Published: 26 Jan 2026

Sunday-evening’s Dinner;

The Sunday roast is on the table covered with a sheet of alfoil. The lamb cooked to perfection, the mint sauce made from a recipe handed down from Karen’s grandmother, the gravy pan juices thickened with a touch of cornflour. There are two large chargers, one is piled with steaming greens the second has roasted spuds, sweet potatoes, pumpkin and parsnips.

Only David likes the parsnips; as he isn’t at home for the meal he will enjoy them cold with leftovers when he returns from his business trip on Monday.

Karen had purchased wine for Trish but knows Grady and Brian’s preference is for beer therefore a half dozen bottles of Gold-Top stubbies are cooling, with juice for the younger ones, or possibly a beer for Lewis if he can be sneaky enough. For dessert there will be peaches with cream and strawberry ice cream. A double whammy for the arteries David would comment on adding cream as a topping over ice cream.

Karen appears flustered as Biff is late, fashionable maybe but to Karen six o’clock means ready to sit to the table after enjoying a little casual conversation and a drink.

Karen is glaring at Grady and he can read her thoughts.

Grady answers his mother’s thinking;

“He’ll be here mum stop panicking,”

“Soon I hope or the meal will be ruined.

As if by design there is a knocking to the door.

Biff has a characteristic knock being; Om-diddle-om-dom – dom-dom that is if one could put the sound of knuckles on timber into a verbal tune; Biff never uses the actual door chimes.

Lewis is at the door before the final dom-dom, he opens the door allowing Biff entry.

“Mum is cranky with you,” Lewis quietly suggests.

“Why is that Lewis?’

“You are late.”

Karen calls from the dining room;

“Don’t listen to him Brian, come in and Grady will get you a beer.”

Biff appears to have dressed up for the occasion, gone is his white undershirt he borrowed from James Dean, also his Jeans appear fresh off the rack and his shoes polished although scuffed at the toes.

“You do look smart Brian,” Karen complements while fussing over the finishing touches to her meal table.

“Thank you Mrs. Dowie, have to look nice for the ladies.”

‘Crawler,’ Grady thinks but keeps the comment in head.

Karen notices Biff has arrived alone;

“Couldn’t Trish come; I have set a place for her.”

Grady’s amusement lowers;

“Oops mum – sorry my fault, I was supposed to let you know, Trish has a family function she couldn’t get out of.”

“No matter,” Karen says and forces a smile to camouflage the change in her dinner arrangement, as even the slightest deviation would cause stress. She takes a deep breath and thinks never mind, being the two words she had taught herself to say whenever things went wrong, even if the adage never appeared to work.

‘Never mind,’ she double thinks, then with a huff she moves on.

Karen surveys the table and is satisfied, then there is the seating arrangement, it must be perfect but without Trish she would need to quickly rearrange.

“Brian,” she says.

Karen pauses and places a painted finger to her chin.

“Seeing David isn’t here you can sit at the top of the table.”

Another pause;

“Yes;” she says and is happy with the decision;

“Lewis, go and fetch your sister.”

The main course is enjoyed with pleasant conversation. Lewis as usual showing his juvenile characteristics, teasing Biff about his relationship with Trish and when they were going to marry, while making comment about Grady’s lacking in company of the fairer sex.

“Yes Grady” Karen says; “you will need a partner of Tony’s wedding, you can’t join in with the bridal’s waltz on your own.”

“Greedy can’t dance,” Lewis says.

Grady ignores his brother;

“Grady can’t dance,” Robyn mimics her brother with laughter.

“I have someone in mind.”

Biff takes notice but doesn’t comment.

“When are you going to bring her around to meet the family?” Karen asks.

“Do you think I’d bring a nice young lady here to meet Dad?”

“Grady!”

“It is true mum, you must remember the last time.”

“Don’t blame your father you were at school and studying, your father simply thought better not to have the distraction.”

“Wasn’t it more a fact that dad doesn’t like foreigners.”

“Grady your father isn’t like that.”

‘He is,’ Grady thinks.

Lewis has the chuckles, he well knows their father.

“Anyway I haven’t asked her yet,” Grady says.

Karen brings out the dessert and as she serves peaches with ice cream, her eyes are of Brian;

“How is Ron?” she asks as she gives Brian an extra peach.

