Prologue

Published: 13 Sep 2021

Brent had never believed he would be this happy again. He had been miserable when his dad and mom had told him they were moving. Brent’s dad had lost his job due to the company downsizing. His job had been outsourced and he had been let go with a decent severance package. It had given them enough breathing room for his Dad to find a new job. It just required them to move halfway across the country.

Brent had not wanted to leave his school or his friends. He did not make friends easily. He also knew that he was different from the other guys at school. He had begun having odd feelings during gym class. But since the new job was so far away, Brent knew he would not be seeing his friends again.

It was not until Brent had seen the boy mowing the lawn that he had been able to pull out of the tailspin of his depression. They had turned into the street of the new house and Brent saw him there, mowing the grass. He had been instantly drawn to the boy pushing the lawn mower across the yard.

Brent’s blue eyes were pulling in every detail of the teenager. He appeared to be Brent’s own age. The boy was lean and tan. He had the thickest brown hair. Brent was watching as he was pushing the mower with one hand, and swept the long brown locks of hair back out of his eyes. Brent’s heart skipped a beat as he was watching the boy in grey shorts and a blue t-shirt.

Brent slipped from the car and was watching as the boy was pushing the lawn mower back and forth across the deep green grass. He wanted to go over there right then and say hi. He had an inner need to get to know this boy better.

Brent saw him starting to turn in his direction. Brent did not want to be caught looking so he quickly turned towards his mom and asked about the neighborhood. He did not really care about the answer; he had just not wanted the attractive boy to see him watching.

Brent had wondered about the boy all the next day as he was helping his mom unpack boxes. He had taken his stuff up to his room and from there he could look out his window at the house where the boy had been mowing the yard. He wondered if he would get to meet him soon. He considered going over there and introducing himself but Brent was not that kind of kid. He was too shy and reserved to do something like that.

Brent was still trying to find all his clothes. It seemed like he would never get his stuff put away. He dug through a packing carton and could not find his shorts and t-shirts. He decided to go downstairs and see if his Mom knew which container they were in.

Brent had just about crapped his boxers when he had walked into the kitchen to find the boy sitting there. Brent was only wearing a pair of boxers when he had stepped into the kitchen. He could feel the heat instantly starting to climb up his neck.

Brent had hoped to die right there on the spot from embarrassment. Luckily, he had survived the experience and he and Devyn had become instant friends. They had seemed to form a connection from that very first day.

It took weeks of friendship and a camping trip before Brent understood exactly how alike the two of them were. It was on that camping trip with them sharing a bed that the two had realized what they were feeling for each other was more than just friendship. There was a mutual physical attraction. Neither of them knew exactly how to handle it. They both were afraid of the feelings they were having for the other. It also seemed that neither of them could disregard those feelings.

They both tried to fight them. They both tried to deny what they were feeling for the other. Even after having girlfriends and refusing to act on the feelings for each other they would or could not be denied.

Now Brent was crossing the street to spend the night with his best friend. They were going to spend the night without any parents. Devyn’s parents had gone out of town. Brent and Devyn would be completely alone for the first time in weeks. It would be the first time they were able to spend the night together since giving in to their mutual attraction and allowing themselves to be true. Brent was excited and nervous. He knew what they were going to be doing. They had both been anticipating it since the moment Devyn had known his folks would be gone.

Brent knew, when Devyn opened the door, that his friend was just as nervous and excited as Brent. It was written right there in Devyn’s soft brown eyes with those golden flecks. Brent had never seen eyes quite like them before. They were as warm as melted chocolate.

Brent could not believe how good he was feeling. He wanted this to continue forever. He was standing there with his best friend. He was standing there naked with his best friend and his best friend slowly stroking him.

“OH Devyn,” Brent groaned. “That feels so good.” Then when Devyn placed his mouth over Brent’s erection the feelings got even better. The feeling of Devin’s tongue swirling around his head was amazing. The feeling of those hot wet lips gliding up and down his shaft was sending shivers up and down Brent’s spine. He slid his fingers into Devin’s silky brown hair. Brent’s fingers slid through the long strands that fell over Devin’s forehead. He pushed them back, so he could look down into that face. Brent loved looking at that handsome face. The boy between his legs was sucking his cock. It felt so good. He wanted it to last forever. He felt his balls pulling up. He felt the sensations coming too soon. He wanted it to last longer. “Hoo-hah!” The climax went through Brent. His toes curled up. His body felt like electricity was firing through him as he emptied his seed into Devyn’s mouth.

