Published: 19 Dec 2019

Dike

Gary

It took almost a month to get Bobby assigned to Erewhon. Family Services wanted to put him back with the two stepparents. Idiots! I had to bring in a couple of lawyer friends to fight that … I could not have done it if they charged what they charge corporations. Both worked for Bobby pro bono. Both had been orphans. Both had been sexually abused by older boys at their orphanage; both had done the same to younger boys. They had been rescued by a couple who had the courage to adopt two, 16-year-old kids, and the smarts to bring them out of the mind-set of the orphanage, and into the real world. I knew their stories and they knew mine; no one else did.

They got a temporary order assigning Bobby to me … to Erewhon, really, but to live with me … and held off Family Services until the hearing date. At the hearing, Bobby’s lawyers showed that the stepparents were unfit, and when Family Services couldn’t come up with anything better, got Bobby assigned permanently to Erewhon subject to future adoption. One more kid was taken out of a broken system. Finding a mommy and daddy for Bobby had gotten a whole lot easier.

Nemesis, however, was becoming more and more problematic. He told me that his “boss” was Dike, the goddess of justice. But, he didn’t know how to find her. He told me about the compulsion he felt to help Bobby, but he didn’t seem compelled to do any more jobs. He was getting depressed.

I divided my time between Bobby and Nemesis, but for Nemesis, other than trips to the library and museums to research gods and goddesses, and some trips to the underbelly of Chicago to look for boys who needed help, I’m afraid we didn’t get much done.

Nemesis

Gary put up with me more than I deserved. I know. I moped around the house. He was worried someone would see me when he took me with him to Erewhon and to Family Court. No one ever did, though. The only people who saw me were the ones I chose to interact with … and there weren’t many of those.

I didn’t hear anyone else in pain. Gary took me looking a bunch of times. He took me to places gay boys hung out looking to be picked up. He rescued a few boys and took them to Erewhon, but he never seemed to need me. He took me to juvenile detention facilities, and sprang a bunch of kids who had shoplifted to eat, or to feed younger brothers and sisters. He took me to places he called “orphan mills” where we watched cops raid them, but nowhere did I hear anyone who needed me.

I didn’t know where to find Dike. Gary showed me how to use his computer and took me to museums and a big library; I looked up everything I could find on Nemesis and Dike – and Death – but it didn’t help. No way Google was going to have their email addresses.

The first night after Bobby went to Erewhon, I couldn’t sleep. My bed was empty. My whole body felt empty. I went to Gary’s room. It was dark; I felt that he was asleep. I slid into bed with him. I was quivering … eagerness? I knew he wanted me. I saw it in his eyes every time he saw me. Fear? I didn’t know what our relationship should be. So far, he had treated me like … like a porcelain doll he was afraid to break.

I knew he liked little boys … and I knew he fought against that, he pushed it away and spent his energy instead on helping boys. Still, I hoped he might feel something toward me.

Gary woke when I got into his bed. I didn’t have to say anything. He wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me close. I forgot my eagerness and my fear. All I felt was …

… damn! I don’t know what I felt. I’ve never been in love, only in lust. But I think it was love. I felt Gary’s concern, and I felt his happiness. Does concern + happiness = love? Whatever, it was as close as I’d ever come before. I hoped it was real.

I didn’t feel sex from him, even though I felt sex about him. His body was reacting to something that his mind didn’t see. I’d have to think about that. For now, though, I felt safe and … yes, I felt loved. And then, I fell asleep.

Gary

I knew that Nemesis and Bobby had been sleeping together. I also knew they weren’t having sex. I was pretty sure that both of them were frustrated by that. But there was nothing I could do. Nothing I knew how to do. I was maybe as frustrated as they were.

The first night after Bobby went to Erewhon, I woke when Nemesis crawled into my bed. I was expecting it, actually. I felt his nervousness, and tried desperately to hide my own. He was the demi-god; he could feel what I felt. I couldn’t feel what he felt. It was unfair. Actually, unfair didn’t begin to describe it.

