishing his reading Lewis jumped excitedly from the table. “I haven’t been called up!” His animation could not be more if the card stated he had won the lottery but as its contents sunk in, a strange disappointment developed. Part of him wished to march up and down parade grounds, to be subordinated and go to Vietnam to fight for the rights of the west and the Australian Way. Death, blood and killing weren’t part of the equation, besides he was young and invincible.

Soon the regret faded and he was overcome with relief as he once again read the card and within a short time knew its contents verbatim. Now all he wished to do was to tell Billy but knowing that he would not be at work he decided instead to visit Ashley with his glad tidings.

On reaching the Graham Hotel, something drove him right instead of left and towards the Royal where he perched in a state of ecstasy at his favourite end of the bar. To his surprised Brian was back behind the bar. Brian had been working nights at the Masterson and by his own declaration would not be back at the Royal.

“Hey Brian what are you doing back at the Royal? Lewis asked as he mounted his seat.

“Night shifts mate, I only like nights and now that Will is doing days, then I’m back.” Brian pulled a beer and gently pushed it across the bar towards Lewis without disturbing the beverage’s surface, “skill there mate, Will couldn’t give such a head” he uttered in self phrase while collecting the money. Giving head brought a smile but Lewis kept the humour and truth of it to himself.

“Strange that,” Brian said as he tilled the coin.

“What’s strange Brian?”

“Will.” Brian lifted an eyebrow then gently shook his head, “he used to want night shift to pull the sheila’s, now he wants days, as for women, he’s gone right of the boil.

“So its Will now, I thought you didn’t get on with your cousin?” Lewis stated showing a measure of surprise.

Umm, he wants Will and I think he’s had a change since the army, so I suppose I owe him that.”

“I agree – hey mate, guess what? Lewis reached across the bar and gently punched Brian on the arm.

“What am I guessing?”

“I’m celebrating, I missed the draft!”

“I missed it a couple of years back, should have joined anyway for all the good staying around here does.” Brian admitted.

This night Lewis was seeing a side of Brian he had never noticed. Usually Brian was a master of one lined comments and never entered the field of deep and meaningful.Billy’s name came up on the occasion with Brian showing forgiveness and Lewis showing indifference. He was well aware that Brian had a sharp mind and alcohol loosens tongues, so he paced himself below the level of intoxication to avoid disclosing anything that may incriminate himself or Billy.

It was after eleven when Lewis decided to call it a night, the bar had been closed for an hour but he had remained talking to Brian as he closed down the till, with the offer of a couple of free drinks to celebrate Lewis’ news.

On his return home he detoured to visit Ashley, knowing that he was a night owl and being his night off he would most probably be watching some new film release he had just received from Sweden or European Travel Logue, while dreaming of travel.

“High Herbie what’s new?” Ashley asked as he opened the door.

“I’m a bit drunk.”

“Celebrating or drowning your sorrows?” Ashley spoke with concern drawing over him like night’s shady curtain, “you haven’t had a row with McKee have you?” Ashley showed Lewis into the living room and offered him a beer but coffee was agreed to as Ashley returned to his latest acquisition.

“It’s a classic this one,” said Ashley and handed Lewis a mug of hot coffee, “so is the Coffee.” Ashley was right most of the coffee on offer in Queensland at that time was chicory or a bitter liquid out of a tall thin bottle made by Bushels, which had to be toned with copious amounts of condensed milk or sugar to make it palatable.

Ashley’s coffee supply came from his contacts in Sydney and was in bean form, which had to be crushed to a fine powder in a mortar and pestle, this brew lacked the bitterness that Lewis was accustomed and filled the house with the most marvellous aroma.

“No it’s nothing to do with Will.”

“Have you asked him about house sitting?”

“I’m seeing him tomorrow night, I’ll let you know but I have some great news and yes I was celebrating.” It was obvious that Lewis was chafing to disclose his news but Ashley played him for its worth.

“You’re not pregnant are you?’ Ashley pouted.

“No I missed the draft – I don’t have to join up.”

Wednesday – 18 September 1968.

I missed the draft!!!!!

What a belated present for my birthday.

