Dogs of War

Published: 15 Feb 2018

From Changing Connections 27: A call came to the Command Center from Janet. “Eve. Can you spare Logan, right away? It’s very important.” She noted that Janet’s voice seemed off somehow. “Is there a problem?”

“No, definitely not. Please keep this to yourself, but Adam is alive.”

“What?! How, where?!”

“Shh! Don’t say anything, he knows you’re in the middle of an operation and doesn’t want to disturb you. So don’t tell the UNIT yet. He’s hurt and just arrived here. I didn’t even know about it until they brought him to me. But he’s alive. For now, can you please send Logan to me? Tell him that Doctor Ziegler wants to check his progress. She noticed that he seemed to be getting better and wants to take a look at him.”

“Okay. I will tell him.” She noticed that Logan and the Chipmunks were looking at her because of her outburst. “What was that about?” She looked at Logan. “Nothing really. It was Doctor Hayes. She requested that you meet her and Doctor Ziegler. They noticed your increased mobility and wanted to give you a quick check up.” She looked at the monitors. “I believe we can spare you for a few minutes at the moment.” Logan looked at Eve. It seemed to him that she was hiding something. He didn’t know what it was, but knew she was being a little secretive. Eve cocked an eyebrow at him. “Well? The doctors are waiting! The sooner you go, the sooner you can get back. If something comes up, we will call you.” Logan frowned a little as he stood up and left the room. She looked at the Chipmunks who were still looking at her. Waiting for more information. She met their eyes, but said nothing. They turned around and got back to work monitoring the progress of the operation.

Logan shook his head as he slowly walked towards the front of the building. Mom had been off at the base hospital setting up for wounded. They had a wing closed off just for her needs, with only those with high security clearances being allowed to help if needed. He wasn’t sure why she wanted him, but he knew it had nothing to do with Sabrina. She knew there was a mission going on, and would never pull him from it just to check how he was doing. If his telepathy were fully back, he would know already, but it wasn’t, and hell even when it did come back, he really doubted he would ever be as strong as he had been. Hell he couldn’t even trust it yet. What he was feeling wasn’t possible, so there was still something wrong with him.

He just hoped it wasn’t more bad news. He was just about to his breaking point with bad news. After Adam’s death, he just couldn’t deal with much more. No one really knew it, but he was close to giving up. The UNIT had been his life. Honestly, before he met Adam, yeah he’d been doing lots of things, had some amazing powers, and was smart as hell, but it was Adam, what Adam showed him, and what Adam forged him into that really gave him purpose.

Now, they were in a strange universe, with very few of his family around, and now with the loss of Adam… he just didn’t know if he could go on… if he wanted to go on. He shook his head as he slowly got into one of the hummvees that the base was letting them use, and started to drive towards the base hospital. Gods he couldn’t handle much more.

He didn’t really remember the drive there, but as he pulled up, he saw a helicopter a short ways away, and a group of soldiers and civilians milling about outside. Part of him wanted to go over and see who they were, and why they were there, mainly to put off whatever was waiting for him inside. Hell he even took a few steps before he stopped himself. As Adam always said, putting off hearing bad news doesn’t make hearing it any easier.

He stopped at the door to the hospital, took a deep breath, then opened it up and walked inside. He was only slightly surprised by how quiet it was. He’d almost expected some type of disaster situation where Mom wanted him to assist her in something. Yeah he had the same medical training as the rest of the Unit, but his mom knew that he really didn’t have the stomach for it.

“Excuse me? Are you Logan Hayes?” Logan turned and saw a male nurse walking towards him at a brisk pace.

“Yes.” Logan said hesitantly.

“Good. Please follow me. Doctor Hayes and Doctor Ziegler asked to have you brought up right away.”

“What’s going on?” Logan asked as he hurried as best he could to keep up with the man.

“I’m really not sure. All I know is that a patient was brought in, in pretty bad condition, and then I was asked to escort you to the operating prep room immediately. Other than that, I don’t know anything.”

“Do you know who?”

“Sorry sir.” The man shook his head as he walked into an elevator that was already open. He flipped a switch, inserted a key, and hit a floor button. “I didn’t even see the patient.”

They rode the rest of the way in silence, then the man escorted him down the hallway and through another door that he had to use his badge to open. Through another hallway where he stopped next to a door labeled ‘prep’. “Here you go sir, I don’t have clearance to go any further.”