He knew he was in love with this boy. He had never felt anything like it. The sensations Devyn gave him were unlike anything Brent had ever experienced before. The feeling of his friend’s tan skin against his skin was wonderful. That sexy body, those sexy lips, and that intense feeling of caring. It was almost overwhelming to Brent.

Devyn moved, bringing his lips to meet Brent’s. Brent tasted himself on Devyn’s lips. He tasted his own seed and he loved it. He loved it because it was on Devyn’s lips. He loved it because his best friend had given him so much pleasure.

He wanted to give Devyn as much pleasure. He watched as Devyn leaned back against the arm of the couch. He looked at the smooth tan skin. He drank in the sexy body and the erect cock sticking out from curly brown pubes. He slid his hands up and down Devyn’s sexy legs. He kissed his friend, before sliding down to lick his friend’s balls. He felt the tension mount in his friend as Brent licked up and down the shaft of the rigid cock. He teased that spot right under the head. He licked the head. He slid his tongue back and forth through Devyn’s piss slit. He tasted the pre-cum leaking from Devyn and he liked it. He wanted more of it. He wanted his friend to experience just as much pleasure as he had.

Brent took Devyn into his mouth. His lips caressed the head of Devyn’s cock. His tongue swirled around it. He stroked the shaft with his lips. He played with Devyn’s balls as he sucked the rock-hard teenage rod.

Brent felt Devyn tenderly caress his head. He felt Devyn’s fingers slide through his blonde curls. He sucked faster. He felt Devyn’s balls pulling up. He felt Devyn grow inside his mouth. He tasted that first shot of teenage cum. Devyn moaned in pleasure as Brent swallowed down the teenage load. He drank in all of Devyn’s seed. He slurped every drop from Devyn and then moved up his friend’s body to kiss the other boy. He put his lips on Devyn’s and let his friend taste the seed. The seed that Brent had just drank from Devyn’s teenage cock.

Brent did not know it could be so good. He did not know being with another guy would be like this. Being with Tracy had never made him feel this good. It had felt more like a struggle with her. It felt like fighting the current in a river. This felt natural. Sitting on the couch with Devyn felt perfect.

He watched his naked friend order pizza. He could not take his eyes off the teenage hunk. Devyn often did not know just how damn good looking he was. It was so sexy the way his hair fell over his eyes. It was even sexier when he would brush it back.

“You going to put anything on, stud?” Brent asked when Devyn got up to answer the door. “The pizza guy might not enjoy your naked body as much as I do.”

Devyn had grabbed shorts then and answered the door. Brent stayed naked on the couch. Luckily, you could not see him from the front door. He watched Devyn carry the pizza back into the room. Brent quickly removed Devyn’s shorts. “I like looking at this,” he said and gave Devyn’s soft member a kiss.

“You do that, and you will have to take care of it,” Devyn said. His cock was already beginning to grow.

“Anytime,” Brent said.

They ate and watched TV. They leaned against each other. Brent could not believe how good it felt having Devyn’s arms around him. How natural it felt to lean against Devyn. Brent could feel himself growing sleepy. He wanted more of Devyn, but he was getting so tired. He had not slept well, anticipating this night.

When Devyn suggested moving up to his room, Brent was happy to follow Devyn. He loved watching that naked butt going up the stairs. He wondered if Devyn would mind if he was the one on top this first time. He wanted to see how it felt. He wanted to know he had been inside Devyn.

They stretched out on Devyn’s bed. They curled up together to take a nap. “Just a few hours,” Devyn had said. “There is more we want to do.”

Brent had agreed. The next thing Brent knew he was waking up in Devyn’s arms with Devyn playing with his member

“How do you like your wake-up call?” Devyn asked.

“I love it,” Brent said.

They kissed. Their lips were touching, and their tongues were exploring. It felt so good to wake up with Devyn. Brent thought he could do this forever.

“Devyn, I really want to, um, you know,” Brent said.

“You want to be inside me?” Devyn asked, his lips turned up into that sexy smile.

When Devyn smiled at him like that, Brent felt like something was flying inside him. “Yeah,” Brent said. “Is that okay?”

“It is great you want to,” Devyn said. “I am just a little nervous.”

“I’ll stop whenever you say stop,” Brent promised.

“Okay,” Devyn agreed. “But I want to be inside you sometime.”