I tried to bring love to the forefront of my mind. I realized how inadequate that was. Not love, itself, but my understanding of love. So I opened my thoughts to what I truly felt for Nemesis – concern for his happiness, and my own happiness that he would come to me for comfort. Two happinesses, I thought. I wonder if that means love.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him as tightly as I dared. I felt his body shake with sobs. I felt his tears dripping on my chest. I felt his crying subside and his breathing slow. There was no time to think further. Nemesis sighed. A deep breath, a strong hug … and then he fell asleep. I think he was happy. I know I was. It was a start.

I stayed awake for a long time, thinking. It didn’t do any good. I had no idea how to get the help this 12-year-old demi-god needed.

Two days later, I answered the doorbell to see a pair of US Marshalls. Behind me, Nemesis gasped. I ignored him. I knew by now people couldn’t see or hear Nemesis unless he wanted them to.

“Morning, guys, what can I do for you?”

“Are you Garreth Walters?”

I nodded, and one of the men pushed a folded paper at me. “You’re served,” the man said.

“They are not what they seem!” Nemesis said.

I looked closely. The men seemed to dissolve and reform as green-scaly-skinned semi-human monsters. They were still in US Marshalls’ uniforms, and looked pretty threatening.

“Who are you guys?” I said, trying desperately to sound calm.

“Read the summons, asshole,” one said. I heard a scrape of metal on metal. Nemesis had drawn his sword. The two monster-marshals froze.

“Speak politely to my … my friend,” the boy said. “And answer his question.”

“We work for Dike,” one said. “Superior Court Judge Candi K. Everhart. She wants to see you … both of you.”

“You may tell her you did your duty,” Nemesis said. His voice was flat, devoid of the emotion I knew he must have felt. “Now, leave.” The men-monsters looked at him, turned, and left.

The sword was quieter going back into the scabbard. But I could feel Nemesis trembling.

Nemesis

I was torn between loyalty to Gary, who had shown me kindness, and my need to understand what was going on. I was torn between wanting to talk to Dike and fear of someone who would send monsters to summon me.

I think I did okay with the scions of Hermes who appeared as US Marshalls. Yes, I knew who they were. I’d read about them when I was looking for Dike on the internet. Just about everyone thinks of Hermes as the “Florist Telegraph Delivery” image of Mercury: naked, wings on feet and doughboy helmet. No one seems to understand the gods sometimes need someone to deliver bad news. That’s what Dike sent: bad dudes, monsters. My tummy tumbled when I saw them, and I thought I’d upchuck when they threatened Gary. Then, I remembered my sword, and drew it.

They saw the sword, even though I don’t think Gary did. They were afraid of it. Things went better, then. Until they left, and Gary told me we were going to obey the summons.

“Nemesis, you’ve been looking for Dike for a month. Now, you know where to find her. Besides, I’m trying to do something important. I need support from the community and from the government, including this judge. I don’t care if her marshals are monsters. I would walk the halls of Hell, itself, to succeed.” He looked hard at me. It was an “I need a hug look” if I ever saw one.

Having not long ago walked the halls of Hell, myself, I sort of understood. I stepped into his outstretched arms. It was a good hug, and one I needed, too.

Gary

We were to report to the judge’s chambers at 10:00 the next morning. The guards checked me through the metal detectors and gave directions. I was no longer puzzled when people seemed to ignore Nemesis and his sword; I just hoped that was part of the mystery Dike would explain.

The woman behind the desk looked like a grandmother. Pleasant, curly white hair, a variegated blouse. The door closed behind us, and she changed: she grew about two feet taller and shed 50 years of age. Her hair turned black. All the softness in her face vanished with the wrinkles.

“Who are you, and why are you here?” she thundered. I hoped the office was soundproofed, and I knew she was talking to me.

“My name is Garreth Walters, but you know that,” I said. “Who are you … really?” I saw Nemesis reach for his sword, and grabbed his hand. He struggled, but I was firm. It didn’t occur to me until much later I had overcome what I knew to be his super-human strength.

“I am Dike,” she said. “But you know that, as well. How dare you control my servant?”

“Because you haven’t. You haven’t given him the guidance or instruction he deserves. You have ignored him. You may be busy, but you should have found time at least to let him know you acknowledged him, and you would talk to him.”