“Thank you.” Logan took another deep breath before he pushed the door open and walked in. At first he wasn’t sure he was in the right place, because no one was there. Then he heard his mom speaking from around a corner. “This is gonna be one of the toughest sets of surgeries I’ve ever done. I’m really glad you’re here Sabrina.”

“Well, as you’ve said before, I always love a challenge.” Sabrina said. Logan heard water running, so he guessed they were scrubbing up for whatever surgery they were talking about.

He started to move towards the room when he heard Joe speak up. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

He heard a bit of laughter from his mother, and knew her well enough to know she was nervous. “Not really. I mean I would love another doctor or two for this, but none of the doctors here know anything about his physiology. The only doctor I would trust in the military is McCray, but he’s not here…”

“What’s going on?” Logan asked, as he walked around the corner.

Joe looked at Logan and sighed. “I’ll go see what I can find out about how he got here.”

“I’ll go start mapping out the injuries.” Sabrina said, and it was obvious they were leaving Janet and Logan alone.

“Logan.” Janet said as she moved slowly towards him, then put her hands on his shoulder. “Logan. I don’t have very long, but you deserved to be here for this.”

“For what?” He asked softly, not wanting to think about who else was lost. He could not handle loosing someone else. “Daileass?” Oh God, losing his brother, his clone. No… he couldn’t.

“It’s not Daileass. He’s fine last I checked. No. Logan I wish I had time to break this to you gently, but it’s Adam. He’s alive…. Barely.” It was a good thing she was ready for it, cause Logan’s knees buckled.

“What…. Adam?” She lowered him to the floor, and went down with him, holding onto him the entire time.

“I have no idea how, I have no idea what happened, but a bunch of people showed up, and they had Adam with them. He’s bad… really bad. Sabrina and I are going to do everything we can…”

“I need to see him.” Logan said as he tried to struggle to his feet.

“No…” Janet shook her head holding him down to the floor. “We don’t have time. From what I saw he shouldn’t be alive. But he is.”

“Can I at least see him or something… I need to know…” Again Logan struggled to his feet, this time Janet helped him up.

“Oh, alright. Come on… I can give you a few seconds as we prep him.” Janet said as she helped Logan out of the room and next door.

Logan gasped as he saw Adam lying on his stomach; all of his clothing had been removed, Sabrina gently scrubbing his back, what was left of it. He tried to move forward, but Janet held him back. “You can’t get too close.”

“Adam…” Logan squeaked out. The sheer amount of metal sticking out of his lover’s back, and side, made his stomach turn. But then he saw Adam open his eyes, and he got to see those beautiful, expressive grey eyes again. Eyes he had known he would never see again. His lover smiled slightly, then his mouth moved. While Logan couldn’t hear anything from this far away he was able to read Adam’s lips. “I told you I’d never leave you.” His eyes closed then, and Janet pulled Logan back into the other room.

“I need to get in there. I know you’re not leaving, but through that door you can watch if you want to. I’ll tell you now, this will be rough on everyone.”

Logan looked up at his mother, tears streaming down his face. “Go.” He said softly, and as Janet started to walk away Logan grabbed her arm. “Mom save him please.” They locked eyes; her only response was to nod, turn, and walk away. Logan looked up at the ceiling and started to pray as he heard the door close.

He quickly made his way to the gallery, not caring that his legs protested at the fast movement. He stood against the glass watching as they started to work on Adam. He wasn’t sure how long it was before they started to cut into Adam’s back. He saw Adam twitch slightly, and a sob escaped his lips.

He knew that no matter what drugs Janet used, Adam’s healing was too good for them to put him fully under. Sabrina stepped back and asked Janet something. He couldn’t hear what it was, but then Sabrina pulled out her handheld, passed it over Adam. Logan was about to wonder what happened, when he suddenly stopped feeling something in his mind. It took him a few seconds to realize that, deep in his subconscious, he was feeling Adam, sort of. Now though he couldn’t. He started to panic when he looked at the monitors. He was still alive, but sleeping deeply. Sabrina must have, somehow, put Adam fully under.