“Well, if you have time and the motivation today,” Brent said. “But right now, I want…”

Brent’s words trailed off as both boys knew exactly what Brent wanted. Devyn was more than willing to give Brent what he wanted. The feelings Devyn had for his friend were stronger than anything Devyn had ever felt.

Brent got the lubricant from Devyn’s sock drawer while Devyn moved onto his hands and knees on the bed.

“Be sure to use a lot of that stuff,” Devyn said as Brent began to lube up his cock.

Brent placed a glob of the lube right onto Devyn’s hole. He felt his friend twitch and grinned. He knew that this was going to be amazing for them both. He rubbed his slippery cock head against Devyn. He placed the head at Devyn’s opening

“You ready?” Brent asked, his body nervous with anticipation.

“Yes,” Devyn said, bracing himself.

Brent pressed harder against Devyn’s sphincter. He pushed harder and harder until he felt the ring give way and his head popped inside.

“Ohohoh,” Devyn moaned.

“Does it hurt?” Brent asked, concerned about his friend.

“Like hell,” Devyn said.

“Should I pull out?” Brent asked worriedly.

“Just give me a minute,” Devyn said.

Brent rubbed his hands across Devyn’s back as he waited for his friend to get accustomed to having something inside him. Brent loved the feeling of Devyn’s tan skin under his hands. He loved the feeling of the muscles that were flexing as his friend adjusted to having something inside of him. Then when he thought Devyn was relaxed, he pushed forward forcing more of his cock into the other teen.

Devyn was so tight, and it felt so hot inside Devyn’s tunnel. Brent could not believe how good it felt. He could not believe how wonderful it was to be inside his friend. “Oh man, Oh Devyn.”

With another thrust, Brent forced his shaft the rest of the way into Devyn. He held onto his friend’s hips as he pressed his blonde pubic hair against Devyn’s smooth skin.

“You, okay?” Brent asked at Devyn’s grunt.

“Just hold still,” Devyn said.

Brent rubbed his hands over Devyn’s back again. He ran them up and down the boy’s sides. He loved the feeling of Devyn’s body. He loved the feeling of the lean muscles and the soft smooth skin.

Brent gently pulled back and felt the other boy relax. He hesitated for only a moment before sliding back into the warm opening.

Slowly Brent began to move. He heard the grunts from his friend and knew Devyn was enjoying this as much as he was. Brent’s mind was focusing on the pleasure. He did not know anything but the pleasure that was coming from his cock. It felt so good being inside Devyn. It felt so right being here and doing this with his best friend. “I love you Devyn,” he thought as he grew closer and closer to his climax.

“Oh, damn Devyn it feels so good,” Brent moaned. He gripped Devyn and began thrusting harder and faster. The sensations were overwhelming.

Brent felt his balls pulling up. He felt the sensations building. He felt his member grow one last time.

“What the hell!” Frank shouted.

“Dad!” Devyn yelled.

“Get out, get the hell out of my house,” Frank yelled at Brent.

Brent’s cock had already started to soften. He had never got to cum. He was so close and then denied. “Get out!” Frank yelled again. Brent began looking for his clothes. He moved off the bed and realized that his clothes were still downstairs.

“Go! Get out!” Frank yelled.

The rage on Frank’s face was scary. Brent thought the man might have a stroke or a heart attack. His face was red and the blood vessels on his neck were popping out.

“My clothes are…” Brent was cut off by more yells from Frank.

Brent grabbed a t-shirt of Devyn’s to cover his body. He felt ashamed and embarrassed and sick and scared and so many other things he could not name. Frank grabbed him as he got to the door. Frank’s fingers digging painfully into his arm. Frank pushed Brent back hard against the wall.

“I don’t ever want you in my house again. I don’t ever want to see you again. I don’t want you screwing up my son. I want your faggot ass to stay away from my family.”

Devyn started yelling back at Frank. Brent listened for only a moment before slipping out the door. There he found Judy, Devyn’s Mom. He held the t-shirt over his crotch as he moved past her. He hurried downstairs. He grabbed his clothes. He pulled on his pants and shirt. He ran for the door as the shouting upstairs got louder.

Brent bolted out the door. He ran across the street and into his own house. He darted up the stairs and into his bedroom. He closed the door and dropped down onto the bed. He did not know what he was going to do. Everything had been perfect. Just moments ago, everything was perfect and now it had all gone to hell.

