Published: 27 Dec 2021

Once back at Bullock Creek Roy requested Travis look in on the horses while he conveyed his intentions to Bradley. This he did gladly giving his uncle a good hour. On his return Roy was quietly comforting Bradley who appeared to be somewhat emotional about the pending decision but holding to decorum.

“I’ll put tea on,” Travis suggested, leaving the two on the verandah in further discussion. Although Travis didn’t attempt to listen into the conversation he could not but overhear some of it and in the main Bradley was agreeing with Roy’s decisions. Sometime later they joined him in the kitchen with Bradley appearing to be more accepting and within minutes he was back to his usual disposition, appearing resigned and quite happy with Roy’s resolve.

Travis took to his bed early to allow Roy and Bradley to formulate further plans, while the weekend in Mareeba took away Travis’ ability to sleep. He worried for Greg even if convinced Greg wasn’t his problem. He concerned for his new position at Mt. Surprise and for Bradley being evicted from Bullock Creek to live at Roy’s main property, or back in a town that held him no interest.

Foremost to thought was Evan’s persistence to give up school and join in his travels, feeling responsible for the lad cutting short his education and could he accept responsibility for another in what could be folly? With Greg it had been different as it was originally Greg’s idea to travel and Travis, to a degree, felt the junior partner in the enterprise but with Evan it would be Travis who became the decision maker. In truth the only responsibility he previously had was to feed and walk the dog, even in that aspect he had often been found wanting.

Oddly, as each problem went full circle in his mind, it was Evan that returned most. Travis was bonding with the lad, even at distance and Evan’s innocent smile was etched deeply in his developing concern, eventually he convinced his worry with doubt that Evan would carry through with his promise and with that conclusion Travis spiralled into sleep.

Travis lay quietly listening to the wakening magpies and crows and the sound of Roy’s departing vehicle as the tyres bounced across the first cattle grid, then more distant on the second. The offer to remain working for Roy was strong, being an easy alternative from that of the unknown, while keeping his fellowship with Bradley but he realised in doing so there would always be those two words eating away at him like rats gnawing at the pantry door. What if. What would life be like simply roaming about the back country and could he adapt to such a lifestyle. What of self? Travis was still looking for his spirit, who was he, was he a town’s lad with set boundaries being the last street, the last house, with nothing beyond except that gleaned from conversation, or was he some bushman, few in words and even fewer in acquaintances.

There was another concern for Travis, if he returned to town there would be pressure to find a girl and settle down. That was fact as his mother was continuously trying to introduce him to available girls, even when he assured he was capable in finding his own and in his time.

Marriage; even the thought brought a shudder, children were fine but to come home to a wife after a day’s slogging with a job he disliked was beyond comprehension. Then there was dating, he had long since realised he had little interest in the chase while believing it would develop in time, or such a challenge would be simply discarded as to difficult to ponder upon.

Travis thought of Bradley. It would be an easy alternative to continue living with Bradley. He cherished his dry laconic humour, filling him with joy over a beer and a game of cards at the close of another dreamy day. He loved to complain when Bradley cheated at cards and badly lied about doing so. Yet it wouldn’t be the same and Roy had advised there would be others at Mungana and Bradley would lose his independence. He would no longer call him wife or mother in fear of his humour being miss-interpreted. As for Bradley’s daily walks, Travis still had no idea where he went and that was one mystery he wished to solve before he departed company.

Travis discontinued his self appraisal as the morning sun found the small gap above the room’s dividing wall, while becoming concerned for Bradley’s situation regardless of his own. Could Bradley be happy at Mungana? Travis sighed and swung his feet to the floor, deciding to prepare breakfast even if it was Bradley’s turn to do so. Now it was time to chase that rainbow he thought, again pushing his disquiet for Bradley’s disposition back behind his own.

Once breakfast was on the table Travis called along the passage. Moments later Bradley arrived, violently massaging his scalp and yawning widely.

“Fleas?” Travis asks.

“Funny boy; it was my turn to do breakfast,” Bradley again yawned and stretched his arms high above his head.

