Published: 2 Oct 2023

If sharing a bed with Taylor had been concerning for Alun, now back on the set it appeared not to be so. If anything it had brought the boys closer. What did concern Alun was a deep wave of emotion he was developing towards the character of Logan as if he and Logan were folding into one character, like one would blend the mixture of a meringue; gently and absolute. Often he would look upon the country that was once colonial goldfields and feel the past coming to life, while sensing movement among the trees of the adjoining forest and hearing the cried of joy when the majesty of the colour yellow came up from the ground, with many sharing the good fortune and others displaying envy to the few.

Alun’s sensations were strongest when visiting the theme park of Sovereign Hill, a tourist attraction close to Ballarat, with its diggings and colonial buildings. While there his imagination could run free, with many hired to dress accordingly and live the golden days as closely as possible to the colonial past.

There was another change in Alun, being his fear of horses and although there wasn’t any riding scenes for some time; he and Taylor rode for relaxation. Often their ride would be in the extensive forest that bordered the property on two sides, or following the creek from the bridge past the neighboring property with its small flock of sheep.

It was the third day after the boys returned from their city break, when Simon decided to experiment different camera angles by using the neighbour’s sheep as subject. It was obvious the footage could not be used in the finish product, as the McGregor property was designed to be among the undulating hills in the New England area of New South Wales, not with the southern forests of Victoria forming background.

With the lighting perfect and enough cloud cover to dilute any glair, Simon had Michael Long set up his camera close to the fenceline of the neighbour’s property, being cautious not to encroach onto the farmer’s land. The camera had just commenced rolling when Bill Harris was spied coming from one of his sheds and by his resolve most displeased with the procedure.

“What do you think you are doing?” Harris loudly shouts as he approaches. His arms waving with obvious intention as he stumbled to the ground through too much haste to issue his displeasure. Harris rises to his feet then continues on towards the intrusion, his face so red with anger he appeared on the verge of having a stroke.

“Good morning Mr. Harris,” Simon softy greets attempting to keep any developing conversation civil, “we were running some test footage of your sheep.”

“I don’t think so.” Harris snaps catching his wheezing breath from his exertion.

“We could pay you for the use.”

“That’s typical of you city lot, you think you can have anything you want by throwing money at it.”

“I assure you Mr. Harris we didn’t mean to intrude onto your privacy.”

“Bugger off and if I hear you have used my property in your film, I’ll have you in court.”

Although their action would not be indictable, Simon signals Michael to stop filming and reattempts to bring civility to the conversation but Harris wasn’t in any mood for pleasantries.

“Another thing, I don’t want your lot riding through my property along the creek and fouling the water, that part from the bridge to the first bend is on my land,” Harris warns.

“Your fenceline is back from the creek by a good thirty meters Mr. Harris.”

“I have water rights, so it is my land.”

“Right you are, I will advise the lads to keep away. Is there anything we can do to ease our presence Mr. Harris?” Simon quietly offers.

“Yes clear out. We don’t need you buggering up the roads with your trucks coming and going at any time day and night, sending dust over everything and soiling the washing. The missus has a weak ticker and the noise is keeping her from resting.”

As the encounter concluded the boys arrived giving Harris fresh voice.

“What’s going on?” Taylor quizzically asks Simon.

“That’s them,” Harris shouts while pointing an accusing finger at the boys, “if you know what’s good for you – keep them off my land, or I’ll set the dogs onto them!”

Both lads appeared confused and as Alun is about to retaliate, Simon interjects.

“Leave off lads, go look in on the horses; I’ll speak with you later.”

During the afternoon Harris kept obvious vigilance at his property boundary with Simon deleting the footage taking of the farmer’s sheep, deciding it wasn’t useful and best not to antagonize the man further.

On their way back from the horse yards the boys are met by Freddy from lighting and Rodney the set designer and general odd-body. The two are viewing something on Freddy’s mobile phone and appear most entertained.

“Have you seen the latest on Twitter?” Freddy calls. Both are laughing while Rodney parts his hands as if relating to a measurement. “Wacka wacka wacka,” he loudly exclaims his signature-call.