Brent was not sure how long he had been there on his bed. The image of Frank and Judy walking in on him and Devyn kept replaying in his head. He thought at one point he was going to throw-up. He heard the phone ring and then he heard his father shouting for him. He did not want to go downstairs. He did not want to see his parents. He just wanted to turn back time.

“Get down here right now!” his dad shouted.

Brent slowly got up. He started down the stairs. He saw his dad standing there. He could see the disappointed look in his eyes.

“What the hell happened over at the Roberts’?” his dad asked.

“Um, nothing,” Brent said.

“Do not lie to me,” Richard said.

“Um, Devyn and I um… were just… um… goofing around,” Brent said.

“From what Frank says you were not just goofing around,” Richard said. “The kind of stuff that Frank says he caught you doing is disgusting.”

“We were just goofing around,” Brent said.

“Goofing around,” Richard shouted. “Not from what Frank says. Did he push you into this?”

“It was… um… something… um… Devyn… um… wanted to try,” Brent said.

“He wanted to try?” Richard asked.

“Um… yeah,” Brent said. “He um… kind of… um… pushed me into it,” Brent said. Brent thought again that he might throw-up.

“How could you let anyone push you into that?” Richard said. “It is sick and perverted. You will never see that kid again. You will avoid him at school. You will avoid him and never talk to him again. I think you might need to be sent off to military school. Someone needs to teach you how to be a real man. You aren’t learning it at this fucking public school.”

“I’m sorry Dad,” Brent said. “I… um… will not ever… um… see him again.”

“Are you feeling alright?” Linda asked her son. “You look pale and a little green.”

“I… um… think I am… um… coming down with something,” Brent said. He really did feel sick.

“You should feel sick,” Richard said. “After doing, doing what you did.”

Brent hung his head. He looked at the floor, so he would not have to look at his parents.

“Go up to your room,” Linda said. “I think you need to rest.”

Brent went back upstairs. He stopped at the bathroom and emptied his stomach into the toilet. He looked out the window and watched Devyn’s house. He could not believe how great things had been only an hour ago. Brent did not know how long he stood there watching Devyn’s house, but he saw Devyn come outside. He saw Devyn and his heart jumped. His stomach turned inside out. He saw him walk down the sidewalk and across the street. Brent ran downstairs. He needed to head Devyn off. He did not want his parents to answer the door. Brent almost tripped going down the stairs. He caught himself on the banister and wrenched his shoulder. He thought he might be sick again. He was feeling dizzy.

Brent pulled the door open just before Devyn pressed the doorbell. “Hey,” Devyn said.

Brent looked into those warm Brown eyes. “Why are you here?” Brent’s voice sounded cold to his own ears. He needed Devyn to go away. He needed him to leave before his parents heard them here.

“My parents… um… threw me out,” Devyn answered.

“They threw him out,” Brent thought. He looked at Devyn. He saw the caring in those eyes. He looked over Devyn’s shoulder. “Well, you can’t stay here,” Brent said aloud. Inside he wanted to hug his friend. He wanted to invite him in and hold him. Brent could not look into those brown eyes. He could not allow himself to have these feelings any longer.

“Do… Do your parents know?” Devyn asked.

“Yeah,” Brent said. “Your Dad kind of called them. I can’t see you anymore. We can’t be friends. My Dad is talking about sending me to military school. He says they can make a man out of me.”

“Brent, who are you talking to?” Richard asked from behind him.

“No one. No one,” Brent said, closing the door.

Richard pushed Brent out of the way. He jerked the door open. From behind his Dad Brent could see Devyn standing there. He looked lost. He looked like he had just lost his best friend. Brent thought he might throw up again.

“You are not welcome here Devyn,” Richard said. “You are not to step foot here again. Is that understood?”

“Um… sir…” Devyn began.

Richard would not let Devyn say more than a couple words. “Brent has told us what happened. He told us what you tried to force him to do. I will not have you doing that with my son again. You are to stay away from him.”

“Force him? I didn’t force him to do anything,” Devyn said, shocked.

“Don’t stand there and lie to my face,” Richard said. “Brent told us the whole disgusting thing. I thought you were a good kid. I am incredibly sad to find out just what kind of sick pervert lives next to us. I can’t believe you would force yourself on Brent like that.”

“I… I…” Devyn started but once again was cut off by Richard.

“Now get out of here and don’t come back. Brent doesn’t want to see you and neither do I.”

Richard closed the door in Devyn’s face. He turned to Brent. “I told you to have nothing to do with him. You stay away from him or else.”

“Um yes sir,” Brent said.