Logan couldn’t help but chuckle, the stress making his mind go in weird ways. “Dr. McCray would have loved to have that when Jory got hurt…” He stopped as he looked down at Adam… “Wait.. Dr. McCray…” Remembering that his mom had said that he was the only doctor she would trust to help with Adam, Logan turned and walked from the room as fast as he could.

When he got back to the building they were using, he moved as quickly as he could to the command center. When he walked in, he saw all eyes move to him. He could tell by the look in his brothers’ eyes they didn’t know what was going on, but seeing the look of sympathy in Eve’s he knew that she knew. He motioned her off to the side, and she slid off her headset, stood and walked over.

“How is he?” She asked very softly.

Logan shook his head slowly, and she closed her eyes. “Can you do me a favor?” he asked. Eve opened her eyes and nodded. “I need you to run some back channels through the military and get a message to Doctor McCray on the USS Ronald Reagan. Tell him Mom needs his help with this.”

“Say no more.” Eve reached out and tentatively gave Logan a hug, then turned quickly back to her desk. By the time she slipped her headset back on, Logan was walking from the room.

As much as the curiosity was killing Joe, he knew he had to do this right. He took a few moments to stop by where they were staying, and change into a clean uniform. After that, it didn’t take him too long to find out where the group was being housed, and make his way over. Stopping in front of the chapel, he took a moment to get his emotions under control, and try to get his mind off of Adam’s surgery. He knew if he was there, he would just be in the way. At least by doing this, he can fill in the huge gaps as to what happened after the explosion.

As he walked into the building, he nodded to the soldier standing there. He was glad that the Army had someone standing by in case this group needed anything. “Private.” Joe said in way of greeting, even as the soldier snapped to attention.

“Sir.” The young man said crisply.

“Where might I find Sheriff O’Donnell, Lieutenant Davis, and Sergeant Slager?” Joe asked with a smile.

“They are in the conference room, sir.” The soldier said quickly. “Would you like me to lead you there?”

“Please.”

“Right this way sir.” Joe nodded to himself as he followed the soldier down the corridor. Even though he’d spent his life in the military, and dedicated everything he had to it, he had to agree with the boys, the military in this universe certainly had a harder edge than where they were from.

The private nodded to a door, then opened it up to allow Joe to enter. As soon as he walked into the room, the lieutenant jumped to his feet, and called the room to attention. “As you were guys.” Joe said to the three men that were standing with the lieutenant, as well as the few others in the room.

Walking over to the table the men shared, Joe stretched out his hand to Davis with a smile. “Don’t worry, I’m not with the US Military.” He saw the man visibly relax, and smiled again. “My name is Major Joseph Casey, UNIT Command.”

“Casey…” Sheriff O’Donnell said slowly. “As in the.. General we came up here with.”

Slowly Joe nodded. “Yes. He is my son.” Joe hesitated for a moment, then looked each of the men in the eyes. Joe felt his eyes begin to water, which he fought against and said, “Thank you for that.”

The three men simply nodded, as they watched Joe get his emotions back under control. It only took a moment before Joe nodded for them to sit. “Besides being here to thank you, I was hoping you could tell me what happened, and how you came to find Adam.”

“Could you tell us who you guys are first?” Lt. Davis asked softly.

Joe shook his head and sighed. “Not as of yet. Even our existence is classified.”

Lt. Davis sighed, then, getting nods from the others, launched into the story on how they left their base, met up with Sheriff O’Donnell, and then found and rescued ‘the pilots’.

Joe sat there for a few minutes after Lt. Davis got done. He didn’t even realize when the youngest of the men got up, and stepped away from the table. Moments later he was back with four large mugs full of coffee. Joe accepted his, dressed it the way he liked, and then sat there sipping for almost five minutes as he digested the hour long story. “That’s a lot to take in…” Joe finally said, to which the other men all nodded and agreed.

He was silent for a short time longer before he finally sighed and nodded, more to himself than to anyone else. He met each man’s eyes before he spoke. “What I am about to tell you is need to know only. The only reason I’m going to share this with you is because you need to know why certain things are going to happen.” He paused as he met the sheriff’s eyes. “Especially to your son Sheldon.”

“Sheldon?” Both the sheriff and the other young man said at the same time.

Joe nodded while taking a deep breath. “Please believe me when I say it’s nothing bad, but you need to know why.”