“Roy woke me so I thought I may as well start.”

“Good boy.”

As Bradley lazily collapsed into his chair, Travis took a peek down the passage towards the bedrooms and noted that Roy’s bedroom door remained closed while Bradley’s was open reawakening a suspicion he had often held.

“What’s wrong?” Bradley asks noticing Travis’ cranking his neck for a better view.

“Nothing, what have you decided?” Travis asks while dishing up a plate of scrambled eggs and scraped burnt toast.

“Did you know Roy wants to set me up in a property?” Bradley asks, placing a little too much pressure onto the slice of toast, causing it to snap like a dry twig. He laughed.

“He did mention it,”

“You knew and didn’t tell me.”

“Roy wanted to speak to you first, besides he only told me as we drove back.”

“Huh,”

“So what is your decision?”

“For the present I’m going to Mungana.”

“I thought you loved your solitude?”

“True but there is a problem with the foreman and Roy will be moving him on, so until he finds someone he can trust he wants me to manage Mungana.”

“How many work on Mungana?”

“Six,” Bradley waved his broken slice of burnt toast towards Travis, There’s a generator at Mungana,”

“That will be a change.”

“Yea no more burnt toast.”

“You say for the present, after Mungana what?”

“A property of my own and when you have finished your wandering, you can come and work for me,” Bradley sincerely offered.

“Do you mean that?” Travis asks as a lump of emotion formed in his throat.

“Of course I do, I wouldn’t say so if I didn’t.”

“I thought you would be happy to see the back of me,” Travis declared and poured a second cup of the tea.

“I’m used to you now, besides who else would I have to mother me and serve me leftover stew for breakfast?” Bradley answered then collecting his hat he headed for the feed shed, “by the way the water pump has buggered up again and there’s no water for the horses in the top paddock.”

“I thought you fixed it when Evan was here?”

“I did but it’s a load of shit, just as well Roy’s selling, everything is breaking down,” Bradley complained.

“Do you need a hand with it?” Travis asks from the clearing of the breakfast table.

“No, it can wait until tomorrow, for now I’ll move the horses to the creek paddock.”

“Beef sandwiches for lunch?” Travis called after him.

“Whatever.”

“Do you want a hand moving the horses?”

“Na, they will follow with a little hay.”

Travis was taking out the kitchen scraps and as he dumped them into a forty-four gallon drum set aside for that purpose, he notice Bradley heading towards the creek.

‘It’s now or never,’ Travis thought and quickly followed, keeping behind a paddock of long dry grass leading towards the creek. Moving quickly Travis reached the creek before Bradley. Remaining out of sight behind a thicket of bottlebrush trees he followed at a safe distance until Bradley reached the waterhole. Once there Travis silently concealed behind a fold in the bank with a clear vision of the waterhole and Bradley from under a clump of prickle bushes. As he dropped to the bare earth of the rise, dust scattered up his nose causing the need to sneeze. Travis held his nose forcing the sensation away but an itch remained. He fought to control his silence and won.

Bradley paused at the water’s edge and after scanning both up stream and down, then the banks, he removed his shirt. Feeling safe from discovery he removed his trousers and not wearing underwear, stood naked below the stand of flowering callistemon trees. Moments later he plunged into the tepid water, disappearing under its surface to reappear near the opposite bank close to where Travis was hiding and so close he felt he could reach out and touch Bradley’s nakedness.

After repeating the dive Bradley arrived back where he had entered, he again plunged in, sending ripples to radiate from his dive to gently lap the banks. Bradley again surfaced close to where Travis was concealed and coughed from an accidental intake of water then calmed, his gaze fixed on the spot where Travis was hiding as if he had noticed movement.

Travis held his breath.

Had he been discovered?

What excuse had he for such an invasion of his friend’s privacy?

Bradley’s concentration appeared to remain on where Travis lay hidden. He held his focus for some time before breaking away with the screeching of parrots in the bottlebrush bloom above.

Travis’ presence remained undiscovered.