Whoopee!!!!

With the addition of a second whoopee Lewis closed his diary.

It had been raining most of Saturday; a Low had come in off the ocean with enough strength to lift over the mountains and dump its cargo onto Mareeba along with most of the Tablelands. It was a warm rain, soaking through to the bone within a few steps but gave no discomfort. Lewis said good night to his mother and walked to the Graham, where he sheltered in the shadow of the hotel’s doorway as the building was lacking street awnings.

“You going in or coming out, or just blocking the door?” An associate of his mother’s partner demanded while attempting entry.

“I’m waiting for someone.”

“Bit wet isn’t it,” Joe Brennan admitted, pushing his way past and shaking the rain from his hat.”

“Somewhat Mr. Brennan,” Lewis agreed as the McKee Jaguar came around the corner.

Billy pulled into the curb and Lewis quickly opened the door, giving a slight shudder with the changing of his body temperature.

“Sorry, I’m a little wet.”

“There’s a towel on the back seat,” Billy suggested as he pulled away.

“Where shall we go?” Lewis asked as he retrieved the towel.

“Out the road a bit I should think.?”

Lewis collected the towel and dried his wet hair, “the rain has set in.”

“News said it’s a monsoonal low,” Billy said as he turned the vehicle away from town.

“Guess what,” Lewis became animated.

“No guessing, you tell me.”

“I missed the draft!”

“That’s great news you would never have made a soldier,” Billy flatly determined and turned on the radio.

“You don’t appear surprised?”

“Brian told me, said you were in celebrating,” Billy admitted and tuned the radio away from Ashley’s music to midnight, “about Ashley.”

“Have you come to any decision?” Lewis asked.

“Almost.”

“Almost?” Lewis repeated.

“Does he know it is me he is offering?”

“He does, as I previously said, he guessed so when seeing me in the car when you dropped me off on two occasions.”

“Can he be trusted?” Billy asked

“With our secret – yes certainly but with your dick, that’s another matter.”

“Then why not, it would be fun,” Billy reached across and fondled Lewis,

“Seems you’re ready for it,” he laughed.

“Always,” Lewis agreed as Billy pulled into a dark trucking stop some distance past the drive-in theatre.

“Get in the back seat.”

“It’s a little exposed here isn’t it?”

“With this rain no one will take any notice.”

It was decided both would tell their families they would be house sitting and arrive at Ashley’s after dark and as late as possible, staying nights and weekends while returning to their respective homes after work to show an appearance. It was planned as if with military precision to avoid anyone realising they were together, or it was Ashley’s house they were minding. Also with Billy on day shifts at the Royal it would leave the nights free.

Such a plan shouldn’t prove too much of a problem for Lewis as Winnie and John didn’t personally know Ashley and would only need the minimum of information, while Billy’s family didn’t interfere with his comings and goings, concluding he was shacked up with some barmaid, as he had often done in the past.

Lewis believed the biggest threat would come from his work mate Trevor who seemed to be watching every move he or Billy made. If Trevor suspected something was building, he like a dog with a bone would hold onto it until the sex police in him, discovered every detail and being Billy, would used it for utmost effect.

Ashley called into Jack and Newells on his way to the station giving Lewis an envelope containing the house keys. It had been designed to perform the hand over the previous night but when Lewis arrived Ashley could not find the spare set, so new keys had to be cut the following morning. All this added to Trevor’s interest in Lewis’ business.

“Wasn’t that the announcer from Mareeba radio?” Trevor asked as Ashley left the store.

“Yes.”

“What did he want?”

“Why do you want to know? Lewis quickly answered being aware Trevor had witnessed the handover, so denial was out of the question.

“Just curious.”

“You know the adage about curiosity. I happen to know a lady friend of his and he asked me to deliver something to her as he is going away and wouldn’t see her for a while.”

“What’s in it?”

“You do ask a lot of questions.”

“Only way to find things out.”

“It rattles, could be money – you like money,” Lewis sarcastically answered while giving the envelope a gentle shake.

“From old ladies not to old ladies.”

Lewis pocketed the envelope.

“I hear it said he’s an old poof,” Trevor diverted.