Sheriff O’Donnell took a deep breath of his own, trying to steady his nerves before he spoke. “Sheldon is not doing very well right now, mentally that is. He’s only sixteen, and he’s had to do things that are, well frankly, weighing very heavily on him.”

“I understand.” Joe said with a sympathetic nod. “Trust me, he will get more, and better help than even the US Military would be able to give.”

“How’s that?” The young man asked, and for the first time, Joe really looked at him. It only took him a moment to realize that this must be the sheriff’s older son, and being dressed the way he was, he was also a member of the military.

Joe couldn’t help but snicker softly. “That will take awhile to fully explain, but I promise you, you all and Sheldon, have final say over almost everything from this point forward.” He raised his hand to forestall any other questions, and he figured out where to start.

“I guess to begin with, I should tell you that Sheldon is actually older than the majority of the UNIT…” For the next hour it was their turn to be shocked at what Joe said.

Logan got back to the hospital, but couldn’t bring himself to just stay and watch, he was too much of a do-er. He knew his mom and Sabrina were working as hard and fast as they could, but he couldn’t watch.

He had no clue how long he wandered around the hospital, but finally he stopped and looked at a closed door with a cross on it. He slowly pushed the door to the chapel open and was relieved to see it empty. He knew some in the UNIT were religious, and with some of the shit he saw in the other universes he believed in a God, but, he’d never spent much time in a church, or really praying, but now… now he needed it.

He moved to the front of the small room and sat down in the front pew. He stared at the figure of Jesus hanging on the cross, and just let his mind wander. He wasn’t sure if he needed to pray, or just think, so he thought. Since God knew all, he would know what Logan was thinking, and that’s all Logan needed.

“Mind if I sit here?” A strange voice made Logan jump a little. “Oh sorry.”

Logan looked up and saw a boy, a bit younger than he was, looking down at him. “It’s okay.” Logan said softly. “Go ahead,” he said as he shuffled down the bench a bit, making enough room for the boy to sit next to him.

They both sat there for a while, not saying anything. Finally, the boy spoke without looking to Logan. “Do you think there really is a plan for everyone?”

Logan looked over at the boy and saw his green eyes locked on the same statue that Logan was fixated on. He looked up and sighed. “I really don’t know.” Logan’s voice faltered as he thought about Adam, several floors above him. His mom and Sabrina fighting to save his life. Was this a plan? Logan didn’t know. “But I mean if there isn’t… what the fuck’s the point, right?”

“I guess.” The boy agreed, and they both fell silent again.

“I just wish I knew.” The boy said several minutes later. “I just wish I knew if what I’m doing is what I’m supposed to be doing. I wish I knew if killing those people made a difference for anyone else. A good difference, you know?”

Logan couldn’t help a bitter chuckle. When the boy looked over, Logan met his eyes. “I understand that very well.” Logan fell silent and they both looked up at the statue again. It was Logan that broke the silence this time. “Everytime we suit up to go out, I have to wonder if we really should. If it’s worth us getting hurt or… or killed. I used to think I knew the answer, but now… now I’m not sure if it really is worth it.”

“It is.” The boy said several moments later. “At least I have to believe it is. I mean, I killed people. I killed other people to try and save my friends and family. That has to be worth something…. Right?”

Logan nodded, but didn’t take his eyes off the face of the Jesus statue. “Yeah. Defending your friends and family is always worth it. Sometimes it’s all we got.”

“Then why did I risk my life to help someone I don’t even know?” The boy asked, and Logan looked over at him, using his eyes to tell the boy to continue.

He sighed deeply and looked down. “We started in Georgia, my brother and his Ranger team rescued us before the bad guys got there. We were on one of Ashwood’s lists, so they came after us. We ran, got into a bunch of fights, where I needed to.. to kill people. We met people along the way. People who we didn’t know, but they needed to get out too. So we helped them. I mean I didn’t really help them. It was mostly my dad, and Pat, and the Ell Tee. But we helped them. But then a couple days ago, we found these three guys running from the bad guys. We helped them, but… well as they were running towards us, one of them got shot, and then they all fell. I saw one wasn’t moving well, and the soldier next to me tried to go get him, but he got shot. So I went. I didn’t think, I didn’t really even know I was doing it till I got there. He said he couldn’t walk well, so I just grabbed him and dragged him back.” The boy paused as he looked up and into Logan’s eyes. “I don’t even know him, I don’t even know why I risked myself to save someone I don’t know. Hell I don’t know if he’s still alive, other than he said we were coming back here with him. He was injured real bad, couldn’t even lay on his back due to it. My dad, who’s an EMT, said there’s really no way the guy will ever walk again, even if he survives, so, did I waste it?”

