Published: 29 Jan 2024

Back on set Alun is having difficulty concentrating. Firstly there is his winnings and how to best invest and if the adage money burns a hole in one’s pocket is appropriate, Alun’s providence was burning a hole in his wellbeing. The second and more important was his developing attraction towards Taylor and although he wished to continue, he wasn’t prepared to give it the only name possible, as too many years of accusations from his father had removed his ability to be himself, “I could give it some other name,” he privately advocates while drifting away from Simon and what was needed from him during the coming days.

‘A rose,’ he thinks.

‘By any other name,’

‘And rejection is the same by any title,’ Alun’s thoughts are back with his father, ‘acting is for pansies and girls.’

‘That’s right dad I’m a handbag carrying cock sucking poof.’ Alun gives a shudder. ‘It was harsh with mum present but worth it to see Dad’s expression turn to stone.’

‘I know what to do, I won’t name it, I’ll simply follow my heart and not what I believe is right for dad.’

“Are you with us Alun?” Simeon calls across the gathering of cast and crew.

Alun returns to present, “yes, Simon sorry, I was working through a little problem I have.”

“Do you care to share it?” Simon asks.

“No – not likely.”

Simon calls time out; “everyone stand down. Alun go take a walk and clear your head. Take Taylor with you.”

As Alun leads away from the set, Taylor grabs him by the arm, “what’s the matter?” he asks.

“You are!”

“How do you mean?”

“I can’t stop thinking about the weekend in town.”

“Has it unsettled you?”

“I think I’m growing more attached to you than I had intended.”

They reach the stables and a grey mare comes to the yard fence, she snuffles at Taylor’s pocket, “no apples today girl – sorry. Alun I’ve been attracted to you since the first day when I collected you from your apartment.”

“I didn’t realise.”

“I would never have acted on it as you had Jillian and as I said I don’t get mixed up with straight boys. I do have a question ‘tho.”

“Ask away.”

“What are you gay or straight, or don’t you know?”

“The latter I guess but I do know one thing is certain and that is I am more than attracted to you.”

“As I am with you so what are we going to do about it?”

“Firstly finish this film. Go through the promotions and see how we feel then.”

“You may change your mind by then.”

“I won’t change,” Alun promises.

“I hope not.”

Both turn and return to the set.

“Sorted?” Simon demands.

“I think so.” Alun cautiously complies.

“Then can we get on with it. We only have a week’s filming left and I don’t want it fucked-up at this late stage.”

During the evening Alun has a call from Peter. It appears their parents were continuing with the divorce and David, with advice from his solicitor had signed the house over to Sylvia but little else, while Sylvia with independent guidance and against that given by Peter, agreed to the offer to have an end to the matter.

“Why did you allow mum to take less,” Alun angry argues.

“It wasn’t my idea Alun, I tried but mum’s solicitor said it was a fair deal, otherwise it make take years in court to finalize and even then it may go against mum.

“Have you come out of the deal with help from dad for your proposition?”

“Nope, he said I could get a job and as far as he is concerned, he doesn’t have family.”

“Are you still interested in starting up?”

“Yes much so.”

“What is the very lease you would need for the start up?”

“Twenty but it would be tight and risky with such a small amount.”

“Then I’ll let you have twenty.”

“Are you sure you can afford it?”

“I reckon so,” Alun says with a soft chuckle.

“I promise I’ll pay you back as soon as possible.”

“We’ll worry about that later. I will be finishing here in about a week and need to go into town to finalize something, so I’ll arrange a transfer while in Rochester. ”

After finishing his call with Peter, Alun finds Taylor in their room making a late evening coffee. “Do you want one?” Taylor offers.

Alun falls into a chair, “no thank you, late coffee has me pissing all night.”

“It doesn’t have any effect on me.”

“We are all designed differently I suppose.”

“Yes that is obvious when we are naked.”

“Your meaning,”

“You have the body while I’m only average.”

You have body enough but stop or you’ll have me going and I don’t think this is the place for -,”

“For what Alun?”

