Published: 12 Aug 2024

“I was thinking.” Daniel had been seated on an overturned box by the hut door for some time, watching Axel at work with his tanning of a large red kangaroo hide.

“What were you thinking Daniel?”

“What you said on our way back with the cart.”

“I said many things; was it to do with extending the corn field, or your wish to see a corroboree?”

“I’ve already fill that wish.”

“When?”

“Some nights back they had one of their sing-songs near that sacred rock you spoke off.”

“Where was I?”

“You were asleep. I quietly crept to where they were meeting and watched for quite some time. I was most impressed and Warrin was dancing with the men.”

“You were fortunate not to be caught, especially without permission.”

“I was well hidden. No it was more what you said about that land at the top of Stringers Creek’s headwater.”

“Yes I did mention that.”

“Were you serious or was it simply a passing thought.”

“I was serious although it would take a lot of planning.”

“Why?” Daniel asks.

“Firstly I wouldn’t think of moving there unless we had a proper registered claim.”

Daniel’s ears prick, “we you say?”

“Finished,” Axel says and puts aside the skin he was working on, “I wouldn’t think of making such a move without your agreement.”

“Like partners?’

“Yes business partners as I know you aren’t interested in the bed type.”

“You have your painter to dream about.”

“I’m beginning to believe I will never see Joshua again. What would you think of being my business partner in making a bid for a land grant?” Axel asks.

Daniel’s eyes brighten, “I would say it is a grand idea.”

“What about your dream of having a property of your own,” Axel releases a wide grin, “and running sheep?”

“I believe it was only dreaming. Have you seen this land you speak of?”

“Yes often. I was with Scottish Jock back then, although memory serves me well and even Jock made a favourable comment on its value.”

“I would like to see this land.”

“Then you shall, it is a long walk and from here it is only accessible by the path the natives use. If you like we could set out first light the day after tomorrow.”

“What about the natives, are they the same as Warrin’s lot?”

“I would say they are possible from a clan called Kedumba. Jock and I lived in that area for some time without any trouble.” Axel is remembering his time with Jock and the day of his friend’s demise, how on climbing back to the top of the escarpment he was approached by a number of young warriors, one of whom had cut a lock of his hair. He also remembered seeing that same native with what appeared to be a raiding party along the Sydney road and still wearing that lock of hair around his neck, possibly as a talisman. Axel doesn’t share the memory. “Yes I am sure they are the Kedumba but something makes me believe they wouldn’t be trouble.”

“How far is it?”

“It will take most of a day, so we would need to rise early and water but in the most the garden can look after itself for a few days.”

“What about Patch?”

“She has access to water and I believe enough feed for a few days.”

Daniel is obviously deep in thought.

“What are you thinking?”

“I was trying to picture your headwater and what we could do with it.”

“Grow things I should think.”

“Spuds?”

“Yes why not and more corn than we can here, also it would not be hunted out as we have almost done here.”

“How many acres?”

“If it hasn’t already been taken, which I much doubt, I should think as may as you can clear.”

Setting out was effortless and for a short distance Ding tagged along although he soon became distracted, parting company in chase of something small through the thick scrub along the creek.

Ding doesn’t return.

Axel had made a package of travelling food but as they would be following Stringers Creek, or be in close proximity of the creek for most of the journey, he decided not to burden their load with water flasks; also meals could be supplemented with native treats of berries and fruits along the way.

Soon they were beyond Daniels knowledge of territory, entering into what is Axel’s memory, even so Axel’s recollection is strong and as they travelled he often imagined he could hear Jock’s voice, explaining the use of each plant, where to dig for Murnong, find native honey bee hives, or which tree hollow would hold bird eggs and how to avoid being bitten or stung by something hiding there in, “a warning lad,” Axel unconsciously says during a quiet period.

“What is the warning?”

“Ha – no warning I was remembering something Jock said when I was about to shove my hand into a tree hollow for birds eggs.”

“What did he say?’

“Before you go doing such a darn stupid thing kid, check it out with a stick or something.”

“Did you?”

“I did and as well as there was a very angry snake after the same eggs. Truthfully the snake got them first and almost me.”