The goddess shrank, and once again became the grandmother. “Oy vey!” she said. “It’s been more than a century since a mortal has stood up to me. Abraham Lincoln was the last one. You show courage.”

“Right makes might, ma’am,” I said. “But you know that.”

The grandmother behind the desk smiled. My “ma’am” had bought something important. She was no longer threatening; I was no longer afraid.

Dike came from behind her desk and invited us to a cozy conversation area in a corner of the office. The couches, complete with antimacassars, wouldn’t have been out of place in her home. Her home when she was being a grandmother, that is. She took Nemesis’ hand, and looked into his eyes. They stared at one another for several minutes. The boy nodded, occasionally. Twice he glanced at me. She’s talking to him … stuff probably I’m not supposed to know. Wonder what she’s saying about me.

Nemesis

Dike told me a lot, but she said there were things I’d have to learn for myself … things she couldn’t tell me. Experience is the best teacher, she said. Oh, and she said I didn’t have to wear the chiton all the time … just when I was on duty. She also told me I was wearing it backwards – my right arm, my sword arm, was supposed to be the naked one. I blushed at that.

When she finished, she hugged me. The 46-year-old man I had been faded when the 12-year-old boy I was now, returned the hug.

Then, she talked to Gary.

“Garreth Walters, you are a special person in your own right. I know your intentions with respect to the children at Erewhon are honorable. Still, I must ask if your intentions toward my servant are as honorable?”

“Ma’am,” Gary said, “Why do you call him your servant rather than your son?”

I must have turned white. I felt dizzy. I had lied to Gary, and he had believed it … believed it enough to question a powerful goddess.

“My son?” she said. “Oh … please forgive him, Mr. Walters. He was upset and confused, and he didn’t want to frighten you. He is not my son, but a god in his own right. Not as powerful, yet, as the elder gods, but still, a god.”

Gary nodded. “Understandable, ma’am. I thought, afterwards, I might have led him into a lie. God or demi-god, he is a child, so the fault is mine. I ask you both to forgive me.”

I am a child, I thought. In so many ways. I scooted across the couch and put my arms around Gary. “Only if you will forgive me,” I said. He returned the hug. It felt really good to have his strong arms around me. I probably blushed a little … and then a whole lot more when he kissed my forehead and said he forgave me.

Dike

Well! That little scene told me a lot about my newest Nemesis and about Mr. Walters. I was no longer concerned about their relationship. No matter where it went, I was sure it would be a loving thing.

Nemesis

“You’re Garreth,” I said. “Not Gary. At least, that’s what Dike called you.” We were stuck in traffic on the way home. I was still jittery from talking to Dike, and I was impatient. I was babbling.

Gary seemed calm. “It’s Welsh,” he said. He blushed a little. “It means modest and brave. I grew up knowing that. My father never missed a chance to tell me … especially when I didn’t live up to his expectations for modesty or bravery.”

After we got home, while Gary was on a conference call, I looked up the rest of his name on the Internet. Walters is Welsh for “ruling warrior.” I wondered if Gary knew, and bet he did. I bet his daddy told him.

Gary

I’m still not quite sure about Nemesis. Sometimes, it’s as if he were far away, lost in a fantasy world of gods and monsters, except I know this fantasy is real. Nemesis said he’d just found out about himself a month or two ago, yet sometimes he acts and speaks as if he were years older than I am. He heard the fake US Marshals call me Garreth, but it didn’t register until he heard Dike say it. He told me he was the son of Nemesis and a mortal father. I managed to confuse that, and think he was the son of Dike, and neither of them corrected me. In fact, Dike apologized for Nemesis saying that. I hoped things would get simpler. I was pretty sure that wasn’t going to happen.

Nemesis

I figured after the meeting with Dike I’d start finding jobs, things to do. She told me I had a mission, she told me I would be doing important work. She told me I would have help. I asked if she meant Gary; she said, maybe, but the way she looked at him, I think she meant yes. Getting to work with Gary – and getting to sleep with him and getting hugs from him – made up for a lot. Like being treated like I was a 12-year-old. No more Taco Hell takeout and no more liquor. Actually, I discovered I didn’t want either, and I liked having someone take care of me.

I never did learn to like broccoli, though.