“I guess I haven’t seen anything, why do you always make that stupid comment Rod?” Alun says.

“Because I can.”

“The two of you are famous,” Freddy declares.

“How so?”

“There are a couple of photos of you on Twitter.”

“So?”

“Naked as the day you were born.”

“How?”

“Obviously one of the crew took his phone onto set during the filming your nude swimming scene.

“Shit Barrington will be spitting chips,” Alun fears.

Freddy gives contradiction, “not from you being naked but they mentioned his film and he was trying to keep the wraps on it until it is in the can.”

“Have you seen the photographs?” Alun cheeks are flushing crimson.

“What do you think I’m looking at, there is a full frontal of you and a side glance of Taylor but in both cases nothing is left to imagination.”

“Big.” Rodney says this time using his parted index fingers at a good twenty centimeter to describe Alun’s appendage, “I exaggerate of course.”

“I dunno’ wacka, it could be even more, go get a ruler and we’ll make a quick measurement of his dong,” Freddy contradicts.

“Don’t be so fucken’ childish,” Alun growls.

“Who posted the photos?” Taylor asks although he doesn’t appear to be all that fazed with the posting.

“There was more than a dozen on set, not counting the natives but seeing the natives were from the bush, possibly they didn’t have mobile phones and in their almost naked state not a lot of places to hid one,” Freddy suggests.

“Don’t you believe it Freddie I saw at least three using mobiles,” Taylor contradicts.

“Not happy!” Alun growls out his discontent.

“Why worry, it is free advertising,” Freddy laughs, you’ll have the chicks lining up for a gawk.

“You don’t have an old man who already thinks what I do is porn,” Alun discredits.

“Do you want to see them?” Freddy passes his phone. “It maybe a little hazy but it is definitely you Alun and the one of Taylor is as clear as a bell.”

“How can I get it deleted?” Alun passes the phone to Taylor.

“Obviously you don’t understand the internet you wacka,” Rodney expresses, “by now they would have been shared a thousand times and by dinner tonight, millions.”

“Do you think so?” Alun haplessly queries.

“I know so.”

“I thought Twitter had some sort of algorithm that stopped unwanted postings,” Taylor assumes.

“Not since Elon Musk bought Twitter and sacked half its staff,” Rodney explains.

Freddy is enjoying Alun’s distress, “don’t worry within a week everyone will have lost interest but you do look a little excited so you may become some gay fella’s’ pin up boy.”

“Thanks a lot, it’s the old man I’m concerned with and mum,” Alun takes a deep breath and returns to their room with intention to contact his brother Peter. He doesn’t have to make the call as soon as he enters his mobile sounds.

Alun checks the caller, it is his brother Peter.

“Peter,” Alun nervously speaks.

“Hi porn star – great pics’ bro’;” Peter is laughing.

“It isn’t funny. I should sue the bastard who posted them.”

“I wouldn’t bother you would be laughed at for being so sensitive.”

Alun’s tone is cautions, “has the old man seen them?”

“Has he seen them you ask? He was the one who told me.”

“He doesn’t use Twitter.”

“No but his mates kids do and Len Clarke was on the blower to him first thing this morning, there is nothing Clarke enjoys more since their spit over dad losing the club presidency, than to rub dad’s nose into something. I wouldn’t come home at the moment, the old man has the tar and feathers ready.”

“Or ever,” Alun’s voice is but a whisper.

“Don’t concern too much most of your mates are having a good laugh and think you are a hero. Laurie Whitten’s girlfriend said she is now sorry she turned you down for Laurie.”

“You’ve spoken with her?”

“And others my phone has been running hot for most of the morning. As I said you’re a hero bro’.”

Alun releases a long depressing sigh, “I suppose I should speak with mum.”

“Leave off for now, I’ll have a word with her and explain the situation. As for dad, let him stew, he wouldn’t listen anyway.”

“It was supposed to be a closed set for the scene,” Alun protests.

“I would say it is similar to there is never such a thing as a dead microphone during an interview.”