Bradley turned and left the water relaxing against a trunk of a fallen tree and with his eyes cast towards the blue vault of emptiness above the tree tops he commenced to fondle himself.

Travis made movement to leave but remained captivated by his friend’s nakedness.

To Travis, Bradley appeared vulnerable, his privacy stripped bare for all to view. It was as if that coat of cold metal that protected Bradley’s emotions had dissolved within the water and beneath was his soft youthful underbelly. The yards between them dissipated and both Travis and Bradley became one in that urge to attain a plateau of self-gratification. Travis knew it was not proper to do so but at that moment he felt closer to his friend than ever before and within but a few short seconds under a hot tropical sun both had reached their pleasure, leaving Bradley to re-enter the water to wash clean and Travis to quickly depart before discovery.

Travis’ return to the house was only minutes before Bradley as he had taken the longer route not to be discovered, his face flushed with guilt and with his clothing still somewhat disarranged he hurried into the kitchen pretending to be preparing lunch; all the while the sight of Bradley’s naked body flashed across his inward mind, as clear as if it were cast upon a theatre screen. Unfortunately the memory commenced to pump blood back into his once again rising member.

“Lunch not ready?” Bradley stated as he reached the kitchen.

“Not yet – Won’t be long.”

Travis released a throat cleaning nervousness.

“Umm,” Bradley rumbled as his eyes lowered from Travis’ red flustered face to the forming bulge of his crotch, “Is that so,” he curiously added.

Travis noticed his friends stare and conjured a dozen excuses, each as ridiculous and unbelievable as the other. The one thing he could not admit being Bradley’s nakedness had aroused him. Now Bradley’s gaze upon his bulging crotch only intensified his problem.

“I’ll be back in a moment.” Travis declared and left the room to rearrange his clothing in private. Moments later he returned lacking any showing but still somewhat flushed, while Bradley gave his crotch a second glance but refrained from further comment.

Travis forced a smiled; “lunch won’t be long,” he repeated.

“You have already said so,”

“Have you moved the horses?”

“Not as yet,”

“Will they be alright without water?”

“There is enough in the trough for the moment and I’ll do so right after lunch. You appear jumpy what seems to be the problem?”

“Nothing,”

“A little flushed as well have you been -,” Bradley released an accusing grin without need to give accusation.

“Been what?” Travis displayed vagueness.

“Tugging the old fella,”

“No I haven’t, it’s the heat. “Huh,”

Travis gave a nervous chortle.

Bradley a disbelieving grin.

And the matter was left unresolved.

Although Bradley still disappeared for his swim and possibly other private activities, Travis no longer followed. He wished to do so but the fear of being discovered was more powerful than his developing yearn for further vision of Bradley’s naked body. There was also another development within Travis and that was his understanding of self and his attraction towards men.

He always knew there was something different about his quality but never allowed it to surface, it remained deep and unnamed but now it was forthright and demanding acknowledgement but still refusing to be called by its true identity.

A fortnight after Travis’ return from Mareeba a second letter came referring to his tenure of work at Mt. Surprise. The property owner introduced himself as Charles Morris and gave instructions how to arrive at his holdings and when he expected Travis to commence employment. Travis showed the letter to Bradley, who after reading its contents gave warning.

“His writing is poor,” Bradley confessed.

“His spelling is worse,” Bradley followed.

“Many on outlaying properties have little schooling,” Travis says.

“And who hires someone without at least meeting them?”

“That did cross my mind,” Travis agreed.

“I think you should look further into this offer before agreeing with it.” Bradley cautioned.

“I’ve already agreed, besides if I don’t like it I can move on. Anyway I don’t intend to stay for any length of time, just to get a feel for working a proper job,” Travis folded the letter away but not Bradley’s concern.

“You have a couple of weeks to change you mind,”

“True but I will go through with the offer and as I said if it isn’t satisfactory, I’ll move on.”