At lunch, after the meeting with Dike, Gary looked at me funny, like his eyes were focused through me, at the dining room wall, or a million miles away. His question startled me.

“Nemesis, what did Dike mean when she said I was special?”

I didn’t know how to answer. I did manage to tell Gary that Dike said he would help me … might help me …

“I sort of figured that,” Gary said. “But what about the special part? She didn’t say, special how. I hope, if we’re going to be partners, it’s something more than just being able to see you … and green monster-marshals … and superior court judges who are elder gods.”

I thought at first he was making fun of me, but there was no laugh, no smile. In fact, his lips got tight and his eyes, hooded. It was going to be up to me. I stood up. We were less than two steps apart. In the time it took me to cross that space, Gary stood and held out his arms.

Gary held me, hard. I felt … worry, even desperation.

“We’re partners, aren’t we?” I asked.

Gary had his face buried in my hair … he always did when we hugged. I felt his nod.

“Maybe we need to talk more about what that means,” I said.

I was shaking, and I knew Gary could feel it. “I guess you’d better know a little more … ” I took a deep breath. “ … about me.

“Will you hold me while I tell you, and promise not to hate me, after?” I whispered.

Gary

Nemesis was frightened. I could feel it in his trembling; I could hear it in his voice. I led him to the couch and pulled him into my lap. I hugged him, and pressed his head to my chest.

“Nemesis, I will never hate you,” I said. “Even before Dike, there was something … something special between us … ”

“That’s what I’ve got to tell you about,” Nemesis said. His voice was husky as he forced words through a reluctant throat. “The ‘before’ part. I’m not a demi-god, the son of a goddess. You know that. But you don’t know what I am … what I was before. Before I was … what I am, now, I was a man, older than you, 46 years old. I got picked to kind of take the place of another Nemesis … and I turned into a 12-year-old boy.”

Nemesis stopped talking. He stopped breathing, waiting for my reaction.

I hugged him tighter for a second, then lifted his chin. I looked into his eyes. They were filling with tears. I wiped them away with my thumb.

“Um, hum,” I said. “That’s not what has you so upset, though.”

Nemesis ducked his head and buried it in my chest. I could barely hear what he said next.

“I was like you … I liked boys … like you … but I did the things you won’t do. I hurt boys … I didn’t help them, like you do. I was … I was evil … I hurt boys … you have to hate me!”

Nemesis was crying, now. Sobs wracked his body. I held him as tightly as I could and whispered, “No, Nemesis, I don’t hate you.”

I surprised him and myself when I let my heart take over. “I love you. I don’t like what you said you were, but I don’t hate you. I love what you are, now.”

I thought this would cheer him up; it didn’t. He cried even harder.

After Nemesis cried himself out, I urged him to wash his face, and then asked if he’d like to go to Dave and Buster’s for supper. The boy persona was back in the smile on his clean, bright face. The boy persona played skee-ball and ate pizza, and called me daddy when the waiter brought our order.

Nemesis

Three days later, nothing had happened. Gary and I talked more about the partners thing, but other than me confessing my past to him, we’d not figured out where things were going. We went out looking for boys to help. We didn’t find any. I was frustrated, again, but I didn’t let Gary know. Still, he figured out I was unhappy.

Gary

Nemesis had enjoyed our museum trips. I asked him if he’d like to go to the Field Museum. He perked up a little bit and agreed to wear regular clothes and be visible.

“You’ll have to pay my admission,” Nemesis said. “I could get in free, you know.”

I laughed. “Not to worry. I have a membership, and I won’t even have to worry about trying to sneak in a 46-year-old adult at a child’s rate … What’s the matter?”

Nemesis had been giggling, animated, smiling. Suddenly, his face froze, and it wasn’t a smile. He flushed, and then turned white.

“I didn’t even think about that,” he whispered. “I am. Forty-six years old, that is. I’d … I’d forgotten. I’m forgetting more and more of that life.”

His face … flickered. In one instant, I thought I saw lines of age and worry; in the next, I saw the clear, innocent, smooth face of the 12-year-old I’d found behind an abandoned shopping center. His face settled into the 12-year-old, but it had tears in its eyes. He held out his arms.

