Published: 1 Jan 2024

The hours pass and still no sign of Taylor, with a preliminary search done on the edge of the Enfield Forest, until it was too dark to continue further. After contacting the Ballarat police it was decided a further and more extensive search would be made with first light.

Taylor is country smart he’ll be alright. They were Simon’s words but as Alun sat in the dark on his cottage step those words were not convincing. Being country smart wouldn’t help if the horse faltered throwing him to the ground, or a low hanging branch brought him from the saddle. Or – or, or – Alun’s fears were disturbed by the buzzing of his mobile.

“Mum, what’s up at this late hour?”

“You promised to call.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve been busy.” Alun detects a slur in Sylvia’s voice, “is everything alright mum?”

Sylvia begins to cry.

“Mum what’s happened?’”

“Your dad is having an affair.”

Alun becomes silent as he tries to feel empathy but there is nothing. He loves his mother yet he can’t feel sympathy towards the family as a unit and for many years he could see where his parent’s marriage was heading. Now all he could think was, it is for the best, instead he offers false sympathy.

“Have you spoken with Dianne?”

“Your sister has enough problems of her own with that no good husband of hers.”

“What does Peter think?”

“He said it was the best news yet,” Silvia again cries.

“Mum there isn’t anything I can say, only get yourself a good solicitor and go dad for every cent he has.”

Silvia continues sobbing.

Alun attempts condolence but fails, eventually he heartlessly apologizes for his abruptness and ends the call. He retires to bed but cannot sleep, while it is Taylor who is keeping him awake and not the disintegration of his parent’s marriage.

Many times during the night Alun arouses from his troubled sleep. Once and in his underwear he took a short walk along the path leading towards the horse yard. Forgetting his shoes he soon discovered his feet were too tender for the gravel so as quickly he returns. As he approaches the cottage an owl hoots, its silent flight is noted only by the air from its wings while passing close by. The owl lands on the cottage’s brick chimney and hoots once more.

“Aw’ shut it,” Alun growls more to break his developing concern. Once inside he tries reading. It is the next scene they would be performing but it holds too much of Chance’s dialogue and some of it relates to the closeness of Logan and Chance. The reading only increased Alun’s concern, so pacing the script aside he returns to his bed.

Sunup brings a number of vehicles towing horse floats to the property, also two large animated tracker dogs that were immediately taken to the mounting yard; in hope they could follow either the horse or Taylor’s scent. Alun had spent a restless night even so he is eager to join in with the search and is soon directed to dress and mount up. He does so without hesitation and falls in behind the other mounted horsemen, with more joining the search on foot, also a number of forestry vehicles travelling the fire tracks.

As the party reached the property gate, Simon approaches Alun, “will you be alright joining the riding party?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I ask knowing your aversion to riding.”

“I’m fine with simple riding, it’s the gallop that fazes me and I can’t seem to coordinate my arse with the saddle during a trot.”

“Be careful.”

“I will Simon,” Alun releases a cheeky smile as he remembers Oscar Wilde’s adage. He shares the adage, “losing one of your cast could be considered unfortunate, to lose two could be considered careless.”

“It appears you at least know your classics but I repeat – be careful.”

As Simon relates his final concern the forest ranger arrives, “did this young fellow of yours give you any indication of his intended destination?”

“Only he was going to follow the fire track leading towards Wheeler’s Hill as it is believed to have once been a native sacred site with some rock carvings.”

“That is a good ten kilometers of rough terrain without anything to mark direction, did your young man have provisions?”

“I didn’t ask.”

“There isn’t any water between here and Wheelers Hill. I wish you city folk would be more concerning.”

Simon doesn’t respond and is struck with guilt as the ranger calls for progress and the party slowly departs, with Alun appearing somewhat in character bringing up the rear. Simon’s first thought is to contact Barrington but knowing the man’s temperament he decided to wait at least until the search party had returned.

It was quickly discovered the dogs weren’t as successful at tracking horses as they were with people, although they did manage to find Taylor’s scent within half an hour of commencing their search. It was thought Taylor had dismounted to inspect the flower of a rare ground orchid that was close by the fire track then once he remounted there was nothing all the way to Wheeler’s Hill.