“Now go to your room and stay there,” Richard ordered.

Brent went upstairs. He closed his door and moved to the window. He looked out. He saw Devyn there on the street walking towards the entrance to the cul-de-sac. Brent saw the backpack on his shoulders. He wondered where Devyn was going. He wondered why he had not gone back home. Had his parents really kicked him out? What was Devyn going to do?

Brent watched him until he was out of sight. He wanted to die. He really wanted to die. Tears slid down his face. He felt as though life would never be the same again. He wanted to go back. He wanted to feel that love and caring again. “I am sorry,” he said to the image of the brown-haired boy in his head.

Brent woke up on Monday morning with dark circles under his eyes. He had not slept well. He could not get the image of Devyn’s hurt face out of his head. He went to school as usual. He saw Devyn in class but would not look at him. He wanted to talk to his friend, but he could not do that. He could not let Devyn pull him back into their friendship.

“What is going on with you and Devyn?” Tracy asked Brent after seeing the two of them avoiding each other.

“Devyn isn’t as good a guy as you think,” Brent said and would not explain any more to her.

Brent would watch Devyn, but he never tried to talk to him. He knew if he spent any time with Devyn, he would be pulled back into their friendship. “Isn’t that what you want?” Brent asked himself. “Don’t you want Devyn? Didn’t it feel so right with Devyn? It never feels that way with Tracy.” Brent argued repeatedly with himself. He was so confused.

When Brent got home from school on Monday his parents told him they had made a doctor’s appointment for him. “What do you mean?” Brent asked.

“We want you to get the help you need,” his mother said. “Your first appointment is in an hour.”

“Today?” Brent asked, surprised.

The psychologist was an attractive blond woman. “I am Dr. Wilson,” she said, introducing herself to Brent and his parents.

“Hi,” Brent muttered as he sat there with his parents. His parents explained the events as they understood them involving Brent and Devyn.

“It is not too uncommon for boys to sometimes experiment,” she said. “But we can help Brent work through his feelings and get him back on the right track.”

She proceeded to ask Brent question after question. Brent answered them with as little information as he could. He did not want to tell her about Devyn. She seemed extremely interested in the physical part of his and Devyn’s relationship. He refused to talk about any of it with his parents in the room.

“It is good that you brought Brent to me this soon.” Dr. Wilson was looking from Brent’s mom to his dad. “I think we should meet again on Wednesday and maybe also on Friday. I think starting out aggressively with Brent’s therapy will have the best results.”

“That soon?” Richard asked.

“Yes,” she said. “I think Brent is very troubled by what this other boy did to him. I think we need to start out with some intensive treatment. I also think Brent might be more open with me if we had sessions without the two of you in the room. I think it is hard for him to talk about this situation with his parents in the room.”

“If you think it is necessary,” Linda said.

“I believe you caught Brent’s problem early and it will make a dramatic difference in being able to treat Brent’s disorder. She smiled reassuringly at Linda. Brent however felt coldness from her icey blue eyes. “I am also writing a prescription for a medication that I want Brent to begin taking. It will help with his treatment. I have had great success with it in the past. Please do not worry we will be able to help Brent.”

After his first appointment with Dr. Wilson, Brent’s parents seemed a little more relaxed. Brent was still feeling guilty about Devyn and how things had ended between them. Brent met with Dr. Wilson twice more that week after school. She asked detailed questions regarding his and Devyn’s physical relationship but Brent would not give her those details. Brent was guessing she was filling in the blanks with her own imagination.

“Have you started taking the medication I prescribed?” Dr. Wilson was watching Brent closely.

“I… um… started yesterday,” Brent answered. He had been a little confused by the abrupt change in questions. She had just been asking about his and Devyn’s physical relationship. She seemed to be extremely curious about what kinds of sexual acts they had performed together.

“That is good,” she said, making notes. “Be sure to take it every day. It will help you with your treatment.”

“I will,” Brent said, biting on his fingernail.

“Now how do you feel about how Devyn was pushing you into this physical relationship?” Dr. Wilson’s cold blue eyes were watching Brent closely. “Please look at me when you answer. Looking at the floor is telling me you are hiding something.”

Brent brought his blue eyes up to meet Dr. Wilson’s gaze. He felt a chill down his spine as he answered her. “I… um… don’t know.”

“You should think about it,” Dr. Wilson said. “Sometimes with a particular kind of predator, it is easy to allow them to influence you. If the other boy is persuasive and deceptive, he could have started pushing you in this direction since the first time you met.”