While Axel shared Jock’s wisdom Daniel appeared to have a question then during another pause he speaks, “Did you and Jock -,” he says and immediately realises the impertinence of his request and refrains from continuing.

Axel halts progress as his eyes narrow.

Daniel knew that frown and wished he had remained muted.

“Did we what Daniel?” Axel softly asks.

“I was going to ask if you and Jock coupled.”

The question was now out, while hanging over Daniel’s person like a widow-maker tree branch, surprisingly Axel was lacking in displeasure.

“No never. Jock very much liked the ladies, on the occasion he would leave me to mind the camp as he slipped into town for a little, as he called it, creature comfort. He had a special lady over near Wisemans Ferry, sometimes he would stay overnight and once when he was feeling amorous he stayed for two days.”

“Life must have been lonely for you,” Daniel suggests.

“I was young for most of our association, therefore quite unaware of that part of me. As I have already shared, there were times while being abused by Miller, I yearned for affection but it wasn’t to be. In truth that part of me was well suppressed until -,” Axel pauses.

“Until you met Joshua?”

“Yes until Joshua.”

“Axel if I could, I would dearly love to fill that void you have in your heart but I know it could never happen.”

“You have done so Daniel, more than you realise.”

“What if the coupling stops?”

“Daniel a man can love another man in many ways while such love can be as strong, even stronger, than the bond between man and women without the need for coupling.”

Daniel laughs, “I do enjoy the coupling.”

“As do I; we’ve already had this conversation. I believe it doesn’t need expanding further.” A few paces on and Axel stops, “we are now beyond the territory of Warrin’s clan, so keep your eyes about.”

Soon the native track parted company with Stringers Creek for a short distance, becoming nothing but a disturbance of leaf litter with the occasional bent or broken tree branch. Ahead there is a small clearing about a flat uplifted rocky surface of granite, where the track passes through the narrow space between two large trees with thick scrub on one side and the returning of the creek on the other. “That could be a problem,” Axel says.

“What problem?”

“The trees, if we are to bring the cart through here, we will need to do some serious thinking.”

On reaching the outcrop of granite Daniel points to scratching on the rocky surface.

“It will be a territory marker,” Axel informs. He approaches and with a duster of gum leaves sweeps away the litter covering the ancient scratching; “kangaroo;” he describes with a pointing finger, that one there is an echidna, that possibly a wombat.”

“Will there be natives about?” Daniel asks.

Axel gives a heavy shrug.

“That wasn’t very positive.”

“Times have changed; our lot have made sure of that. Before we arrived the natives would winter at the coast and summer in the high mountains. Now we have put farms and villages between the two and shoot at them when they attempt to pass from one to the other. Possible most now remain in the mountains to be away from settlements.”

“With what you are telling me, I no longer feel confident.”

“She’ll be jake,” Axel assures as they move on.

“Who is Jake when he is at home?”

“It means everything will be fine.”

“I will add it to the many local words I have learned since arriving.”

“You can add Luke to the list.”

“Your meaning?”

“She’ll be Luke means the same as Jake, just a different bloke I suppose.”

“Huh.” Daniel grunts.

“You want to know something Daniel?”

“What?”

“You are not only learning the local lingo but your accent is changing, you are losing your Cockney twang. If you were to travel home they would no longer recognise you.”

Daniel laughs, “I like that, so I am becoming Currency.”

“Ya’ got it in one mate.”

Daniel remains smiling as he follows in Axel’s steps and is more than happy to be described as part of what some back in England called the Social Experiment.

The daylight was fast failing as Axel calls back to Daniel lagging some distance back, “we’re there at last,” As he speaks the narrow native path they had been following, opens out onto a wide expanse of grass with the headwater of Stringers Creek running along one side, emptying into a large pool of crystal clear water, “what do you think?”

Daniel appears impressed, “there must be a hundred acres of arable land, even twice that with a little clearing.”

Axel points to a flat portion of land towards the back of the clearing, “our house will be there and high enough to be away from the heaviest flood. Down there a stable and horse yard with a veggie patch to the right of the house site.

“House you say.”

“Yes, no hut but a grand house with wooden floorboards, glass in all the windows and bedrooms on a second floor, also a separate kitchen and dining room set away from the house in case of fire.”