It was Monday and as usual hot and cloud free without the slightest breeze to scurry the red dust. Roy had visited over the previous weekend to show the property to the mine’s manager whose intention was to use the house as an office until they had the mine site up and running. Roy again attempted to talk Travis out of leaving, even if only to appease his sister-in-law but to no avail, Travis was addiment. Besides within the month Bradley would be gone as well, so remaining longer would only be delaying what was inevitable and accepting another unproductive position in his uncle’s employment would only make him feel a freeloader on Roy’s good nature.

Thursday would be his departure day and Travis had already packed previsions and his meagre belongings into saddlebags, which stood in anticipation like sentinels guarding his exodus close to the verandah steps.

“Why don’t you put Titch on the train?” Bradley suggested during a quiet drink after their evening meal.

“It’s no more than a couple of day’s ride and would be good experience, besides arranging a boxcar is expensive.”

“Fair enough but I will give you one more suggestion.”

“What would that be?” Travis asks.

“Are you taking the main road?”

“No it is much too long; I thought I’d follow the railway service track.”

“Then when you reach Lyndbrook, don’t take the road that leads to Fossilbrook.”

“Why is that?” Travis asks.

“The road doglegs west to Fossilbrook and then back to Byrimine, it would add a good ten miles or more to your trip.”

“Ah the Morris property is near Byrimine.” Travis answered as Bradley handed him a folded page of paper.

“This may help as the track is almost nonexistent between Lyndbrook and Mt. Surprise. I’ve drawn you a map, it shows you where to find permanent water and the access track along the railway from Lyndbrook and Byrimine avoiding the dogleg.” Travis accepted the map and thanked Bradley, assuring he would put it in a safe place along with a page from an old school atlas denoting that part of the north of Queensland.

Wednesday night arrived with a refreshing storm, giving the country west of the ranges a good soaking. Now Travis shouldn’t need Bradley’s map to find water but he did appreciate the suggestion of the short cut.

“So you’re off tomorrow?” Bradley says somewhat rhetorically from his advantage in the shadows enveloping the top step. Although Bradley’s face was shrouded in darkness, his tone was poignant.

“Yes,” Travis answered, the word escaping as an almost whisper, while wishing to say more but realising no amount of words would lighten either his or Bradley’s mood.

“And there is nothing I could say to change your mind?”

“Has Roy put you up to changing my mind?” Travis asks.

“He did ask me to try.”

“I thought you would be more than happy to see me gone,”

“Once maybe but now I like having you around,” Bradley admitted in a low and calculated tone. He stretched outwards into the night and with a light sigh settled back onto the step.

“Believe it or not Bradley, I like being around and I promise once I have done with my,” Travis paused and laughed, “as a number have suggested, chasing rainbows and if you have your own place and still want me, I’ll come work for you,” another pause, “for free if you wish,” yet another pause, “well maybe not quite for nothing.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Bradley asserted.

“You know Evan want’s to join with me?” Travis informed.

“He did tell me and I’m afraid you won’t be able to shake him.”

“He’ll forget about it by the end of the year,” Travis assumed but had little faith in stating so.

“You do realise he worships you.”

“I don’t know why, I’ve never given him cause,” Travis answered showing surprise with Bradley’s comment.

“I think it’s a bit more than that,” Bradley added.

“What do you mean?”

“Best I leave it; I may be wrong and talking out of turn. We’ll discuss it at a later date,” Bradley concluded and moved away from the conversation.

“You could always come with me,” Travis offered.

“Roy’s coming up again next week. He telephoned Bunny yesterday ‘arvo and said he had some news for me. He also said if I couldn’t convince you to stay, then to pass on his best wishes.”

“It must be about shifting the stock across to the other property. Will you be droving them?” Travis asks.

“Not the horses, too flighty and most would bolt to the bush, he will be trucking them.”

“I should stay to help.”

“No Travis you need to get this out of your system, best you do so as for help, Roy will bring along extra men from Mungana.”

“How big is Mungana?”

“Not very, around two and a half thousand acres I guess.”

“Cumberland Downs was eleven hundred square miles,” Travis proudly admitted.

“Yes but how productive. I would think about four head per square mile, if that, Mungana is good grazing land.”