“Dad is much the same; I don’t think he has gotten over mum passing even after all these years.”

“How old were you when your mother passed away?” Karen asks.

“I was seven and if I close my eyes she has gone from my memory, I don’t think there is even a picture of her as dad burned them all out of grief.”

“That is sad,” Karen sympathises.

What is even more poignant, it was Ron Bastian, Karen should have married but she never had the nerve to tell Ron how she felt about him and when the nerve was strong enough Ron married Veronica, instead Karen married David on the rebound but never loved David, respected maybe but that was long ago, now even the respect has gone and they remain married out of any idea of what else to do.

“Yes sad,” Karen repeats as she commences to clear the table.

“I’ll give you a hand, Mrs. Dowie,” Biff offers.

“No you and Grady go into the living room and I’ll bring you in drinks. Would you like beer or something stronger?”

“Beer would be fine.”

“I’ll have a beer as well,” Lewis suggests.

“No you won’t young man, you have school tomorrow and have exams soon so it will be an early night for you.”

“Mum!”

Karen ignores Lewis as he begrudgingly departs but only as far as the living room.

“Brian you have a birthday coming up,” Karen recalls.

“Yes I’ll be twenty.”

“On the fifteenth isn’t it?”

Grady interjects;

“You can remember Biff’s birthday and can’t remember mine.”

“How could I forget your birthday Grady as it is also the fifteenth; possibly we could throw you both a party.”

“No party thank you Mrs Dowie, I’m not one for parties.” Biff declines while recalling a joint party for both he and Grady that ended badly with David and Ron almost coming to fists, ending with both dads leaving the celebration before the cake was cut.

As for Karen, she could never forget her son’s birthday, she had been in the same hospital ward having Grady as Veronica was having Brian and the boys were borne no more than ten minutes apart with Brian the older? What also remains vivid in Karen’s memory was Ron’s twice daily visiting Veronica and making a fuss over Brian, while it was Karen thinking he should be visiting her. David only visited once and that was to collect her and baby Grady, although if fairness should be given, David was having business problems that could not be put aside and he did make up for his neglect when Lewis arrived. By then Karen had all but lost interest in David, even more when Robyn arrived with Karen taking preclusions assuring there would be no more. Even so she loved her little clutch of three; four as she secretly included Brian.

It is a warm night although being this far north it is always either warm or hot. The meal was well appreciated being a change from Biff’s father throwing everything into a pan or pot with hope it would at least turn out palatable. The company was excellent for Biff as he felt at home at the Dowie house having treated it as his second home since his mother passed away, with Karen treating him as one of her own. That was until high school when David turned feral blaming Biff for leading Grady away from furthering his education.

With the dishes done and the evening winding down, Biff is ready to depart, he finds Karen in the kitchen making ready for the morning.

From the kitchen door Biff calls to say goodbye;

“Thank you again for a wonderful meal Mrs. Dowie.”

“It was a pleasure Brian but next time you must bring Trish.”

“Will do – again thank you and I should be on my way.”

“Before you go I have something for you.”

Karen removes a photograph from her apron pocket.

She passes the photograph to Biff;

“It is a little crumpled and faded, it is of your mother and me before you were born. It was taken down the coast during a summer holiday after Ron and David gave up cattle work.

Brian is chuffed almost to tears;

“I will give it pride of place in my room.”

“Did you drive?” Grady asks; coming from behind he places a hand on Biff’s shoulder then as quickly withdraws it.

No one appears to notice Grady’s gesture.

“No way, as I was having a couple I couldn’t afford running into the local establishment again. I’ve already had what is called my first and only warning.”

“I need some air, I’ll walk with you,” Grady offers.

Biff pokes his head into the living room;

“Good night Lewis.”

“Seeya’, Lewis answers as the mates depart.

Once outside Grady speaks;

“Sorry about the gesture.”

“What gesture?”

“Putting my hand on your shoulder.”

“No matter, if anything your clumsy retreat was more noticeable.”

“Sorry I don’t know why I did it.”

“Grady it doesn’t matter and stop apologising for everything.”

Grady laughs; “sorry.”

“Huh!”

Home from Dowie Street for Biff is too the corner, right into Rankin and left past a small park into Borland, hardly worth turning the key and revving the motor.

The corner of Dowie arrives without conversation then Biff speaks out of character.