“Wouldn’t know Trevor, why don’t you ask him?”

During the day it became apparent that Trevor was dwelling on Ashley’s visit. Lewis once again had to defend himself against suspicion by declaring his anonymity and then when tired of the subject of Ashley, Trevor moved his conversation back to sex and then McKee.

“You know even McKee is strange these days,” his statement came during their lunch break, while Lewis was searching through the sink cupboard for the sugar jar. It was empty and he wasn’t prepared to consume his cup of tea without sweetening, so he poured the hot beverage down the sink and retrieved a soft drink from the lunch room’s refrigerator instead.

“You keep saying that.”

“Then it must be true.”

“Why do you think McKee is strange?” Lewis asked. Trevor thought for a moment before replying.

“For starters he gave up his night shift for days, when everyone knew he loved the late shift to pull the birds and now he seems soft in the head.”

“Maybe he’s growing up?”

“Na, once a cunt then always a cunt and there was the army dismissal what was all that about?”

“I thought it was for fighting and not obeying orders,” Lewis proclaimed placing a convincing tone on his answer.

“I heard differently.”

Lewis felt a chill as he searched for a distraction from Trevor’s direction but felt compelled to ascertain what Trevor knew.

“What have you heard?” Lewis asked attempting to sound as disinterested as possible.

“Not a lot but dad said that there was more to it than the official statement and eventually I will find out.”

“You know Trevor your hatred of McKee is turning your head soft,” Lewis words came incidentally without the strength of conviction, as he once again attempted to steer the conversation away from McKee. To a degree he was successful and instead Trevor brought Billy’s father into the equation.

It appeared that Billy’s father and Trevor’s dad had business dealings that failed and Trevor’s father blamed Len McKee for his loss. All this happened before either Billy or Trevor were born and the father’s hatred transferred to the son. That with Billy giving Trevor a few schoolyard slaps didn’t go towards generating well being between the boys, now there was impasse and continuing.

Trevor became silent for a time and then as he rose from the lunch room table to the scrapings of chair on lino he spoke, “Yes there is more in the McKee story than fists and I’ll get to the bottom of it.”

“Knowing you Trevor you will.”

“What does that mean?” Trevor’s tone became poisoned.

“Come on we’ll be late for work and you know what Cookie’s like.”

“By the way you keep protecting McKee, I wonder.” Trevor said as they reached their work station.

“What would that be Trevor,” Lewis sarcastically enquired.

“I don’t know – yet.”

With Ashley’s absence there was the impression of sterility within his house, appearing void of any atmosphere or individuality, while containing only the bare necessities. Then he realised what it was lacking and that was the touch of a woman. It was true, most of the time Ashley acted like a woman but his artistic taste for furnishings was definitely that of a bachelor. Lewis also noticed most things came in pairs. There were two chairs, two knives, fork and spoons, giving the impression that visitors never came in batches, leading to the opinion the house’s personality was Ashley himself and not his possessions.

On entering the kitchen Lewis found a large sheet of radio station notepaper on the kitchen table with a scratching of words broken into incorrect sentencing, in the hand of one used to hurriedly scribbling notes, decreeing what to do and what not to do. Stating most emphatically there was plenty of food in the refrigerator and to use it, not to let it go rancid.

Also suggested was a supply of new films on the lounge room table and if the mood took them – then he knew where to find, ‘the others’, these words he underlined twice. At notation’s end was a greeting with the words, “say hello to Will,” bringing Lewis to the conclusion that if Ashley could forgive Billy, then why the hell couldn’t others.

It was past eight when Lewis heard a light knock on the rear door and without hesitation advanced to open it, finding Billy standing in the dull yellow light, somewhat akin to a kangaroo caught in the spotlight. Lewis stood for a time surveying the handsome form of Billy, dressed in a hugging t-shirt and a pair of jeans that appeared to have been painted onto his body.

“Are you going to let me in or stand there all night gazing at me?”

“Sorry come in,” Lewis answered stepping aside to allow passage, while watching Billy’s arse as he passed, noticing that the crease of his jeans gently folded into a deep valley between two mounds of muscle, flexing and retracted with each step. Billy immediately headed for the living room and casting his eyes from left to right he spoke.