“You know.”

“Were you talking with Peter?”

“Yes, he wants a loan to start up a business.”

“Can you afford it?”

“I can – now.” Alun gives a secret smile

Taylor never misses an expression and asks; “you say now Alun?”

“Our last remittance for the film is due this week.”

“It will be enough to keep us alive for a year or so, nothing like what they get in Hollywood and I wouldn’t think enough to start up a business.”

“True although sometimes things turn up,” Alun pours a glass of water, “I think I’ll take a shower before bed.”

“Would you like someone to scrub your back?”

“I would if our shower wasn’t communal.”

“You do realise most believe we are a couple anyway.”

“Says who?”

“You hear things.”

“To be honest Tay, I’m growing towards not giving a fuck what others think.”

As Alun leaves for the shower block he meets Simon.

“Don’t forget we have an early morning,” Simon reminds.

“I haven’t forgotten, what is the scene?”

“It is after Hamish’s death and his wife Audrey comes back with Pennyworth to claim his daughter’s part of the estate.”

“I believe Gilbert is in the scene,”

“He will be in all from here on and there are less than a dozen scenes to complete, probably two weeks or three at the most.”

“What then Simon?”

“That is a good question. There has been an enquiry for you to play a minor role in another period movie. This time it is a straight part and not by Barrington.”

“What about Taylor?”

“He wasn’t mentioned and at present I don’t want you talking to anyone about what I’ve just told you.”

“Not even Tay?”

“Especially Taylor; I have notice you two have become close of late.”

“Yes he has become a good mate.”

“More than a mate I should think. I know about Taylor but didn’t believe you were the type to put his shoes under another man’s bed.”

“Neither did I Simon.”

“So the rumors are true?’

“Building that way but not decided. Does that concern you Simon?”

“As I said I’ve always known about Taylor and it doesn’t worry me, so why should you cause concern. He’s a good kid and I wouldn’t want him hurt so don’t you forget that.”

Alun doesn’t answer. His eyes are staring into the night as a flight of fruit bats circling the property discover the apricot trees in the small orchard.

“Never mind, it doesn’t require an answer and no matter what it may be, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the last few scenes.”

Again Alun remains tacit.

“Goodnight and remember six on the dot; remind Taylor.”

Back in their billet Alun appears bemused.

“What’s up?” Taylor asks.

“I think I just outed us to Simon.”

“How do you mean?”

“I think I told Simon we are in a relationship.”

“What made you do that?”

“Dunno’ it just happened, he said he knew about you and that he thoughts we were more than mates, although he didn’t think I was the kind of bloke who would put his shoes under another man’s bed.”

“How did you answer that?”

“I said it was building that way but not decided.”

“So it is an each way bet – have you decided yet Alun?”

Alun gives a cheeky wink, “I have.”

“Simon has always known about me but I would never believe you would admit anything. Does it concern you?”

“Not at all, to be truthful I think I like the idea but as I suggested, it is best we finish with filming before getting too carried away.”

The following morning’s filming went as planned with the project drawing towards conclusion, having only a number of short scenes to complete. While waiting for a replacement part for one of the cameras to arrive from Stateside, Simon suggested the boys take some time to visit home. For Alun there was the money he had promised to Peter and being a large amount he wished to the transfer in person and not via the net. Taking on Simon’s suggestion Alun finds Taylor doing laps in the resort’s swimming pool. He approaches.

“Hey fish, I’ve got some news.”

Taylor comes to the side of the pool and rests, “what news?”

“Simon said as we can’t do any filming until the new part arrives, we could take some time off.”

“And do what?”

“I have to send Peter some money and I promised mum I would visit. What about you?”

“I would go home but I don’t like springing a surprise visit on mum, as she would panic for not having prior warning so she could do extra shopping.”

“Then come home with me.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Come on, it will only be a couple of days.”

“You only want me there as support.”

“You could always see right through me Tay. Yes support and we could go to a venue or something and call in to see your mother on Sunday before returning here, besides dad won’t be home.”