“That all sounds great except -.”

“Except what?’

“There isn’t any road in and you could hardly bring a horse over the way we came, never mind a cart loaded with building material.”

“That is easily solved.” There was no stopping Axel’s excitement as he hadn’t walked for almost a day to be defeated by access.

“I’m listening.”

Axel points the way across the pool to the forest beyond, “You may not realize but Parramatta is much closer in that direction than it is to our hut. After about a mile or so the forest opens up somewhat giving an easier approach.”

“So we simply squat here, build a house and grow a crop.”

“Not this time, our little farm could be claimed by another at anytime. I would say the only reason it hasn’t as yet is because it is too far from civilization and fear of the blacks. What I suggest is we peg out a claim then register it with the relevant authorities.”

“Who would that be?” Daniel asks.

“I’m not sure but I’m about to find out.”

Daniel is laughing.

“What’s got your funny, kid?”

“You Axel – you are becoming urbane, what happened to the fella’ that couldn’t abide people.”

“Jock once said that the best way to defeat an adversary is to run with him as it confuses the issue.”

“Profound I suppose but it is growing dark, so we will need to remain here for the night.”

When it came to bunking in for a night, Axel was most proficient and with knowledge gleaned from the natives he soon threw up a shelter, with copious amount of grass as their bedding. Being a warm night there wasn’t any need for covering but as he suggested, if Daniel felt a chill he could cuddle closer.

During the night there is a surprise. Daniel is disturbed from his uneasy slumber by movement around their camp. He gives Axel a prod, “are you awake?” he whispers.

“I am now, what’s the problem?”

“There is something about the camp.”

“I can’t hear anything,”

“Shoosh – listen,” Daniel softly growls

“That sound is familiar,” Axel admits.

There is a low snuffling sound and moments later they have a visitor.

“It’s Ding!” Daniel laughs as the dog moves in with them and settles, “were you cold boy?”

The dog gives his usual soft yodel and takes position between them.

“Ding! You little bugger, you farted,” Axel complains as the dog becomes more comfortable, “what have you been eating!”

The boys laugh as the aroma dissipates and all three settle for the remainder of the night.

It is morning with the sun sending lengthy rays through the tall trees at the far end of the clearing. Axel is already up and emptying his bladder into the long grass. Daniel gives a loud yawn as he stretches his arms; his neck is a little stiff from their unusual bedding.

“So you are awake at last.”

“I am; did I dream it?”

“Dream what?”

“I thought we had a visit from Ding.”

“We did, he buggered off when the Kookaburra’s started up.”

“Yea I heard them. Ding must have been following us all the time.”

“I often see him at distance while hunting,” Axel says.

“He’s a strange animal, not like any dog I’ve known.” Daniel admits.

“I suppose he is a dog in appearance although I should think they act more like a wolf – do you want some breakfast?”

“I’m gonna’ take a dip in the pool to wake myself,” Daniel yawns while slowly rising to his feet, “piss first,” he says and walks to the edge of the clearing.

“As well, we can’t have you pissing in our bathwater.”

“Funny boy.”

“I’ll race ya’,” Axel calls and quickly strips.

“Hang on I’m not through pissing.”

Soon they are both naked and splashing about in the pool. It is cold, deep with soft water grass underfoot. As the foolery stops Daniel becomes static, his gaze is all about.

“What’s up?”

“I’m thinking.”

“That’s a change.”

“No, seriously Axel, I could live here, it has calming atmosphere.”

“Calming you say?”

“Yes that’s the word, as we were splashing about I was taken by a strange feeling, it was as if I’ve been here before.”

“Jock said there is a word for that?”

“I suppose you are going to tell me?”

“I would if I could remember. It is in French.”

“Give it a go.”

“Umm – devois; no that sounds wrong, I think it is called déjà-vu or something like that. I know I’ve been here before but that was long ago.

“We should quickly register a claim.”

“So you agree.”

“Now I’ve seen your headwater, I am more than in agreement.”

Gary’s stories are about life for gay men in Australia’s past and present. Your emails to him are the only payment he receives. Email Gary to let him know you are reading: Conder 333 at Hotmail dot Com

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