Logan closed his eyes, tears falling through his closed lids. “Do you… do you know his name?”

“Huh?” Sheldon asked, not knowing where this was coming from.” I… I think he said it, but I don’t really remember all that much.” He paused as he looked down at the floor. “I don’t even remember what he looked like, other than his face was all messed up… one thing I do remember though was he had really grey eyes.”

The sob escaped before Logan could stop it. He reached out and pulled this boy into a tight hug. “Thank you.” he sobbed. “Thank you.” He said again and again. Pushing the boy back he looked deep into his eyes. “Thank you… for saving the love of my life.” Logan pulled the boy back into his arms and laid his head onto the young man’s shoulder. He was wracked with sobs again, and his tears wouldn’t stop.

The boy’s eyes went as wide as they could, “What?… love of your…” His own eyes teared up and he began to sob as he slowly understood what the older boy had just told him. He had made a difference! They held onto each other, their hug getting stronger by the minute as neither one of them wanted to let go of the one thing that was saving them. One finding his love was alive, the other one finding out his struggle had made a difference. Their tears mixed as they flooded from both boys, helping to make the other whole again.

“You mean you’re actually trying to tell me that these kids… that kid that Sheldon saved, are genetically engineered?” Sheriff O’Donnell said incredulously.

“Yes sir.” Joe said firmly. “That is exactly what I am saying. And that is why all of you, but especially Sheldon will be held in such high regard.”

“Why?” The youngest man, Joe now knew to be Patrick Jr., asked.

“Because, your brother, a young sixteen-year-old, non-augment, saved the life of the leader of a group of genetically engineered super soldiers.” He paused to see if any of them were understanding, but saw that they were not. Finally Joe sighed and spoke again. “Let me explain it this way. The UNIT is more than just a fighting force. We are a very tight knit family unit. Someone, not a member of the family, risked their life to save not just one of the family, but the head of it. Think about how you would feel if someone saved a loved one. Now add to that, part of the genetic alterations make them feel emotions even stronger than we do…”

“So what you’re saying is that some of them will be looking at Sheldon with a bit of a hero complex.” Sergeant Slager said softly.

“Exactly.” was Joe’s only response.

“What the hell?” Janet said as she looked up when the OR doors swung open wide, admitting a small team of people dressed in surgical gowns.

“It’s good to see you too Janet.” A man’s voice said with a degree of mirth.

“Leo?” Janet said stunned.

“Well yeah, you called for me, so we came.”

“I didn’t…” Janet said, then sighed as she stepped away from Adam and pulled down her mask. “Whatever, I’m glad you’re here.”

“I heard he’s bad. What do we have?” Leo moved up and started looking over the readouts over the bed. He hadn’t even looked down to see Adam yet, he didn’t want to cloud his judgement.

“Multiple shrapnel wounds, Sabrina and I have been removing the easier ones, to try and let his body heal up enough to get to the bad ones.”

Leo looked over the ‘map’ that Sabrina had made up of where the shrapnel was located. He couldn’t help but let out a low whistle, and a shake of his head. This was bad. Hell the last time he saw anything close to this was on a post mortem. He took another moment to look things over, then moved close to Janet, keeping his voice low enough so only she heard him. “I knew it would be bad if I was called in, but I wasn’t expecting this. Please don’t take offense to this, but I think it may be best if you scrub out and let me and my team handle it.”

Janet was shocked, and about to respond when Leo held up a hand. “I am not questioning your abilities in the slightest. He is your son though. Can you stay objective?”

He watched all the anger drain away and saw her shoulders shake slightly. “I’ve had more practice working on my kids than I even want to think about. However, there’s no one else that knows his physiology as well as I do.”

Leo searched her eyes for a few moments, then nodded. “There is no doubt there, but from what I understand about you and your kids, I have more experience with these types of injuries. Let me lead the trauma team and you be my second and advise me of any issues I might encounter.” Janet hesitated for a moment, then nodded. Leo smiled, “Well, unless we want to pause and have tea, our asses need to get to work.” Leo smiled as he turned around and addressed his team. “Okay everyone. We’ve got a young man who has survived things not even his advanced healing should have allowed, which means we’re working on borrowed time.”