“Really?” Brent asked.

“Think about which one of you brought up these feelings,” she said. “Think about which one of you initiated the first moves. I am betting it was this other boy. Do you think he manipulated you?”

“Um, I don’t know,” Brent said.

“Wasn’t it him that first touched you?” She was asking as Brent sat there trying to remember. It had seemed to just happen.

“Um, well, I, um don’t know.” Brent tried to remember. Had Devyn deliberately touched him first. He could remember casual contacts. But who did it first? He could remember taps on the arm or the knee. He could remember the casual brushing against each other. Did Devyn plan those?

“I want you to think about those physical contacts,” she said. “Write them down if it will help. We will talk about them next time. I’ll help you understand them so you can see the truth.”

Brent had not been able to think about anything else that night. He wondered if Devyn had been pushing him. Had Devyn deliberately manipulated him? Maybe Devyn had even planned that whole thing at the mall with Matt and Bryan. Could they be in on this with Devyn? Brent was even more confused than before. He looked at the picture of the two of them on the camping trip. They both looked so happy. It had been that night that they had started messing around. It was in that place that Devyn had first rubbed himself against Brent.

Maybe Devyn had planned it all. Maybe Devyn had pushed Brent into thinking he was gay. Brent had looked at guys before Devyn but that had just been curiosity. If it had not been for Devyn, he might have easily overcome those feelings.

Somehow Brent made it to the weekend. He wanted to just stay in bed all day. “Honey, don’t you want to go with us?” his mom asked him for the third or fourth time.

“No,” Brent said. “I still don’t feel good. I just want to stay in bed.”

“Did you take your medicine?” she asked, placing a cool hand on his forehead.

“Yes,” Brent said. He had not missed taking a single dose.

“You do not feel warm,” she said, taking her hand from his forehead.

“Can I just stay home?” Brent’s voice sounded a little petulant to his own ears.

“Yes,” she said, sighing.

His folks had only been gone for a few minutes before the doorbell rang. Brent wondered who it was. He pulled himself out of bed and dragged himself downstairs.

Brent opened the door and was surprised by the visitor. “Devyn!”

“Can we talk?” Devyn asked.

Brent’s heart started racing. He could feel things beginning to stir inside him. “I… I don’t think so. I can’t be with you anymore.” Brent had avoided Devyn all week at school. He had kept his distance from his best friend. He was so confused. From his sessions with Dr. Wilson, he thought Devyn had pressured him into doing those things. When he was talking to her it made so much sense. In her office he believed the manipulation and pressure tricks that Devyn had used. Here though with Devyn standing so close nothing made sense anymore.

“Come on man,” Devyn said, his voice cracking. “I know your folks are not home. I saw them leave. I was waiting. Let’s at least talk. Brent, you know how I feel about you. That hasn’t changed.”

Before he knew what he was doing, Brent pulled the door back further and stepped aside and let Devyn into the house. “You can’t stay long.” Brent closed the door behind Devyn and then turned to face the other boy.

“Brent… I… I am sorry that things happened the way they did,” Devyn said, trying to meet Brent’s eyes. Devyn reached out to pull the guy he had been having strong feelings for into a hug. He was expecting to feel Brent’s arms move around him. He was expecting to have his best friend return his hug.

Brent was surprised by the hug. He stiffened. He remembered everything that Dr. Wilson had said. Devyn was trying to manipulate him again. He could not respond to this sort of action. “I cannot have these feelings,” Brent thought. “I cannot give into his perverted desires.”

“What’s wrong?” Devyn asked.

Brent thought he heard concern in Devyn’s voice. “We can’t do this anymore. I… I can’t do this with you.” It was all Brent could do not to put his arms around Devyn. It felt as though every cell in his body was screaming at him to hug Devyn, to kiss Devyn and to just give into the feelings he was trying to deny.

“Brent, your parents aren’t here,” Devyn said, trying to look into Brent’s eyes.

“It doesn’t matter if my parents are here or not.” Brent pushed Devyn back to arm’s length. He needed to keep his distance from Devyn. He could not have those urges for the other guy anymore.

“Brent, I don’t understand,” Devyn said, his voice cracking a bit.

“It’s over Devyn,” Brent said. “I was just confused. I am not going to do that stuff anymore. My folks are even putting me into therapy to help fix the messed-up thing you did to me.”

“What?” Devyn said, confused.