“True,”

“I’m going to look in on the horses,” Bradley stood but paused progress.

“Would you like me to come with you?”

“Na,”

Travis was awake before sun-up. He had hardly slept that night and when he did dreaming came heavy to him. None of which he could recollect but with the morning their shadows remain, hiding like unpleasant visitors lurking with intent to impede his departure but with the fresh clear day they were pushed aside by his resolve.

As soon as he was dressed Travis prepared breakfast and called for Bradley to join him, who arrived shrouded in silence. He almost spoke but slipped again into quiet. Travis felt equally as miserable but knew he must at least pretend to be cheerful without exaggerating buoyancy, so any conversation was delivered in short direct sentences and as distant as possible from the subject of his departure.

“It was my turn to do breakfast,” Bradley confessed.

“I wished to do so one last time,”

Bradley became seated.

“Could you do something for me when you go down to Mareeba?” Travis asks as he served bacon, fried eggs and of course scraped burnt toast while thinking it may be the last time he would enjoy the simplicity of scraping toast.

“Sure,”

“There are two boxes in my room that I won’t need, could you have Roy deliver them home?”

It was agreed.

“I’ve also left something on my bed for you,” Travis smirked.

“Not those bloody Y-front underpants again.”

“I thought you could use them,” Travis delivered the words with his best possible sincerity.

“You are a funny fellow,” Bradley’s mood commenced to lighten. He was resigned to the fact that Travis was leaving and had done all he could to prevent it, so now he would concentrate on returning to Mareeba then to Mungana and the thought of possibly having his own property.

“One thing, whatever you do with the underpants, don’t deliver them home, mum would have a fit to see them still as new and I don’t have the heart to throw them out myself.”

“I’ll burn them.” Bradley declared emphatically.

With breakfast over and the kitchen tidy, Travis took one last tour of the property. He stood for a while watching the foals at play, then to the creek and Bradley’s swimming hole, thinking he would never again be able to sneak up on his friend. ‘As well – if caught how could I explain,’ Travis thought as he slowly returned to the house with the sound of parrots screeching as they fed on Callistemon blossom.

It was time to leave.

Travis led Titch to the base of the stairs and collected his saddlebags, while Bradley gave the bay mare a friendly brushing. With the saddlebags secured Travis took control of the reins and stood motionless, his mood dull and apprehensive, yet there was a spark of excitement within which he knew would develop further once he had commenced his journey.

“Have you been in to say good bye to Bunny?” Bradley asks.

“Yesterday,”

Guarding their emotions both stood in silence, their eyes caste towards the gravel of the path, neither wishing to speak.

“Well,” Travis eventually delivered with a sigh.

“Well,” Bradley answered his voice almost inaudible. He took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around Travis drawing his chin into the nap of his neck. He may have had welling tears before his embrace but now he was fully crying, which brought Travis to release his own building emotion.

“I’ll miss you kid,” Bradley says pulling his ambience back from further embarrassment.

“I’ll miss you too but I’ll keep in contact. Write to me.”

“I’m not a good writer,” Bradley admitted.

“Don’t matter, just a few lines.”

“Where to?” Bradley asks as Travis mounted.

“Mt. Surprise Hotel should find me and I’ll let you know where else when I move on.”

Travis turned Titch’s head and moved out along the gravel leading towards the road. At the gate he looked back but Bradley had gone. It was then his true emotion broke. He was going to give one last farewell to Bunny and Stan but could not face them in his emotional state, which lasted until he was out of sight of Bullock Creek. He looked back and as he did his emotion changed. Now he was frightened and would have turned Titch’s head except for the fact that his youthful adventure must be realised.

“Hey Titch it’s only you and me now girl,” Travis sighed close to his mare’s ear while patting her neck as they crossed over the first creek, passing what Travis considered to be the point of no return.

Gary’s stories are about life in Australia as a gay man. Your emails to him are the only payment he receives. Email Gary to let him know you are reading: Gary dot Conder at CastleRoland dot Net

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