On reaching the hill and without further trace of the lad, or direction he may have taken, it was decided to return to base as they would soon be losing the light and as a helicopter had been called for, the search would recommence on the second day.

Simon is found waiting at the gate and from the men’s lack of enthusiasm their failure was obvious. After their return the men gathered to arrange the following day’s continuation, as any further action that night would be impossible. Once the party had departed Simon approaches Alun.

“How is your arse after almost a full day in the saddle?”

“On dismounting, I almost collapsed as my legs felt like jelly.”

“You better get yourself into a hot bath.”

“I will once I’ve eaten something.”

“Did you find any trace of Taylor?”

“Only on one occasion but the dogs were useless and the thinking is he never reached Wheelers Hill.”

“I suppose I’ll have to contact Mr. Barrington.”

“If anything has happened to Taylor, will it affect finishing the film?”

“Affect! Christ Alun we are only half way through filming. It would be financially devastating to replace Taylor as Chance, also all the advanced contract would need to be honoured.”

There was to be rehearsals that evening but under the circumstances they were postponed. After a short meeting with Simon and the crew, Alun returned to the cottage where he attempted to memorise his lines for the coming filming but on reading the same line a half dozen times he gave it away. He puts aside the script and reaches for his mobile.

“Peter.”

“Alun you have saved me a call.”

“Why what’s up?”

“Dad has shacked up with his twenty-something secretary.”

“So he’s left home?”

“He has and mum is swallowing pills as if they are lollies and washing them down with gin.”

“I can’t come home at the moment as we have a crisis of our own here.”

“Yes it was on tonight’s news, reporting one of your actors has gone missing. Don’t worry about mum I’ve come home for a few days and I’ll keep an eye on her.”

“Thanks bro’ what about dad is he at least talking.”

“Shouting I think is the correct description.”

“Then I should think it best he has moved out.”

“He hasn’t entirely, he is occasionally using his home office but when he does he comes through the back and locks the door.”

“Keep me posted.”

“Will do.”

Alun finishes the call with a deep worrying sigh.

If there was a corner for peace in Alun’s mind he could not find it. Instead of attempting sleep to prepare for the morning and the renewed search, he collects a beer and takes a seat on the cottage step. The night was overcast although the clouds were travelling quickly, promising a clear sky and a hot day to follow. Alun began to run some of Logan’s dialogue through his brooding as the first stars came from behind a dark banking. Alun becomes Logan and pining for his friend. “That isn’t in the script,” he quietly says, finishes his beer and goes for a second. He returns to his spot on the step, ‘Chance was never lost. Chance was much too savvy to lose his way.’ His thinking becomes further negative, ‘what if he has had a fall and is injured.’ Such thoughts are self perpetuating and Alun forces the negativity away. Eventually he fights his remorse, finished his beer and retires in an attempt to sleep.

Firstly the new day brought the birds with their cheerful disregarding choir, then with the sun painting treetops with morning glow a line of vehicles arrived at the property. Quickly everybody prepared for a hopeful outcome while from the direction of Ballarat the sound of a chopper is heard, it circled the property before finding a clearing by the dam. Without delay a meeting of horsemen, pilot and men on foot is called with much deliberation towards the best way to find Taylor. It had been a warm night yet even without water, as long as Taylor hadn’t met with a fall or worse, he should survive the elements but it was well known when lost many simply walk in ever increasing circles, until exhaustion takes away the will to go on.

Simon met with the search party and being a stranger to the bush feels helpless, as were most of the crew and cast. While listening to the men and their design, he spies Alun coming from his cottage.

“You should have called me,” Alun stretches and yawns as he approaches.

“They said it would be quicker without your help as you only slow them down.”

“Thank you Simon for the vote of confidence but I should do something.”

“Don’t be hurt lad as it is the same with me, it is best we leave the search to the experts.”

“Did you call Mr. Barrington?”

“I didn’t need to as he saw the news last night and called me.”

“What did he say?”

“He said wait and see the outcome but by his tone he wasn’t happy.”