True – oh well, I’ll have to live with it.”

Coming away from his call with Peter, Alun again meets up with Taylor and explains the situation at home.

“How do you feel about it?” Taylor asks.

“I can’t say it’s the highlight of my acting career. What about you?”

“I’m a little more pragmatic than you Alun and seeing the pics weren’t of my doing then it isn’t my problem.”

“What about your mother?” Alun asks.

“She doesn’t have a smart phone or internet, besides I believe my parents met at Nimbin during some flower festival reunion and if they were teenagers in the sixties they would have been called hippies.”

“You seldom mention your parents, what of your father.”

“No reason except he wasn’t around, possibly you never ask or I would have said, as I don’t have any skeletons in the closet,” Taylor pauses with a grin, “possibly there is one skeleton but for now I’ll leave it there.”

“You won’t share it?”

“Not unless you push me to.”

“No I wouldn’t do that Taylor.”

During the concern brought about by his father discovering the photographs Alun completely forgot Jillian. Once alone he calls her at rehearsals.

“Have you seen them?” He asks even before he gives the mandatory greeting.

“Do you mean the photographs on Twitter?”

“Yes them.”

“Are they supposed to be promotion material for the movie?”

“Funny girl!”

“Things’ happen Alun; you simply have to move on. Only last week one of the extras was pinged with her top down, fortunately the picture was too blurred to recognize her. I must admit Taylor is a big boy.”

“Huh!”

“I’ve hurt your feelings, you are bigger.”

“I thought you said women aren’t interested in size?”

“As you would know it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind.”

“Doesn’t the posting worry you?” Alun asks.

“Why should it. The girls here at rehearsals are all jealous.”

“Dad knows about the photos,” Alun says.

“I can guess what his reaction would be, how did you discover David saw the photos.”

“Peter gave me a call.”

“Then why worry?”

“I am concerned how Barrington will react. Possible he will blame me for the posting.”

“Why should he? If anything the blame would be with the director for not keeping a closed set for the scene.”

“Maybe.”

“Don’t worry Alun but I know your nature, you will stress all week over it.”

During the early evening a Bentley pulled up outside the main house– It is Barrington. Firstly he called on Simon Fowler then after a good hour he arrived at the boy’s billet and entered without announcement. The boys are silently seated at the kitchen table with anticipation etched across their expressions.

“Well,” Barrington says.

“I’m sorry Mr. Barrington,” Alun quickly gives apology.

“What are you apologizing for Alun?”

“For the pictures on the internet.”

“Did you leak them Alun?”

“Of course I didn’t,” Alun is offended by the suggestion.

“Therefore don’t apologize, besides we have a fair idea who did and will deal with him in good time. What does concern me, is your mental state and if you will to continue with the filming.”

“I’m alright. Not happy with it but otherwise okay.”

“What about you Taylor?”

“Mr. Barrington, you should know me better than to worry about a few photographs.”“Yes Taylor I do.”

“Will it cause any further problem?” Alun asks.

“I can’t see why, it didn’t do Ledger and Gyllenhaal harm when their nude swim from Brokeback was released,” Barrington admits.

“It didn’t hurt Harry’s reputation either,” Taylor says.

“Who is Harry?” Alun asks.

“Prince Harry, when someone released his naked romp during a party in Las Vegas.”

“Are there any other problems?” Barrington asks.

“Except for my old man all but disowning me, I’m okay.”

“Is you father unhappy with you taking the part?”

“Unhappy is an understatement.”

“Will that prevent you from continuing?”

“No Mr. Barrington, as Taylor keeps reminding, I am my own keeper and strong enough to weather anything he can throw at me.”

Barrington commences to leave but pauses, “I’ll be off. If any further problem arises be sure to let Simon know, other than that we will be seeing you both at Eden next Thursday.”

“Yes Mr. Barrington, I am looking forward to the trip.”

“Have you been on a ship before?”

“Yes my partner and I took a holiday to Tasmania on the Princess of Tasmania.”

Barrington laughs, “and you were violently sea sick I believe.”

“How did you know Mr. Barrington?”