“My better judgment says no, but alright, although I concern for what your mother will think of me being there, especially after my last visit.”

“By what Peter has said mum is resolve to the fact dad has gone and appears much happier.”

Taylor may have agreed to Alun’s suggestion, as youth and rational often lack prudence and wishing to be with Alun governed out any trait of commonsense, so it was decided.

On arrival in Rochester Alun parked close by the bank, suggesting Taylor find somewhere for lunch while he completed his business and arranged Peter’s transfer. “I won’t be long,” Alun promises as they reach the bank. He enters and is met by the accountant who directed him to a side room. Alun’s business, although in the most had been arranged earlier by telephone, takes the best part of an hour then once finished he is guided to a teller to transfer Peter’s money.

Alun offers up Peter’s account details with his card, “I would like to transfer twenty thousand to that account please.”

The teller gives a slight umm then hesitates.

“What appears to be the problem? Alun asks.

“No problem Mr. Hughes, only such a large amount needs the completion of a declaration for the federal treasury.”

“Why would the government want to know my business?”

“It’s to do with money laundering you may be a drug runner for all I know.”

“Funny fella’; so where do I get the form?”

The teller passes across a form.

“So I simply fill this out?”

“That’s about the strength of it.”

Alun commences to apply the information until he arrives at the amount to be transferred. He enters and vacillates.

“Is there a problem Mr. Hughes?”

“Not as such; if I transferred a hundred grand instead of twenty, would I need to do a separate application?”

“Not unless you are transferring the money overseas.”

Alun strikes out the twenty and changes the amount. He initials the alteration then passes back the application; instead the teller offers a clean form.

“I thought you said it is the same form.”

“I did but there can be no alterations.”

Alun commences to start over.

“If you don’t mind Mr. Hughes could you step aside? You have held up the line long enough and there are others waiting.”

Alun turns and his eyes meet those of three impatient customers, “sorry,” he sheepishly apologizes.

With his business completed Alun leaves the bank finding Taylor seated on a bench close by.

“You took your time.” Taylor says.

“Yes it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be.”

“What wasn’t?”

“I should be receiving a telephone call at any moment.”

“Who from?” As Taylor spoke, Alun’s mobile sounds off in his pocket. He answers, “Peter.”

“Hey Alun the bank has made an error, you better go back and explain.”

“It isn’t an error Peter.”

“But you have transferred a hundred big ones.”

“Isn’t that the amount you require?”

“It is but -,”

Alun cuts his brother short, “no buts Peter.”

“How come?”

“It’s a long story I will explain when I see you.”

“I’ll pay you back as soon as possible; I promise.”

“We’ll also talk about that later, Tay and I am about to have lunch, so I should be home a little before dinner tonight, did you tell mum Tay is coming?”

“I did, she seems okay with it.”

“Maybe I should have thought this one through first.”

“Alun, mum is alright with it, so stop your worrying.”

“Then I’ll see you later this afternoon but I do have on request from you.”

“What would that be?”

“Do you still see dad?”

“About once a fortnight or so, he could be coming by this afternoon; why do you ask?”

“I want you to somehow work the money into the conversation, letting him know where you got it.”

“You know Alun you do have a sadistic streak in your nature,” Peter laughs.

“I do, don’t I.”

For Alun home was never more than his father’s house and he no more than a boarder. If it had been practicable he often mused that David would have them pay board, or like with the university Hecs-help, David would telly the cost of their upbringing to be redeemed at a later time. Alun remembered his first job at fourteen, it was a paper round giving him ten dollars a week, six of which David kept and stopped his pocket money pittance.

Now home Alun felt more uncomfortable than usual, there was Taylor to consider, he should have listened to his friend’s negative approach towards staying, especially after Alun’s previous outburst on his sexuality but Alun had persisted so Taylor agreed to make the visit.