“I know you didn’t realize how hard it was on me to have you pressuring me like you did, but it made me very confused.” Brent looked away from Devyn. He could not bring himself to meet Devyn’s gaze.

“Brent, you’re gay just like me,” Devyn said.

“NO! No!” Brent said, his voice getting louder. “I’m not. That is the problem. I’m not a fucking faggot like you. I am normal. You just confused me.”

“I don’t believe it,” Devyn said. “What did they tell you?”

Brent had to get Devyn out of the house. He should have never let him inside. “You have to go, Devyn. I can’t be around you anymore. I don’t want to be around you anymore. I’m going to get myself straightened out. I’m going to let the doctors fix me. Maybe you should do the same.”

“There isn’t anything wrong with me to fix,” Devyn said. “I’m gay, not sick or diseased.”

“But it is a disease,” Brent said. He was repeating what Dr. Wilson had told him. “It is like being an alcoholic. You have to fight the urges. You have to put them behind you.”

“We both tried that, Brent. It doesn’t work,” Devyn said.

“It didn’t work for me because of you,” Brent said. “You did this to me. You tried to come between me and my family, but it didn’t work.”

“You know what,” Devyn said, his voice growing louder. His face grew redder as he got angry. “You are the one that is messed up and I am not going to fucking put up with this.”

Brent had never heard Devyn use that tone with him before. “Devyn, you should go.”

“Yeah, I think I should,” Devyn said. “I think you are not the person I fell into love with. You are not…”

Brent could not listen any longer. He would break if Devyn said any more. “Just get out.”

“Fine,” Devyn snapped.

Brent knew if Devyn came back, he would fall apart. “Don’t come back,” Brent said from the doorway.

He closed the door and leaned against it. It had been so hard. It had been harder than anything else he had ever done. The hurt look on Devyn’s face had almost been too much.

Brent spent the rest of the weekend in his room and in bed. He did not get out until he went to school Monday morning. He should have stayed home. He thought he could have convinced his Mom that he was sick. But there was a reason he came to school. Brent saw him down the hall. His heart skipped a beat. There he was. He looked tired. He looked a little shabby. He started in his direction and then Tracy was there. “Hi babe,” she said.

“Um… Hi,” Brent said, watching him for a second longer then turning to his girlfriend. When Brent turned back, he was gone.

“You didn’t eat much dinner again,” his mom said. “You should eat more. It looks like you are losing weight.”

“I’m not hungry,” he said, pushing the food around on his plate. Everything was tasteless these days. Everything paled in comparison to Devyn’s warm lips. Nothing tasted as sweet as Devyn’s skin under his tongue.

Brent left the dinner table and headed upstairs to his room. “What are we going to do with him?” Linda asked her husband Richard.

“I don’t know,” he said. “He hasn’t been the same since…”

“I know,” Linda said. “I hear him up at all hours of the night. I don’t think he has slept well in weeks.”

“Maybe we should go away over his spring break,” Richard suggested. “Maybe a change would do him good.”

“Maybe,” Linda said but she was not sure. She had her doubts that their son would ever be the same again. Should they have been more understanding? She could not help but wonder if forbidding him to see the other boy had been right. “Maybe we made a mistake,” she said to her husband.

“What else could we have done?” Richard asked. “We could not allow that sort of thing to continue.”

“Maybe they would have outgrown it,” she said. “Maybe it was a phase.”

“I never went through a phase like that,” Richard said.

“Teenagers are different now,” she said. “It isn’t like when we were kids.”

“Let’s try going away for his Spring break,” Richard said. “I think that will help.”

Brent saw him in class and the halls. He watched him when Devyn was not looking. It looked like he was losing weight. He wondered where he was living. He had not seen him in the neighborhood and there had not been a light in his room. Part of him wanted to go to him. There was a part that wanted to tell Devyn he was sorry. “You have to fight those feelings,” Dr. Wilson told him during their sessions. “You know he is only manipulating you. He only wants to pull you back into his perversion.”

Brent was not sure about the perversion. He was sure what he had felt was love. He was sure it was. When he saw Devyn at school, he could feel the power of those emotions.

“I think I should talk to him,” he told Dr. Wilson.

“What would that do but give him the chance to manipulate you again,” she said. “Do not give him that opportunity. You are stronger than he is. Your health is at stake. You know what the right thing to do is.”

Brent was not sure he did know the right thing. How could loving someone be wrong? How could loving anyone be abnormal?