I picked him up, thankful I was still strong enough to do so without hurting my titanium leg. He put his cheek against mine, wrapped his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist. I felt a few tears run down my cheek, but couldn’t tell if they were his or mine.

“I love you,” I whispered. “Remember?”

Nemesis nodded his head. He kissed my cheek.

I love you, I think I heard.

Nemesis

I thought I love you, even though I knew Gary couldn’t hear me. I was still afraid to say it.

We saw a lot at the museum, but my favorite thing was a Tyrannosaurus Rex named “Sue.” She was huge, and ferocious looking. I held Gary’s hand. His grip was strong. If I’d been a real little boy, seeing Sue for the first time with his daddy, I’d have felt safe. Actually, I did feel safe, and like a real little boy. It was a good feeling.

There was a group of boys looking at Sue while one of the docents lectured them. The boys were from a private school – they were all wearing white shirts, shorts, and knee socks. There were a lot of cute ones. My eyes wandered from Sue to the group of boys.

Gary squeezed my hand to get my attention, and whispered, “What’s wrong? You’re miles away.”

I shook my head. “Nothing. Distracted, I guess.” Then my eyes locked onto the group of boys, again.

“Something,” I said. “Do you see anything … unusual?”

“You mean like the marshals who weren’t?” Gary asked.

“No … something mundane,” I said. I turned my head, and looked around.

“There!” I said, perhaps too loudly. There was a man on the outskirts of the group of schoolboys. He was looking at a brochure … no, he was looking over the top of the brochure. I followed his line of sight. He was staring at the boys.

“That man … ” I said to Gary. “The one by the column? He’s watching the boys. It’s a … wait … ”

One boy had broken ranks, spoken briefly to one of the chaperones, and was walking away from the group. Restroom break, I thought. The man looked at Sue, and then turned to follow the boy.

Oh. “Gary, I need to go to the restroom … not to piss, but I need to go the restroom where that boy’s headed … and the man, too.”

Gary nodded, and released my hand. “I’ll follow in a minute or so,” he said.

The boy entered the restroom. The man looked around before pushing open the door and following the boy. I made myself invisible, and followed close behind the man.

The boy stood at a urinal. The man went to a sink. He waved his hands under the faucet and triggered a sensor. The water started. The boy zipped up his shorts, and walked toward a sink. The man turned, grabbed the boy. Damn! He had one hand over the boy’s mouth and an arm around the boy’s waist. I couldn’t figure out his plan … all that needed to happen was for someone else to come in.

Son of a bitch! I thought. The man walked toward a door. Janitor’s closet? I thought, before I saw the bright FIRE EXIT sign. He’s going to take the kid outside.

Before he could push open the door, I stepped in front of him and made myself visible.

I’d forgotten I was wearing kid clothes: khakis and a pullover shirt. Not as impressive as a half-naked kid with a great honking sword. Still, appearing out of thin air had to count for something.

“That’s enough,” I said. The man released the kid. That was easy, I thought, and then saw the reason the man had turned loose of the kid. It was so he could grab one of those telescoping spring batons. He pulled it from his pocket and snapped it open.

Uh, oh! I thought, and ducked. My sword banged on the wall. Sword? Sword! I didn’t know I was wearing it! I drew it, and raised it to block the man’s next swing with the baton.

The sword sparked when it hit the baton. The spark traveled down the baton, down the man’s arm, and seemed to settle in his chest. He gasped, and collapsed.

I looked down at the man … he was twitching, a little. The kid was still there. He looked at me kinda funny.

Gary came in.

“Is everything okay?” he asked. The kid scampered out the door.

Then I shrugged. “He tried to hit me with this … ”

I showed Gary the baton. Gary whistled. “He didn’t, though?”

“No. But when I blocked with my sword … it shocked him or something.”

Gary knelt and felt the man’s pulse. “He’s dead. I think we should leave.”

Gary

I lifted the man onto a toilet seat in one of the stalls. Nemesis locked the door from the inside, and then crawled under the door. We left the museum as quickly and inconspicuously as possible. I was nervous for the rest of the day. The police hadn’t contacted me again about the dead man behind the shopping center. Now, there was another dead man. Would my luck hold out?

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