As would be expected Peter was humbled by Alun’s generosity, with Sylvia more concerned how he should spend his earnings from the production, while strongly advising he should be investing, as there wasn’t any guarantee another part would be in the offering. Then as expected Sylvia again continued about Alun’s previous suggestion of sexuality. At first it was innuendo brought on by having Taylor stay, even so she offered the lad obligatory courtesy, then while alone with Alun, Sylvia found voice.

“You father would not approve,” Sylvia says.

“Approve of what?”

“You should be working towards your future, find a nice girl. You should be thinking of settling down.”

“Mum, we are still working on the movie, besides David never approved with anything I did.” Since his parent’s separation Alun had taken to calling his father by his first name and not dad.

“That isn’t true Alun, your father is proud of you boys.”

“If he is then he has a strange way of showing it,” Alun growls his objection as Peter passes by.

“What’s the topic?” Peter asks.

“It never changes in this house – where is Tay?’

“I think he is in your room.”

“Tay,” Sylvia quizzically utters.

“Yes mum, Tay it is short for Taylor.”

“I like it,” Peter admits more in support for Alun than fondness for the name.

“I don’t like shortening people’s names, if god gives you a name it should remain in its entirety.” Sylvia’s opposition was brought about more from Alun’s association with the lad than any religious leaning.

“I thought parents gave kids their names.”

“Christian names are given with god’s grace.” Sylvia says.

“Since when have you been interested in religion mum?”

Peter whispers close to Alun’s ear; “since the old man buggered off – walk with me.”

Alun follows his brother out of the room, “have you seen dad?” he asks.

“Yes that is what I wished to talk about. He was here only an hour or so before you arrived.”

“Did you mention the money?”

“I did,” Peter smirkingly answers.

“What did he say?”

“I told him I got it from you as you suggested. At first he didn’t say anything but it was obvious his brain was ticking over.”

“Good.”

“Eventually his comment was, if Alun has money to chuck into the shit-pan then go for it.”

“You can keep the money Peter.”

“What do you mean?”

“As I said, you can keep it, if you succeed in your little adventure then good, if not I don’t want any of it back.”

“Why?”

Alun almost relents but as the words were forming he drew away as he wasn’t ready to encounter the obvious envy that can occur even within family, there was also the guilt that comes from not sharing his luck. Alun had decided when the time was eventually right, it would firstly be his father who received the good tidings and delivered with a measure of sadistic pleasure.

“It is obvious you don’t want to be questioned on the money but I do concern if you are leaving yourself short – or.”

“Or what Peter?’

“Or it has been gained in some ill-gotten way.”

“I assure you Peter it is Kosher and I’m not leaving myself short.”

“Even so it isn’t every day someone does such a kind act, not even family. I am quite humbled by it all.”

Alun evades further questioning, “How is mum coping with dad gone?”

“She has her days but I think she will be alright. Have you been offer further work?”

“I have and turned it down.”

“Why do that?”

“It was a small part in another period film and Taylor wasn’t considered.”

“Should that matter?”

“To me it does.”

“Are you trying to tell me something Alun?”

“If I was, would it shock you?”

“Probably not.”

“Alun,” Sylvia calls and moments later she arrives at the open door carrying a pot of something from the stove, “will you and your friend be in for dinner?”

“I guess so, or we could all go to Chang’s.”

“There is always plenty Alun, dinner will be about half an hour.”

Dinner was a sobering experience with Sylvia directing most of her conversation towards Alun as if Taylor wasn’t present, avoiding anything that could be associated other that professional between he and Taylor. What was giving Alun discomfort was his mother’s obvious avoidance of speaking directly to Taylor.

Alun held his peace during the main course but when Sylvia ignored a simple question from Taylor during the serving of dessert, it became a place too far and he speaks, “mum Tay has asked you a question,” he says.

“I’m sorry dear, I didn’t hear; what was your question Taylor?”

“That is alright Mrs. Hughes, I was asking -;

Before Taylor could replete his question, Sylvia rises and commences to clear the table. She takes a stacking of plates to the kitchen and on her return she offers coffee.

With his usual carefree attitude Taylor simply smiles and agrees to coffee.