He looked at the map again and nodded to himself as he came up with a plan. “Forget about the surface injuries for now, I need him prepped to go after the piece between his heart and spine. If he survives the removal of that one, then we’ll move on to the rest. Decker, you and Martinez, go after the pieces that have lacerated his spleen. Tanner and Hussein, repair the right lung as we move past it. I need you all to blaze a path for me. Janet, if you and Sabrina would be so kind as to keep the healing tissue out of the way…”

Leo closed his eyes for a moment and steadied himself. This would probably be one of the most challenging things he’d ever done as a doctor. A slight miscalculation, and the piece of metal would either tear into his heart, or sever the spinal cord. Even with as good as Adam’s healing abilities were, Leo doubted he would survive either. Taking one more deep breath, Leo steadied his nerves, then stepped forward and for the first time, looked down at Adam’s back. “Okay, let’s get to it… scalpel.” He held out his hand, and felt the cold piece of metal placed into it. With a steady hand, Leo began to cut into Adam’s back.

Lt. Davis waited patiently, or at least as patiently as he could, till he saw that Colonel Rodriguez was alone, before he approached the man. While Rodriguez was Cav, and Davis was Rangers, he still knew of, and respected the older man. Right now, he needed to talk to someone he knew and trusted. The Colonel was the closest he had at that point.

“Colonel Rodriguez.” Davis said as he approached, “Do you have a moment?”

“Of course Lieutenant.” Felix then stepped over to the side of the room, with Davis right behind him. When they were far enough away, Felix stopped, turned and looked at the man. “What can I do for you?”

“Well sir, I was hoping you could clear up a few things for me.”

“I’ll do what I can, but things are kinda crazy right now.” Felix said with a slight bit of humor.

“That they are sir,” Davis paused, and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not really sure where to start, but, well… I guess there are two things that are really bothering me, and they’re both related.”

“Okay…. Go on.”

“Well first thing is this UNIT. I heard what Admiral Norris said about them, and I’ve heard some pretty wild things from one of the adults in the group, Major Joe Casey. It’s pretty hard to believe.”

“You better fucking believe it Lieutenant.” Felix said forcefully. “I don’t know the full back story behind them, and bluntly I don’t know if I want to. What I can tell you is that they are every bit as good and deadly as you may have heard. They are also very… special…. Do you understand what I mean?”

Davis nodded. This is what he was really interested in.

“Good. If they have let you know this, then count yourself lucky. They are beyond top secret. Only the president, or the UNIT themselves have the authority to tell someone else. The only reason I know is because we fought side by side with them, several times. They may look young, hell they may look small and somewhat fragile. But take it from me… they are anything but.”

“Thank you sir.” Davis said as he digested what he just heard. “Ummm. The other thing I wanted to ask you about. Well I’ve now heard from Admiral Norris, Major Casey, and the general that was injured, that we, for all intents and purposes are being assigned to work with them. Do you know anything about this?”

“Not yet, but if they’ve said it, then I would count on it. You need to make the choice here and now. Are you willing to work with these guys, cause they’re gonna get into the toughest fights they can find. They are a bit unorthodox, and more than a bit fucking scary at times, but as Admiral Norris said, and he wasn’t just speaking for himself, many of us would march into battle with them, confident that no matter what we’re up against, we’ll make it through. They are that damned scary.”

“Thank you sir.” Davis said in a rather stunned voice, then turned and walked away, out of the room. He needed time to think.

“Sheldon?” Sheldon had just left the hospital’s chapel, feeling a little better after what the admiral had said. As he turned to move down the corridor on his crutches, he saw the chaplain walking up to him.

“Sir?” The teen asked when the man got up to him.

“Please, call me Jim.” The chaplain said as he held out his hand.

Sheldon chuckled a little bit, as he shook his head, while shaking the man’s hand. “I don’t think I could do that sir.”

“Okay, then how about Chaplain, or Chaplain Montgomery. ‘Sir’ makes me feel a whole lot older than I am.”