“The place hasn’t changed since I first saw it,” then with a smirk, “and that’s the same couch where he gave me head, you can probably still see the stains,” he said pointing at the worn material of the couch.

Joining with the humour Lewis wondered how many Mareeba boys had lost their virginity on that very couch. “They have most probably been washed away by mine or others by now.”

Billy threw himself into the couch and with his arms folded behind his head, legs wide, he gestured to Lewis, “go for it boy.”

“Later!” Lewis promised and collected two beers from the refrigerator, handing one to Billy.

“The house smells the same,” Billy stated in complaint as he sniffed at the air. It wasn’t a rank smell but the odour of dark and dusty corners, of books that had stood upon their shelves unopened for half a generation. Their words disintegrating under the hunger of an advancing army of silverfish as they devoured the very wisdom contained between the covers.

Mostly what was missing was the scented touch of a woman’s cleaning fancy. That wasn’t to say that Ashley was dirty, or even untidy but a man’s cleaning is often concentrated towards practicality, leaving under beds and dark corners to their seclusion.

“Are you hungry?” Lewis asked as he reopened the fridge and recited its contents, “there’s ham, cold roast chicken, eggs, what looks like roast beef, bacon and a stack of other things; it looks like a Hungarian delicatessen in here.”

“Na had something at home before leaving. Did you bring all that?”

“No Ashley stocked up for us, the freezer is also full and he had left us real coffee. Have you had real ground coffee?”

“Yep, dad has it all the time.”

“One of these days Will, I’ll one up you.”

“Never besides it’s what I offered to you while at Yorkeys’ but you turned your nose.”

“Do you want to watch a film?” Lewis asked as he rejoined Billy on the couch, lying with his legs crossing Will’s crotch and feeling a slight movement beneath. Lewis moved his legs around to increase the rise.

“Stop it; these jeans are tight enough as it is without you trying to expand them further!” Billy protested while moving Lewis’ legs towards his knees.

“Then remove them,” Lewis suggested.

“Now?” Billy said cautiously. The last time he had his pants around his ankles in this house, he had the top of Ashley’s head bobbing up and down and gagging on his length. Somehow it didn’t seem right to be naked in this man’s house.

“I’ll join you,” Lewis added as he undid his belt buckle. Billy cautiously stood and slowly removed his jeans, peeling them from his legs like one removing the skin of a banana. By the time they had reached his ankles Billy was erect, standing vertically beyond his belly button and proud. Soon they were both naked and back in their previous positions, with Lewis playing with Billy’s erection with his toes.

“Better stop that or you’ll have a sticky foot!” Will protested, while removing the offending foot to a distant part of his leg.

“Got another beer?” Billy asked placing his empty bottle on the coffee table next to its already empty mate.

“Sure there’s a fridge full,” Lewis retrieved two more beers and rejoined Billy.

“You’re a kinky little bugger,” Billy admitted.

“Why.”

“This naked stuff.”

“You weren’t slow stripping,” Lewis protested.

“Maybe I like kink,” Billy laughed.

“And who put his shorts over whose head back in your room?”

“Only so you wouldn’t see what I was gunna’ do.”

“I’ll put my dacks on if it bothers you,” Lewis suggested.

“Na I like you naked, come back and sit next to me.”

Returning to the couch Lewis recalled his conversation with Trevor that morning, “You will have to watch Trevor Davies he’s trying to find out why you were discharged from the army and he is becoming quite intense.

“Fortunately not even my family know and unless he has access to my army files, or knows some of the officers, then he hasn’t a chance.” Billy explained, “I’ll at least give the army merit for their discretion.” Billy drank from his bottle and winked at Lewis.

“What?” Lewis demanded accepting Billy’s wink.

“You’re cute mate.”

“Na too scrawny, you’re the one with the body, besides do you know what cute means?” Lewis asked while once again bringing Billy on with his toes. Lewis continued; “it means ugly but adorable, so which one am I?”

“You are my version of cute and come on let’s get into bed.”