With final instructions given the party commenced to depart. They had barely passed through the property gave before a lone horseman is spotted approaching from the direction of the Garibaldi road. At first it is believed to be a late arrival for the search but as the rider further makes his approaches a sigh of relief lifts from those present. It is Taylor.

The party waits patiently for Taylor to arrive and by appearance he seems untroubled from his adventure. Taylor reaches the first in the group and dismounts. “What’s the go?” he asks, believing the gathering to be part of filming, although he was somewhat confused with the helicopter, considering it may be for aerial filming but there were drones for that.

“What’s the go?” Taylor asks.

“Is your name Taylor Hardwick?”

“That’s me but what with the posse?”

“To search for you,” the team leader says, “stand down,” he loudly calls then returns his attention to Taylor, “where have you been?”

“I got lost.”

“Obvious.”

“I forgot to take my mobile with me and once in the forest I could no longer see Wheeler’s Hill as a landmark.”

“You city types should keep out of places you don’t know but how did you find your way out?”

“I simply kept heading east until I reached the Hardies Hill road and from there the country was familiar.”

“It is a wonder you knew what direction east was.”

“Lichen – I remembered it grew on the weather side of trees and down here that would be on the south side, so by keeping the lichen on my left and with the direction of the sunrise, I would be heading east towards Hardies Hill road.

“A little abstract but next time let people know where you’re heading and at least take water, or better still don’t go off the main roads. This little venture of yours has been expensive on the public purse.”

“Sorry.”

The team leader allows the apology to pass without comment and after a short debriefing he again approaches Taylor suggesting he should see a doctor.

“Why? I’m fine,”

“Precaution, if something comes from your ordeal I don’t wish to be held responsible for your condition.”

“I assure you I’m fine, except for being embarrassed for putting you all to so much trouble and sleeping rough in the bush, which was no more discomforting then the camping weekends I endured as a boy.

The team leader turns to Simon, “I’ll be off now and leave Taylor in your care.”

After a feed and shower Taylor returns to the cottage where he finds Alun waiting. He is hardly through the door before Alun shows a rare display of emotion, as he throws his arms around Taylor in embrace.

“What’s that for?” Taylor appears confused.

“I was worried for your safety that is all.”

“I was never in any danger and except for sleeping close to a bull ant’s nest and a few ant bites it wasn’t a bad night.”

“You do realise you got Simon into trouble with Barrington.”

“What did Simon have to say?”

“I think he was too concerned to say anything, if you came to grief the film would end up in the trash can.”

“Yet here I am.”

“I had a dream last night,” Alun says.

“What was it about?”

“It was weird, I was Logan and you were Chance and I lost you during a flood while trying to rescue cattle.”

“That isn’t in the script.”

“I realise it isn’t but of late a lot of my dreaming appears to be about our two imaginary friends all of which isn’t in the script.”

“Does your dreaming worry you?”

“It confuses more than worries, when I’m awake the dreams seem to linger through the day but more as a surge of emotion than any feeling of reality.”

“Do you feel you should see someone about it?”

“There isn’t anything a shrink can tell me that I don’t know myself, I’ll work through it eventually.”

“Did the kid who is to play Gilbert turn up?”

“He did and will be given introduction later today. I’ve only seen him at distance and in my opinion he has the appearance of a kid from the colonies. What made you go off on your own like that?”

“I simply needed a little time away from the set.”

“Is it anything to do with filming?”

“No Alun.

“Then what is worrying you?”

“I need to work through a few things, mostly mum hasn’t been well of late and has trouble keeping house on her own. Possibly I will need to move back home after the filming is done.”

“If offered wouldn’t you take another part?”

“I don’t think so, as I’ve said in the past, I only took on the role as a favour to Mr. Barrington.”

“What would you like to do?”

“Unfortunately what I would like isn’t entirely up to me.”

“You are talking in riddles.”

“Alun all these questions isn’t like you, can we give it a miss for now.”

Gary’s stories are about life for gay men in Australia’s past and present. Your emails to him are the only payment he receives. Email Gary to let him know you are reading: Conder 333 at Hotmail dot Com

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