Brent continued watching for Devyn at school. He would see him in the hall or in class. He wanted to go talk to him. He wanted to tell him he was sorry but Dr. Wilson’s words kept echoing in his head.

Then there was that one day when Brent did not see Devyn in the hall. Devyn was not in class. Brent could not help but wonder if Devyn was sick. He knew he would have no way of knowing. He knew Devyn had not been home as Devyn’s bedroom was always dark. Brent could see that from his own room.

The days went by and Brent still did not see Devyn in school. Brent went to Devyn’s locker and waited. He had to know what was going on but Devyn never showed up. He listened to the bell ring signaling the start of class and still Brent did not see him. He waited knowing he would be in trouble for being late to class but he did not care.

Brent could not stop wondering where Devyn was. He had been missing from school for weeks now. Brent looked out his bedroom window and still saw no light in Devyn’s room.

Brent was going through the motions of going to school. He was not really hearing the teachers lectures or understanding anything he tried to read. He could not get his mind to focus on anything but wondering where Devyn was.

Brent was looking at Devyn’s locker again. He wondered if the combination was the same. He was about to go over and try it when he heard his name. He turned to see Sue approaching him.

“Oh, hi,” he said, watching her coming closer.

“Brent, have you seen Devyn?” she asked without any preamble.

“No,” Brent answered.

“He hasn’t been to school for a couple of weeks,” Sue said. “The last time we were together he was not himself. He was distracted. He even slept on our couch rather than going home. He said something about his parents being gone and hated how quiet the house was. I’m starting to get worried about him.”

“I think he is using drugs,” Brent lied to her. “It’s why we stopped hanging out together.”

“He was withdrawn,” Sue said. “The last few times we talked there was something bothering him. He was different.”

“You are better without him,” Brent said. But Brent was not sure he was better without Devyn.

Brent was walking with his girlfriend Tracy. She was talking to him but he was not listening. He was watching people on the street. His eyes were searching for the brown hair and the brown eyes. Had that been him?” Brent wondered. Had he just seen him across the street? He had almost darted out into traffic before Tracy had grabbed him and pulled him back. “What are you doing?”

“I, um, thought I, um, saw something,” He stammered.

“What is going on Brent?” she asked. “Have you even been listening to me?”

Brent knew he had not been listening to her. He had been too busy hearing the voices in his head battling. He could hear Dr. Wilson lecturing him but he could also hear this other voice telling him to find Devyn.

“I… um… was… um… thinking,” Brent said.

“You are always distracted when we are together,” Tracy said. She was trying to get Brent to meet her eyes. “You just are never here when we are together.”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“I think we need to see other people,” she said.

Brent looked at her. He knew he should feel something. He knew he should be sad they were evidently breaking up. Instead, he felt little to nothing. If he had to put a name to his emotion it would be relief. He was feeling relief that his girlfriend was breaking up with him. “Um, okay,” he finally said.

“Okay,” she said. “OKAY!” she said louder. “That is all you have to say when I say we should see other people?”

“Um… yeah,” Brent said.

“After all we did together,” she said. “After all these months together and that is all, you have to say?”

Brent looked at her, his blue eyes looking into her green ones. “Um… yeah,” he muttered.

“FINE!” she said and stormed off.

Brent watched her walk away. He watched her storm down the street. He should have chased after her, but he did not. He turned and walked towards home. His eyes were constantly scanning the crowd. His eyes were looking for brown hair and brown eyes. There he was going towards the park. Brent did dart into traffic this time. Tires squealed, and cars honked. He did not care. He was across the street. He grabbed his arm. “I…” his voice trailed off. It was not him. It was not him. “I… um sorry.” Brent released the stranger and turned. He walked back towards home. He stopped in front of his house. He looked at the house across the street. He did not realize his feet were moving. He did not remember how he got on the porch of the other house. He saw his finger pressing the doorbell. He heard the chimes. He heard the chimes and he felt his heart racing. Time seemed to stretch as he stood there waiting. Finally, the door opened. He saw those eyes now. Those soft brown eyes but they were in the wrong face. “Um, hi Mrs. Roberts,” he said, his voice cracking.

“You need to go home,” she said.

“I… um… just… um… want to… um… talk… um… is Devyn here,” he said the last two words were said fast.

Her lips thinned. She looked at him. Her eyes were sad. “He isn’t here,” she said. “He is gone.” She closed the door.

“Gone…” Brent said. “Gone where?” There was no answer, only the closed door.

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