Ashley’s bedroom was sparse. A cupboard for clothes a small bedside table, a chair and Holland blinds on the window, no curtains but it at least a double bed and most comfortable, even if it did squeak somewhat, which brought humour from both each time they moved.

Eventually Lewis cuddled into the back of Billy and drew deeply from his scent while attempting to sleep but slumber came slowly. He could not accept the present and its worth without acknowledging the future and where their relationship was heading. Mareeba had too many restrictions on them and his fear being, if Billy felt pressure he would divert his affections back to the fairer sex, this and more kept his mind active into the early hours.

Eventually sleep removed his anxiety and before he could savour the night the morning light arrived from a gap under the Holland Blind. He was alone but clatter came from the kitchen followed by some low grade swearing which developed into full language.

“Fucking toaster!” arrived loudly from the kitchen, followed by the sound of scraping and footsteps towards the bedroom.

“Breakfast,” Billy declared while returning to the room as naked as he had been when they retired the previous night.

“You burnt the toast,” Lewis complained.

“Oh you heard that, never mind it’s not all that burnt and was the last of the bread.” Billy handed Lewis a tray and sat beside him on the bed, helping himself to a slice of toast and vegemite, “as you can see I did find the vegemite.”

“The army trained you well,” Lewis acknowledged as he joined in with the breakfast.

It took most of the first week to adjust to living together but Lewis was growing accustomed to having Billy at arms length each night and by his actions Billy also appeared to be savouring the experience and without hesitation took up cooking duties, while Lewis, not being skilled around the stove, did the dishes and cleaning.

From the sink Lewis would occasionally gaze back at Billy relaxing on the couch while sipping from a beer, or reading his motor magazines, wishing he could hold the moment forever. Or as Billy prepared a meal, while talking his way through what he was doing, cursing when the stove refused to follow his directions, increasing Lewis’ wish of forever but foremost in his thoughts was the time was fleeting and the few weeks would soon pass. What would then eventuate? They would return to their private lives only to steal an hour or so from their families and friends in the darkness of a Mareeba night, while trying to hide knowledge of association.

The mounting quandary within Lewis became apparent to Billy but he left well enough alone knowing Lewis would eventually speak his mind. That night Billy prepared his specialty, spaghetti with chicken toped with special cheese he lifted from his mother’s pantry and as Lewis stood at the sink, his hands sunk in dish washing suds he eventually released his fear. His gaze beyond the window glass to the dark garden shapes, black on black and as bleak as his thoughts.

“You know Will, sometimes I wish I could stop this moment and hold on to it for ever,” Lewis’ words came softly, lifting from the bowels of the sink and sounding as soggy as the suds, “but you can’t can you?”

“We still have two weeks,” Billy said positively.

“Yes but what happens after that?”

“Stop worrying, it will work out.” Billy’s positive attitude brought Lewis back from dismal and once again he saw the brightness of the kitchen’s gloss cream surface and not the dark shapes beyond the window, “I suppose you are right but what worries me is your situation at home. I know what your parents are like and they expect you to marry and have kids.”

“I could say the same of you, besides I have an older brother who is prone to produce and has.”

“I didn’t think he was married?”

“He’s not but you don’t need to marry to have kids.”

“What about your younger brother?” Lewis asked, remembering the secrecy held during their earlier encounter by the river.”

“As I said then, one day I’ll explain.”

“He’s not an axe murderer or something,” Lewis laughed.

“You are pushing it Lewis Smith.” Billy buried his face into Lewis’ neck and made dumb blurting sounds.

“That tickles.”

“So you will leave off asking about my brother?”

“Fair enough, hey isn’t it a pity you couldn’t have those kids without wives?” Lewis laughed.

“Now you have a point there Sherlock but whose going to change their shitty nappies?” Billy stated from close to Lewis’ ear as he approached and wrapped his powerful arms around Lewis and gently squeezed, “if I can borrow dad’s car, how would you like to go up to the Lakes on Saturday?”

“Sure, sounds great.”

Gary’s stories are all about what life in Australia was like for a homosexual man (mostly, long before we used the term, “gay”). Email Gary to let him know you are reading: Gary dot Conder at CastleRoland dot Net

27,300 views