It is Peter who breaks the developing attitude and addresses Alun, “Dianne is leaving Michael.”

“What again; I suppose it’s been coming for a time, where will she be living?”

“She is moving in here with mum, as I’ll be moving out.”

“With the kids?” Alun laughs.

Sylvia releases a noticeable shudder.

“Yep with the kids,” Peter says, “and the third due any time now.”

“What do you think of that mum?”

“It appears the way in this family,” Sylvia suggests, “what about you Alun, have you heard from Jillian?”

“I have.”

“I should think wedding bells will soon be heard.”

“Nope, I’m afraid I’m another family failure, Jillian isn’t the marrying kind.

“Lorraine from the supermarket was asking after you while I was at the shops yesterday. She is such a lovely girl and has perfect manners.”

“I hope you are not matchmaking,” Alun warns.

Sylvia ignores Alun, what about you Peter, you aren’t getting any younger.”

“I haven’t anything positive to report on that matter either.”

“Do you have a girlfriend Taylor?” At last Sylvia issues what she had been building towards.

“Not at present Mrs. Hughes.”

“How old are you Taylor?”

“I’ve recently turned twenty Mrs. Hughes.”

“At your age a handsome young man like yourself should be thinking of settling down.”

“Mum!” Alun protests but Sylvia ignores his objection.

With the coffee over Sylvia all but jumps to her feet, “I should start cleaning, Dianne and the boys will be along first thing tomorrow.”

“I’ll give you a hand with the dishes,” Taylor offers.

“No need. Alun in the morning would you help Peter set up the rooms for Dianne and the boys?”

“We’ll be leaving first thing in the morning.”

It was the first Taylor had heard of their departing and appears confused.

I thought you were staying until Sunday?” Sylvia says.

“Taylor’s mother hasn’t been well, so we will be leaving first thing in the morning.”

Sylvia could be heard in the kitchen. Dish on dish loudly clatter and something falls to the floor sounding like cutlery. Sylvia curses and Peter goes to assist.

Alun is about to look in on his mother to render support when Taylor holds him back with a gentle touch to his arm, “why did you lie?” he asks.

“About what?”

“About leaving tomorrow.”

“I couldn’t stand mum’s innuendoes, or her treatment of you any longer.”

“I’m alright Alun, I’ve had much worse, besides I didn’t find anything she said offensive.”

Alun draws a deep breath, he holds it momentarily before releasing; “no Tay I won’t stand by and listen to someone I care for treated in such a way. I guess I love my parents, you have to don’t you but although you have to love your parents, you don’t have to like them.”

“If that’s your decision, I’ll give mum a call and let her know we are coming earlier than intended.”

A late night drink; something Peter felt he needed to cope with life at the Hughes family residence. While returning to live at home Peter tried to give order to his developing enterprise but too many years being put down by David and lacking support from his mother was strangling his existence and now with his brother’s kindness he could move on and it would be Dianne’s turn to put the pieces of Sylvia back together.

As Peter makes a second scotch Alun approaches and out of character suggests Peter makes him a drink.

“It’s not like you Alun, you are usually a beer man. In my recollection you’ve been enjoying a secret drink since turning fourteen when you got the paper round.”

“I was thinking about the paper round earlier,” Alun recollects.

“Dad took more than half your money.”

“After tonight’s little episode, I think I need more that whisky.”

Peter mixes the drink – “ice?” he offers.

“No ice.”

Peter passes Alun his drink, “where is Taylor?”

“He is calling his mother to let her know we will be arriving earlier than planned.”

“Yes I noticed your little charade at the table, also Taylor’s obvious confusion. He’s a nice kid.”

“I think so.”

“You be sure to keep hold of him and treat him properly, not like how the Hughes family men treat their kind.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I think you know what I mean.”

Gary’s stories are about life for gay men in Australia’s past and present. Your emails to him are the only payment he receives. Email Gary to let him know you are reading: Conder 333 at Hotmail dot Com

16,526 views