“Greedy what are your expectations from life?”

“How do you mean?”

“Where would you wish to be in say ten years time?”

“I’ve never thought further than the next game then there is cricket season,” Grady pauses their progress;

“Where has this come from; are you planning something?”

“Not planning, simply thinking.”

“Is it anything to do with Trish?”

“Why would it?” Biff quizzically asks.

‘Why did I mention Trish?’

“No reason only you have been quiet about her of late.”

“It was something Ron said.”

“Go on.”

“Ron said he isn’t getting any younger and I should experience the world and not hang about a boring old man.”

“Would you like to travel?”

“Not necessary travel.”

“Truthfully I haven’t thought further than finishing my apprenticeship, possibly some day having my own garage, what about you what do you want from the future?” Grady reverses.

“I would say something I can’t have and would never reach for.”

They approach Biff’s house; there is a light burning in one of the bedrooms, “Ron is home early,” Biff says.

“I’ve never witnessed your serious side, what’s up?”

Biff forces a laugh as he reaches for the gate latch;

The gate squeaks loudly as it opens;

“It’s nothing, forget it.”

“I don’t think I can.”

Biff remains laughing;

“Thank you for walking me home, I could give you a goodnight kiss.”

The humour is accepted;

“Keep them for Trish.”

The humour dissipates;

“Yes Trish – see you at Wednesday’s footy training goodnight.”

Biff goes inside and is gone from the night.

Walking Ranking Street Grady is concerned by Biff’s mood. True Biff often had solemn attacks when he wouldn’t speak, simply answering questions with yes or no or a shrug of the shoulders but this night was different, even while at dinner he appeared subdued, softer of character could be supposed. True Biff always had a gentler tone with Karen but this night it had been more than usual as if he had a decision to make that was causing him grief. Then there was Grady’s gesture, why did he do it, was it from some deep down need to be wanted or simply a showing of friendship and why did he make it more obvious by apologising to Biff.

Arriving home Grady notices freshly dug soil under the cyclone wire fence close to the gate with the bottom of the wire forced. Entering into the yard he gives a soft whistle expecting the dogs to come to greet him. Jenny arrives but no Marshie.

‘Bugger;’

‘Lewis was supposed to put Marshie on the chain.’

Grady sees movement under the corner street light, it is Marshie and by all accounts he is heading for the Morrison’s poodle. He gives a loud whistle but Marshie continues on his way with a mission.

Grady is grinning;

‘Enjoy yourself boy.’

‘I think it is about time you had a visit to the vet.’

That was also his mother’s wish but David would not agree, saying he wanted to breed from Jenny with Marshie. Why so as neither dog had pedigrees or had ever seen a stock animal. Grady’s opinion of David’s refusal being maculating his dog was like having the knife to his own person. No male, dog or human, should have to consider that humiliation.

Wednesday’s training is a quiet affair, again half the team is missing and as there are only two games remaining in the season the team’s attitude is stressing Coach Tuddenham to such an extent he is thinking of giving coaching away and find some pastime that is at least appreciated. Now with the local team second from the bottom most are resigned to forget the season and hope for a better result next year. What is even more concerning Biff is missing from training even after Grady had given him a bell during the previous night, receiving assurance he would attend.

After a light training session Grady decided he would visit the Bastian house. Ron is home but Biff hadn’t come home the previous night, nor had he made contact. Ron didn’t appear concerned, saying he is old and ugly enough to look after himself.

What is even more concerning wherever Biff had gone it wasn’t by vehicle as his FC Holden utility remained in the yard with the hood raised laughing into the warm evening air.

“Car trouble?” Grady asks Ron.

“It’s blowing more smoke than a steam train,” Ron says, “I think the rings are shot.”

“Biff shoulda’ asked me, I could work on it and I’m sure the boss would let me use the garage during my own time.”

“You know Brian, he never asks anyone for help. He believes a man has to sort his problems out by himself.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“How is your mother?” Ron asks.

“Much the same,” Grady suggests.

To ask about Karen’s wellbeing is always Ron’s first question whenever they chance to meet without ever mentioning David. Grady had heard Ron and David had a falling out but it was never elaborated, only something lurking in the background whenever there was a Dowie family function.