“Taylor told me.”

Alun comically turns to Taylor, “big mouth.”

Taylor ignores Alun’s comment as his interest is more with the trip to Eden, “How do we travel to Eden?” he asks.

“You will be driven to Ballarat airport Thursday morning and a light aircraft will be ready to fly you to Eden. Alun I hope you don’t get air sickness as well.”

“Not so far Mr. Barrington.

With Barrington departed the boys become animated with the thought of flying, while swapping earlier and limited experiences. Neither had been in a small aircraft, although both had holidayed in Queensland’s tropical north travelling in a crowded jet without window seats. As the conversation dwindled Alun took on a concerned appearance.

“You’ve gone strange all of a sudden,” Taylor says.

“I have just remembered something.”

“Go on.”

“Last night I had a weird dream.”

“Was I in it?” Taylor laughs.

“Yes and no.”

“Now I am interested.”

“I dreamed I met Logan and he asked me what it was like to be him.”

“You mean play him?”

“No, he definitely said be him. I did suggest play him but he told me to look in the mirror, then from nowhere there was a full length mirror. When I took a look I noticed the image wasn’t me.’

“What did Logan look like?”

“I can’t rightly say, only the image in the mirror definitely wasn’t me.”

“Was he cute?’

“Cute you say?”

“Good looking.”

“That I don’t know, I can only say it wasn’t my reflection in the mirror, although the reflection was dressed in the same period costume I would have been wearing.”

“You said I was in your dream?”

“Yes Logan called Chance over to meet me. The mirror disappeared and chance was you and you were standing beside Logan with a silly grin on your face. I said Taylor what are you doing here, you said Logan don’t you recognize me, it’s Chance, then both you and Logan commenced to laugh.”

“How can you dream you are Logan while he is also in the dream and with you?”

“Did I say the dream made sense?”

“Did Logan give you any advice?”

“No, the next thing I was swimming in some river and the entire film crew, including Simon and Mr. Barrington were lined along the bank taking pictures of me and laughing.”

“Were you naked in the dream?”

“I felt embarrassed enough to be but I can’t remember that part.”

“Dreams are like that.”

“Do you dream?” Alun asks.

“Everybody dreams only some don’t remember.”

“There is something else,” Alun says.

“Go on.”

“It isn’t part of the dream only I felt weird when I woke up. I didn’t remember the dream until now, as it was something Mr. Barrington said that sparked it off.”

“You say weird.”

Alun takes a deep breath, “forget it. I can’t put it into words anyway.”

What Alun couldn’t put into words being he felt he was becoming Logan. It was as if Logan’s character was inside him and attempting to find its way out and with each period of filming the feeling increased.

Soon the incident relating to the leaked photographs had become passé but not that of whom was the perpetrator. There were suspicions but like most incidents they were unfounded, brought about by some of the crew’s dislike for their fellow associate. Alun had once again contacted Peter who assured their mother had not seen the photographs, her knowledge being what David had told her, as for David he had taken on his usual bluster of innuendo and blame while strengthening his resolve against Alun’s acting career.

During Thursday’s breakfast as the crew and cast were making ready to be transported to Eden in New South Wales for filming of the boy’s travel by ship to the gold fields. Simon enters the dining room and after casting an eye over those who are seated he approaches and speaks to Michael Long.

“Michael, could I have a word with you?”

“Yes Simon.”

Both move out of hearing.

“What do you think that’s about?” Alun quietly asks Taylor.

“I don’t know, possibly it’s about transporting the equipment.”

“The filming gear left by road yesterday and Michael and the crew will be travelling in a second aircraft before we leave this afternoon. I wouldn’t think it is to do with the equipment and Simon does appear serious.”

Taylor simply shrugs away Alun’s interest as Simon draws Michael aside then after a short conversation, Michael’s appearance turns a ghostly white and with further words from Simon, Michael departs company.

Gary’s stories are about life for gay men in Australia’s past and present. Your emails to him are the only payment he receives. Email Gary to let him know you are reading: Conder 333 at Hotmail dot Com

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