“OK, Chaplain it is.” He paused, then spoke again. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, I know you went through some tough times recently, and I was wondering if you wanted to talk about it some.” The Army Chaplain held out an arm, motioning for Sheldon to join him as he walked.

“I guess.” Sheldon said somewhat nervously. “I still don’t really know what I’m feeling or what I should be feeling, but…”

“That’s what I’m here for. Would you like your father or brother to join us?”

Sheldon thought it over for a few moments before he shook his head. “Nah. I don’t want to bother them.”

“Son, I really doubt either one of them would consider you being a bother. As a matter of fact, they both came and talked to me already, and both of them were more than a bit worried about you.”

“They were?” Sheldon asked as he looked up to the man.

“Yeah.” He said emphatically. “They’re both very worried about you. However, I have to say, personally, after everything that I’ve heard… well son, I’d be damned proud to have you for kin.”

Sheldon looked up, his eyes wide in surprise, only to see the man smile down at him and nod. “Why?” Sheldon finally asked.

“Simple.” The man said, as he looked up to the sky as they slowly walked. “The real test of a man is what he does when the pressure is on.” They walked on for a few moments before the man spoke again. “I spoke with Pastor Mary. She said that you were one of the few teens that went to church every week, even when your family couldn’t go.”

Sheldon looked a little wide-eyed, and blushed slightly, but nodded. “I liked going.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I was the same way. I felt a connection at the church. Not just to God, but also to those that were there with me. We were a family, a group of people who came together to not only worship, but to bask in something greater than ourselves.”

“Yeah.” Sheldon said softly, amazed that someone else felt the same way he did.

“Are you one that believes that, regardless of the outcome, the intent is important.”

“Of course.” Sheldon responded immediately. “Just because you didn’t actually hurt someone, wanting to, trying to, matters just as much.” He paused as he thought, and Jim let him. Finally after almost a minute Sheldon spoke up. “That’s kinda what’s bugging me right now.” Jim allowed Sheldon to figure out how to word what was on his mind. Jim knew sometimes listening was just as important as talking. Once Sheldon was ready, he began to speak and almost couldn’t stop. “I know it’s wrong to want to hurt people, or kill them, but I wanted to. I mean you know that I did… I killed people. At first I didn’t want to, but, by the time we were rescued, I really did want to. I wanted to hurt them, for what they did, for what they were doing, and what they may do in the future.” When he stopped, Jim could see the start of tears in his eyes. “I… I don’t know. I just think I should feel bad for that, and for all the things I did, but… well I don’t. Not really.”

Again Jim waited, and let him talk his feelings out. “I know it’s wrong to kill people, but what choice did I really have? I wasn’t about to just let them kill Alisa or everyone else. I just couldn’t.” Sheldon looked up at the man with pleading eyes.

Jim sighed and put his arm around Sheldon. “I’ll start off by saying, ‘Judge not, lest you be judged.’ Meaning that I can’t tell you what you did was right or wrong, at least not as far as how God sees it. I can tell you what I believe from all the time I’ve studied the Bible, and from all the men I’ve talked to about this. Do you want to hear it?”

Sheldon nodded eagerly, hoping to hear something that will help ease the guilt he was feeling. “What you did out there is what you needed to do so you could survive. You said intent matters, but did you, at any time, hurt or kill someone just because you could?”

“No.”

“Of course not. That’s when you know you’ve crossed the line. Everything that you did was because you had to, in order to save others.

“It’s not easy, but that’s the life of a warrior. Whether you like it or not, whether you asked for it or not, you are a warrior now. When the bad guys started coming, you were one of the few that stood up and said ‘no’. There are many men, older and more seasoned than you are, that break under that kind of strain. Those of us in the military are trained and molded to do it, you were not, which makes what you did even more special.” Jim saw that Sheldon grew uncomfortable with the praise, but he needed to hear it. “Jesus once said, ‘Greater love hath no man than he who would lay down his life for his friend.’ Now I know there are people that argue the meaning of that passage, but I for one like to think that I’m not smart enough to try and contextualize His words. Mainly, I read them, and accept them for what they say. In that one, He’s pretty clear, that true love for one another, the only commandment that Jesus gave us, also includes the willingness to lay down our lives for others. You did that. You walked in Jesus’ footprints, carrying your own cross up the hill to Golgotha. You were willing to fight, and if need be, die for your friends. Something tells me that God would not only accept your actions, but praise them.”