Thursday morning and Grady takes a detour on his way to work but on reaching the Bastian house he discovers Biff hasn’t yet returned home and now even Ron is concerned enough to contact the local police. Their suggestion being, the lad has probable got a bit of skirt and is bunked-up at her place and he would resurface once the hormones calmed down.

Thursday night gives even more concern when Trish calls as she and Biff were supposed to meet up after football training on the Wednesday evening.

No sooner had the call from Trish ended when the telephone again sounds.

It is Karen who answers;

Moments later she is calling for Grady.

“It’s Harry Perkins from the timber mill for you.”

Grady comes to the phone;

“What would Harry want?”

“The best way to find out is to take the call,”

Grady accepts the call;

“Yes Mr. Perkins,”

“I’m sorry to bother you at home lad but it is young Brian Bastian, he hasn’t been at work for two days now and I know you kick about together, I thought you may know where he is, as even Ron doesn’t know.”

“I haven’t a clue Mr. Perkins he never mentioned anything to me.”

After a short conversation the call ends;

“What was that about?” Karen asks.

“Biff is missing and no one has seen him for two days now.”

“Oh, has anyone contacted the police maybe he had an accident, or his car has broken down on some bush track.”

“No his car isn’t working and it is at home.”

“Ron has a sister with a property down the coast, possibly Brian is visiting her.”

Grady’s tone displays irritation;

“Why would he stay with his aunt for two days without letting anyone know?”

“Don’t bite my head off, it is only a suggestion.”

“Sorry mum, I concerned about Biff, that’s all.”

Saturday after Biff’s disappearance and the seasons penultimate game against the bottom team Wondecla had been played and won, even so it was a struggle without Biff then in the second half the sky opened drenching everyone but considered to be an advantage for the home side as they always played better in the wet some suggesting their mascot the Magpie should be exchanged for Mudlark. Fortunately for Grady his injury during an earlier game had quickly mended, although he had to work harder than usual, coming from the ground sore as the final siren sounded.

On his way to the rooms Grady happens to spy a familiar face among those brave enough to chance the weather. It is Biff seated alone in the rain some distance off to one side.

Grady approaches and waits for Biff to speak.

“You played a good game,” Biff appraises, his tone as if it were natural for him to be sitting on the sideline.

“Without you we were lucky to win.”

“True but a win is a win.”

“Where have you been?”

Biff simply smiles and says, “I’ve been.”

“What kinda’ answer is that? You had everyone worried, even your boss called threatening to give you the boot and as you are here for the game why didn’t you play?”

“I’ve already told you I’m giving it away; I came back last night and squared it with coach.”

“You could have at least let me know you were back.”

“You know now.”

Grady shakes his head in disbelief.

“No more questions Greedy – okay?”

Grady gives a shiver, during the play the rain felt warm but now his body heat was lowering towards uncomfortable.

“Come on get out of this weather.”

They shelter under the pavilion’s awning.

“One more question, does the team know of your decision to give the game away?”

“Not as yet, coach thought best to leave off until after the game.”

“I’m going to shower and change, at least come and let the fellows know of your plan.

“Some other time; I’ll see you at the Graham tonight.”

“I’ll be there as will most of the team, so it will be difficult avoiding them.”

“No matter – see ya’.”

Without further conversation Biff departs leaving Grady bewildered by his friend’s attitude. As Grady advances towards the club room, he pauses at the race watching Biff slowly walking through the light rain as if he is strolling on a bright sunny day. By his casual gait one could be forgiven in believing a heavy burden had been lifted from his youthful shoulders, even so he appears to be carrying an ongoing struggle that had been bubbling just below the surface for many years. It is obvious one day the bubble will break and Grady will more understand his friend. Until that day Grady understood not to push too hard and lay off the questioning.

Grady is attempting to remember something Biff said after Sunday’s dinner that was most definitely out of character;

‘What did Biff say after Sunday’s dinner?’

‘I remember.’

‘He said it was something he couldn’t have and would never reach for.’

Grady remains watching until Biff turns the corner towards home.

With Biff gone from sight Grady enters the race towards the rooms, for now he would put Biff’s attitude aside as he has a rare celebration to enjoy.

Gary’s stories are about life for gay men in Australia’s past and present. Your emails to him are the only payment he receives. Email Gary to let him know you are reading: Conder 333 at Hotmail dot Com

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