After a few moments of silence as both continued to walk, the chaplain spoke again. “I’m not normally one who likes to quote things other than His words, but there are two that strike me that I think you would benefit from hearing. The first one was by a famous man named Albert Einstein. I assume you’ve heard of him.” Sheldon smiled and nodded his head. “Good. Although this is not about science, Einstein was smart in other things too. I think this speaks directly about you, and what you have done.” He paused for a moment, then spoke. “‘The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.'”

“Obviously you are one of those that try to make it safer, even for those you do not know.” The chaplin met Sheldon’s eyes, and through the tears in there, knew he was starting to really get through. “The other quote is from an Ethiopian Statesman, Haile Selassie. He said, ‘Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph’.”

“It’s true that you should never be judge, jury and executioner, however, when the time comes and the choice is to stand and defend, or run and hide, hoping that the evil will never come visit you… well to me, THAT is the true test of a person. It’s easy to sit back and let others protect you. It takes real courage, real tenacity to stand and draw that line in the sand.” The two of them stopped and Sheldon looked around, realizing that they were back to where they staying. “When everything’s said and done, it will be your choice as to what you do from here. However, as I said, you were chosen to be a warrior. Unless you’re willing to tell God He was wrong, I think you know what you need to do. The past is the past, don’t let that control your future. You will find that every single person you meet in uniform, who has seen combat, has had the same questions, the same concerns that you do. I can not give you any answers.” He reached down and placed a hand on Sheldon’s chest, directly over his heart. “Your answers can only come from here.” He then raised his hand off Sheldon’s chest, and pointed up to the heavens. “And there.”

Sheldon was past the point of being able to speak, so he just nodded. The chaplin nodded, then reached down and drew Sheldon into a tight hug, knowing that this was a boy that drew strength from the embrace of others. When the chaplain pulled back, he turned Sheldon around, and gave him a gentle push towards the door. “You have people in there worried and waiting for you. Go tell them what you have figured out.”

Sheldon turned his head, nodded, and smiled to the chaplain before he walked inside. It didn’t take him long before he heard music coming from the common room they all used, so that’s where he headed. Opening the door, Sheldon saw Terry sitting behind the piano, Pastor Mary to his side. Terry didn’t stop playing, but as soon as his eyes met Sheldon’s, he started to sing, never letting his eyes leave Sheldon’s.

You’ve got the words to change a nation
But you’re biting your tongue
You’ve spent a life time stuck in silence
Afraid you’ll say something wrong
If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?

So come on, come on
Come on, come on
You’ve got a heart as loud as lions
So why let your voice be tamed?
Maybe we’re a little different
There’s no need to be ashamed
You’ve got the light to fight the shadows
So stop hiding it away
Come on, come on

I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream ’til the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers,
I’m not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it…

As the song continued, the two boys never allowed their eyes to break apart, even when they were both overflowing with tears. The emotions that were conveyed during that time were so intense that words could not have described them. As the final notes drifted across the room, Sheldon moved forward, and around the piano. He set his crutches against the piano, then pulled Terry to his feet, and hugged him. “Thank you.” He said as he held on for dear life. “Thank you for everything.” Sheldon pulled back and met Terry’s eyes. For a long moment the two of them were lost in each others eyes, till Sheldon very slowly leaned forward. As his lips met Terry’s, Sheldon felt something inside of him snap. The worry and pain that he had been carrying around inside of himself suddenly released its hold on his soul.

The tears that fell from both their eyes as the kiss deepened, helped to cleanse everything from their souls. When the kiss finally ended, the two boys pulled back from each other, tears falling over beaming smiles. Instead of saying anything, Sheldon reached out his hand, and took Terry’s into his own.

Editors Note: I haven’t looked at this, since last December. I knew what was going to happen in this chapter, but Damn You! Roland. My eyes were still leaking. If this chapter touched you, let Roland know. He put a tremendous amount of effort into this in order to capture Sheldon’s emotional state. I hope that it came through.

Al Norris
Webguy and RU Editor

Contact Roland at:
Roland at CastleRoland dot Net

* Read All About It – Emeli Sandé 2012 release.
Songwriters: Ben Kohn / Iain James / Peter Kelleher / Tom Barnes
Read All About It, Pt. III lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC